Him
by Titanic-fanatic
Summary: Levi x Reader. Your first day in the Survey Corps brings with it a face that was long buried in your past. What unfolds as a result? Your plan to join Levi's infamous Unit going from bad to worse to somewhere very complicated and definitely not appropriate. Bit of humour thrown in too! Rating may go up as things heat up if you know what I mean: wink wink, nudge nudge.
1. Him

First Inspection

So you are here. You are actually _here_. You made it this far. _This _is it. It is your first day as an official member of the Survey Corps. You have fulfilled the your '_deathwish_' as your peers in the Military Police had rudely snuffed. That doesn't matter though as you have Eren and Armin at your side, literally as well as in a poetic sense, along with some of the other guys from the 104th trainees squad - the true comrades and people you would trust with your life. This is where you belonged, not in the safety of Sina. _This_ is where you would make a difference to humanity.

"Attention!"

You all straighten, staring dead ahead. The sun shining high above and signalling noon in the courtyard of HQ. It beats down with an equal ferocity as the dedication in your heart. Armin gulps, Eren's eyes thin in the light and you lift your chin a little, exhaling a calm breath.

There was no need to be nervous. This was only first inspection after all. Then you realise that the commanding officer making his way down the ranks is none other than Corporal Levi Rivaille and those nerves you just suppressed threaten to lurch out your stomach. His reputation precedes him as a notoriously strict perfectionist that had earned the title of _humanities' greatest _long ago_._

He is a little intimidating to say the least. Not to mention the way he beat the crap out of Eren in that stupid trial. You didn't witness it first hand but Eren's account didn't leave much to the imagination. It was for the best, but it only clarified in your mind that he was not to be trifled with, doing anything in the name of the cause.

You shake the anxiety from yourself, internally, daring not move as he approaches. He is short but taller than you believed from the tales you'd heard. You speculate that he must be taller than you, even if it is marginally. He continues his approach in silence, footsteps on the ground disturbing the quiet with authority. You swear Armin is having a panic attack beside you as his breath quickens and Levi draws nearer.

You swallow hard as Heichou's face comes into view, a hazy memory vivaciously springing into mind…it's _him._


	2. The Reason

The Reason

How is that _possible_? As you stand there, feeling as though lightening as been shot through you, you consider the vague images that have plagued your mind for five years. It's as though clarity is ebbing through the shadowed distortions and you quickly decide that it was _very_ possible…and more to the point definitely _him_. That soldier was in the same branch of the military, was of the same build…he even had the same haircut! Chance, fate or more aptly 'freakish coincidence', as your mind supplies, absorbs your thoughts. Your mind is reeling, in its bamboozled state and it's a surprise you are keeping silent.

You are cut from your distracted internal monologue by the unthinkable: he has stopped.

He is taking a step back to you and a ripple of nerves reverberate through the troops. His deadweight lead gaze smacks you right in the face. As the feeling of instability fills your body, you suddenly understand _too_ well why Armin was freaking out. It seems like an eternity passes as he studies your face, deadpan eyes unmoving. You attempt to avoid his identity confirming gaze, occupying yourself by holding your fist to your heart in a resolute salute. He doesn't react, continuing to watch from a few centimetres above rationalise that this perspective must be a novelty for him and that is why he's stopped. He wouldn't recall you; you were just a kid then.

His stare narrows and you dismiss the last thought as though scared he'll read your mind. Which is impossible, of course...right? You feel that any longer under this examination would make you continue to question yourself into oblivion, not to mention the validity of your existence.

"Interesting" he notes, not looking remotely interested before continuing on his way casually. His low voice resonates in your ears as he leaves, not allowing you to completely stifle the flicker of a notion that he may have recognised you. Finally, you release the breath you didn't realise you were holding in, lowering your hands to your side.

_Intense_ wasn't a strong enough word to describe that exchange.

* * *

"_, what was _that_?" Armin asks as everyone sits down to dinner. It is the first time you are able to speak since the courtyard's events having been designated our sleeping quarters and rot as as well as seen the nurse for a physical and issued our 3DGM Gear.

"What?" you reply.

"Heichou staring you out like that?" Jean supplies with interest from across the table.

"It was _him_" I explain.

Jean seems to have lost whatever he was about to say, deliberating something, whilst everyone else at the table looks at you with a mixture of disbelief and shock. Connie's expression stands out as blank and you roll your eyes "The soldier that saved me from the Titan attack in my village" you contribute. Still nothing "When it was seized five years ago and was orphaned? I decided to join the Recon Corps as a result" he still wasn't getting it.

'_I swear I've told him my background a hundred times by now. Everyone else seems to have remembered, he's as thick as two short planks sometimes'_

"I was inches from being Titan fodder" you recall quietly "It was reaching out for me". You can see it now as you blink, its merciless face gawping at you _"_And then, out of nowhere the Recon Corps arrived. A male soldier swooped in and saved me from its clutches" you continue. The grasp haunts your senses, somehow fresh from seeing him. _Strength_. His solid body felt like a wall of safety, as secure as Wall Maria felt before the peace was broken "I never knew his name or anything" you remember "He simply told me to run when he set me on the ground again…before going to dispose of the creature"

You are met with a moment's silence, your voice drifting to a distant place.

"How did you _not _know it was Captain Levi?" Eren asks incredulously, making sure not to raise his voice too loud. Your saviour and Commader Smith had just entered the hall and were making for their table at the head of the room. They pass, speaking intensely in hushed tones. You dare not answer nor lift your gaze until you feel they are out of earshot.

"I haven't seen him in person before, have I dipshit?" you respond, shaking your head as you speak.

He takes this in wonderment. Heichou was already his idol, as he'd told everyone repeatedly since our early days as trainees, this was just adding to his amazingness of the Lance Corpral and you could see it formulating in Eren's green gaze.

"So he's the reason you're here" Armin summarises with all the connotations of the statement implied. Not only were you alive because of Levi, he was your inspiration to join the military. Since that day you wanted to be that sense of relief that swelled in your chest as he scooped you up: the safety net, the person to save the child who had just lost their family to the titans…or even be the one to prevent it coming to that.

"It appears so" you answer, gazing over your shoulder to the man who was once but a sensation in your reverie.


	3. One on One

One on One

"Right you little shits. Welcome to the Recon Corps" he begins, hands behind his back.

He addresses you all, standing in two lines before him, listening intently.

"Hand to hand combat on a Titan would be as fucking useless as attempting to cut its flesh with a butter knife" Levi states matter-of-factly "_However_, it keeps you dexterous, your reactions sharp and refines balance" he elaborates with a cruel quiver of his lip. You feel like its the first honest reasoning given to you from a commander. It unsettles the others, the air thick with a mixture of anxiety and discomfort. You just feel your heart affirm its steady rhythm: this is what you want and none of that Military Police crap where all the orders come from a filtration of personal gain and agenda.

The Lance Corporal proceeds to reel off names in pairs as you consider this, along with some descriptions for want of a better word. Who'd have thought Jean answered to 'Horse Face', Armin to 'Goldilocks' and Connie to 'Corncob'. Yeah, nobody understood that one. You almost forget you are part of this 'role call' when he suddenly barks "And _".  
Your head shoots up to attention.

"_You're_ with me"

'_How does he know my name?_' your mind bleats, sudden suspicion stirring inside. You note Jean gazing at you distractedly as he is goes to his partner; a rather put out Eren who had been excitedly hoping that he could work with Heichou one on one by the looks of things.

'_He must know everyone's it's part of his job…then again, explain Corncob'_

Blinking, you approach the Lance Corporal and are met with those indifferent steely eyes. He straightens up opposite you expectantly. His body is solid, an intimidation radiating from his presence. Sensing the bout is ready to commence and so you make your move.

The next thing you feel is a mouth is full of dirt.

'_What the-?_'

"Going to have to be quicker than _that_ Cadet" he informs plainly from above you. His voice lilts up a little as he does so.

'_Is he smirking?_'

You can't tell as your head is pinned to the side and all you can see are pairs of boots in motion. There is a pressure across your neck which you quickly surmise is his forearm. You try to wriggle but it proves useless. Managing to move your head after a moment writhing, a pair of thin silver eyes sparkle through a fall of ebony hair at you. Its as though you have been catapulted back in time again, into one of your nightmares. A bit flummoxed to say the least you stare back, lips thinning. Before you know it the deadlock is lifted and he is offering you a hand. You take it politely, letting him raise you like a rag doll and note his hands are surprisingly soft.

'_Hang on what? Reality check_'

You spit out the dirt from your mouth in an unladylike way that would have driven your mother nuts, along with that comment you just made, and clear your throat.

"Again" you insist, meeting a lifted brow. He looks a little disgusted but what did he expect? One does not swallow such things. Next attempt you put up a bit of resistance, blocking a few of his reaches but he's too good. His arms have you on the floor again!

You survey the situation swiftly as soon as your head hits the ground, catching sight of his feet. He is poised precariously on toes as he holds you there. Without really thinking you whip leg round, taking out his ankles.  
Silence fell with a thud, along with Heichou who you proceeded to pin under you.

'_Was that wrong?_'

The silence isn't encouraging, nor his lack of reaction. His expression is as impassive as ever.

"Better" he snuffs "your balance is off though" he continues, without warning there is a strike behind your knees so you collapse to the side. Palms dirtied and grazed you stare at the dirt for a second. That was insane skill. You hear a symphony of sound fill the courtyard again, clearly the spectacle had passed.

"Any time_" he adds in a bored manner from behind you.

'_How did he get there? I didn't even see him move?'_

Now maybe it is his tone of voice or the fact that you have been staring at the soil more than anything else this morning, but determination grips you. Something switches on in your head. You are going to impress your superior, seize the moment and own it. This is probably your one shot to get you considered for humanity's best unit. That is still your ultimate goal in spite of your recent revelations, isn't it?  
"Yes, Heichou" you say cooly, emulating his demeanour and rising.  
He's straightening his cravat as you to turn to him.

"Levi!"

Commander Erwin appears on the sidelines "Enough playing with the newbies, my office" he continues, not even looking at you.  
Heichou seems irked as he mutters a '_tch_'  
His unaffected slate eyes slide your way "Until next time,_" he excuses.  
You are left there bewildered and dissatisfied for a second before another order is shouted from across the yard "Laps!"

* * *

"You levelled him _!" Sasha counters at the frown you've held all of training.

"Yeah good shot_" Connie adds, patting you on the back.

"It is unwise to speak of Heichou like that and besides…he levelled me" you remind with an exasperated sigh, rolling your shoulders in discomfort "Twice"

"You'll get your shot" Jean offers, placing an arm around your shoulders. The proximity is a bit awkward…but at least he gets why your annoyed so you let it linger. No harm in that right?

WRONG.

"Kirstein, _!"

"Awh shit" Jean mumbles, whipping his hand to his side. You look at him with what can only be described as confusion before realising your sparring partner is standing in front of you.

"Shit" you repeat in a low breath at his glower.

'_Apparently he did know his name then_' you think as an afterthought.

"That behaviour is not tolerated brats. This isn't some fucking _park_ where you wander around _cuddling_" he seethes. You can feel everyone take a step back as they all shut up.

"We weren't" you attempt and immediately regret that you did. He sends you a scathing glare and proceeds, not detracting his gaze "Kirstein muck out the stables and you…you are going to clean out the mess hall. _Now_"

You follow behind him, head hung low.

'_Fuck's sake...stupid Jean'_

The rest of your evening is spent with a mop and a bucket of water that Heichou issues you with...a few more mouth fills of dirt sounded more appealing.


	4. Silver lining

Silver lining

You were going to kill Jean. He made you look like some wide eyed school girl..._canoodling_. You shudder at the thought. Not _Jean_. Why did it bother you so much anyway? Well, it's not exactly going to help you get into his squad if he thinks you are immature or too irresponsible to consider a relationship. You don't see Heichou _frolicking_ and he was the best.

_'Ugh.'_

You are starting to sound like Eren.

The image of him frolicking confused you slightly. Somehow you can't imagine him smiling, let alone swooning. It doesn't register with his unaffected countenance. In fact, anything about him didn't register with that emotion. Trudging along the corridor towards your dormitory and the promised land of your bed, you sigh. Hopefully you'll get a few hours in before sunrise and training resumes and hopefully another chance to impress Heichou.

_'Yeah right'_

Feet dragging in the direction you amble in a sound enters your periphery, distracting you. Halting, you think it's your mind playing tricks on you. You shake your head and take a few more steps. It sounds again from down the hall. You could swear it was someone training; the sound of flesh against a punching bag or something.

_'Who the hell is up at this godforsaken hour training?'_

Deciding you are not delusional, intrigue gets the better of you and the tracking of the sound begins. A few aggressive grunts join into the noise as you wander, perking your interest further. Could it be a man training? Now although you completely disapprove of canoodling and the like...and were most certainly deterred from it after your newfound relationship with the mop, you aren't completely opposed to the idea...you did deserve something good of this disaster of a day. As much as you don't want to admit it your pace quickens, rushing down to the courtyard.

You see a dim light is on at the barn, also designated as training ground for when the weather doesn't cooperate, and venture toward the ajar door. Positioning yourself by the faint crack of light you precariously lean toward it, taking in the scene. Bleary eyed you squint in fatigue at the figure you can see.

_'He's muscular. Very muscular. Oh god he is __**shirtless**__.'_

You pull back into the darkness inhaling slowly, attempting to calm yourself.

_'Pull yourself together woman'_

Prepared, you slowly return to your vantage point, attempting to make out his face. It is rather dark in there, the moonlight illuminating a square of the floor through the window. Annoyingly the mystery man keeps bobbing and out of the shadows, every now and then his toned physique catching the starlight, outlining his athleticism in a silvery blue glow. Ignoring how much you feel like a magpie, gawping at the shiny object of your desire, you continue to peruse the man. His agile form knocks down the human dummy with a high kick, landing with his fist on the ground in a side lunge.

_'Flexible. Shirtless, powerful and flexible'_

Three words never sounded so appealing.

Okay, so this day had one redeeming feature. A beautiful man to look at. Part of you chides yourself again for being so childish but your excitement is normal. You haven't exactly been able to act like a young girl since joining the fight and anyone who was remotely attractive soon lost their allure after living in such close proximity to them. You shudder at the memory of the spitting contest Jean, Connie and Eren had begun in their first week. It was still ongoing…the record is 5 meters so far. _Why_ do you know that? An epiphany in your fatigue suddenly hits you. Okay, the problem was that Heichou knew..._that's_ the issue, that is why you are bothered. He thinks you like Jean. Which you don't...you certainly don't _now_.

Your (e/c) eyes return to the soldier, leaning your head against the grain of the door. A dreamy sigh escapes you as you watch. You try to place the familiarity about him as he picks up a towel and wipes his face breathily, heart pounding as much as you suppose his is. Then, as he nears into the light, excitement fizzes up inside. The face of the soon to be subject of your fantasies will be visible.

A pair of hooded silver eyes seem to glimmer in the darkness and your heart drops into your stomach. The man you have just been ogling for the past ten minutes, the Hercules in the night, the Adonis without a shirt is _Heichou Levi Rivaille._

The concept that he's still heading in your direction takes you a moment to register. Panicked and currently questioning what on earth you were thinking, you dash out of view. Concealed behind a pillar your presence is unknown as he thankfully heads off in the opposite direction. You peer round the stone to just check, you know...in case he did actually see you or something... his lean back disappears down across the courtyard and you make it back to your bed. You escaped him and his certain wrath for unknowingly spying on him. But as you lie there, in the dark, hearing Sasha snoring away, you realise there is no escape, you've fallen hard for Heichou.

Unsurprisingly your dreams that night are filled with a mixture of dread and him.


	5. Mission Time

Mission time

The next few days were pretty uneventful because it filled was training and chores. The real reason, which you profusely deny to yourself: you hadn't seen Levi through the entirety of it.

Apparently he'd been summoned to Sina with Commander Smith for a few days. In your spare moments you try imagining him among the officials, the ones you'd seen in the newspapers over breakfast. How would he behave? His normal impassive self…or perhaps a version that used less liberal language among the nobility. Would he be in his uniform or some form of formal garb? You decide he would be handsome in finery, his cravat looking rather more in place than in battle. You believe someone as high ranking as he would have such fine clothes, suitable for the grand halls of the Inner City. He is probably met by the ladies of court in their beautiful dresses of silk and velvet, hair pinned to perfection and not a mark upon their powdered faces. Immaculate women filled with poise and finesse that you could only dream of possessing. You try not to picture him around their grace and breathtaking allure or the way they would fuss over such a decorated war hero. It makes you feel inadequate. Which you suppose is actually a good thing, you shouldn't think yourself good enough for him - he is above you in ranking and therefore off limits. Better not to dwell on feelings that could never be satisfied.

In spite of this dose of reality, you contemplate Levi more than you'd care to admit. There is no escape from dwelling on him when you are training, when you wander though the castle, when Jean is chattering away to you about something or other. You dare not share what you saw and what you are starting to feel with anyone. It was, of course, ridiculous; any amorous feelings toward him. Anyway, you've only spoken to him a few times…yet he occupies the majority of your waking thoughts. Each time you tell yourself he is your commanding officer. Your mind supplements that he is your dream boat of a commanding officer that you just want to grab and...

You choke on your salad, gulping down a glass of water feverishly.

"Alright, _?" Armin asks.

"Yeah, yeah" you waver, going back to your food distractedly "just a bit tired" you mention as an afterthought.

Everybody goes back to their conversation, leaving you with your thoughts. You are tired, just thinking about him and all the things you want to him to do with you, _to_ you. Who'd have thought fancying someone would be so energy consuming. You hope he returns soon, perhaps seeing him will settle you and dispel this pointless doting.

* * *

"Wake up brats we move out in ten minutes! Titans on the eastern gate of Wall Rose"

You wake with a start, submerged in your sheets. In the time it takes to sit up the male soldier is gone.

"Was that _Heichou_?" Sasha mumbles.

You are frazzled, shaking yourself alert "We got to move" you announce, jumping out of bed with a start and pulling on your uniform. You attempt to dampen your excitement at the prospect of seeing Levi, his voice igniting something in you, adding to your nerves. The soldier in you takes over as you yank on your boots.

'_Right. No more muck ups. No inappropriate thoughts. Show your mettle and be the best you can be.'_

* * *

The yard is bustling like a hive. Organised chaos playing out in a well oiled machine. A shout here and there rises above the sound of gear being put on and the horses getting readied. The fresh scent of the morning filling your senses.

"The gate is down"

"We've just got to dispose of the ones that got in"

"Mostly out buildings and open space"

You stumble into the courtyard further, unsure of where to go. It just so happens that the horse mounted man you nearly wander into the path of is Levi.

He's indifferent, an undercurrent of impatience on his brow as he surveys his surroundings. It takes you a second to shake the image of his moonlit body from your mind as you register his appearance. He was truly beautiful in the early morning light. You blink a bit stupidly up at him.

"What are you staring at?" he asks flatly.

"Nothing sir" you manage, fixing your stare on a point just left of his perfectly chiselled jaw bone. He darts his gaze to follow your eye line curiously and then trots off, none the wiser. You sigh heavily, a force nudging your back and breaking you from your besotted stare. Almost tripping over, you turn to see the Jess holding onto a caramel coloured horse that is definitely not Shallot.

"This is Kahini" he introduces, a weary glint tinging his usually happy face.

"And what aren't you telling me?" you return suspiciously, crossing your arms.

He pats her raven black mane "Um. Well. She's the only one that suits your, your" he looks you over.

"I'm short. I get it" you interrupt abruptly, moving the conversation on.

"_Exactly_. So…she's not normally put out for missions so…she's a bit…boisterous"

"Boisterous, _how _can a horse be boisterous?" you ask, eyeing up the mare anxiously.

"Boisterous…maybe that isn't the word…_skittish_"

"_Skittish_?! Ow! Kahini!" you scold, pulling your sleeve out of her mouth.

"Did I mention she bites?" he adds. Before you can argue he's handed over the reins and vanished.

"Great" you resign, mounting what you hope isn't the cause of your demise. A bell tolls and the doors to HQ fling open, commencing a filtration toward the exit. With that Levi pulls up beside you muttering a "Finally" impatiently under his breath. Unaware of your presence and he canters off to join his unit at the front of the formation.

You watch him with a heavy heart before coming to your senses; Buntaichou Zoe is calling you over toward your own battalion.

* * *

**Author's note: And off to battle we go! Thanks for all the reviews and support! FYI - Kahini is hindi for mischievous so we'll see how ****_that _****works out for you aha ;) **

**Also apologies for the little bit of Levi, absence makes the heart grow fonder right? He'll be back soon, I promise...well...not very, very soon but ya know...short and sweet is what he is after all hehehe**


	6. From Four to Two

From Four to Two

Damage control is going well, despite being in open ground with minimal structures to use 3DMG. You are in a faction with Eren and Jean and have just taken out a fifteen meter class between you. There are no casualties you can see as you remount your horse.

"We have to help Sasha and Connie" Jean indicates; in the distance is a ten meter class that has been chasing them for who knows how long.

"_!" Eren calls.

"I'll catch you up" I reply "I think I saw Armin's lot in a bit of trouble"

He nods resolutely, heading off after Jean. There is a heated exchange between them before Jean follows after Eren.

"Right, let's find Armin" you whisper to yourself more than the horse. You turn to the west, where another fifteen meter class is wreaking havoc. You kick her into action, galloping off. She takes you about 200 yards away when suddenly something doesn't feel right. Kahini rears, throwing you off against a nearby stone wall. You hit it with a **twhack**, landing on your knees and wrists.

"Fuck" you seethe, looking up to see the damned horse running off.

Instinctively you check your gear. Everything seems to be in order _thankfully_. Pulling yourself up you survey your situation cautiously : the horse is gone and you are most definitely alone. Taking a step forward you gaze out into the distance, seeing another Titan fall to the ground. You smile, a flicker of pride fathoming in your chest as you shield your eyes from the now glaring sun. Standing there for a moment or two you notice something odd. The shadow you cast is slowly vanishing and the shading of your eyes is quickly rendered pointless. Eyebrow rising in growing fear you remain frozen, inhaling in the smallest of breaths as not to disturb the air around you. A stench follows the shade that continues to creep across the ground before you, causing your stomach to churn. Your hands tremble a little, attempting not to panic and slowly reaching for your blades. Steadying your pulse you spin on the spot speedily to see a pair of huge hauntingly empty eyes. They belong to a five meter class that is now leaning down and reaching out for its prey; you.

Running as though being chased by the devil incarnate you dart past the creature, aiming for a nearby tree with your gear. It turns dumbly to see you pirouetting through the air toward it, blades at the ready.

Landing on its shoulder you slide down its fleshy back in a fluid motion, allowing your blades to cross and trail behind you. You call out in pain as your wrist bleats with agony, cutting open the monster's neck, holding your grip firm in determination to end the Titan and not compromise your attack. The steam and heat it ejects allows relief to swell within you and absolve the pain, hitting the ground to be followed by the beast. Darting your attention from your aching right hand and blood dissolving from your weapons, fear curdles your blood once more.

_'Out of gas'_

The severity of your situation hits you like a punch to the gut. Like a cornered animal you look around frantically, searching for any sign of human life.

Nobody.

Swallowing hard you make a calculation or two, inspecting your damaged wrist. You must be a fair distance from HQ, although an exact number escapes you. Twisting it over you see your hand is bruising your otherwise even (s/c) skin yellow. There is nothing to be done…being in no state to defend yourself and isolated in open countryside. The only option is to begin walking back in the dire hope you run into somebody. If not that, you plead to god that they at least took care of all the Titans or that's your ass.


	7. The Knight in a Green Cloak

**So things are going rubbish for you…will you survive the end of the chapter? Will you make it back to HQ? More importantly, will you ever see Levi again? …well…here goes nothing ;) Oh and before I go cheers for the reviews, rec the story if you like because there is sooooo much more coming…ahem…been procrastinating from uni work a bit ha….**

* * *

The Knight in a Green Cloak

You've been wandering for hours.

Left foot.

Right foot.

Left foot.

Right foot.

You keep forcing the steps as much as your body aches and as grim as the situation seems. The only way you were going to survive this was by making your way toward the wall, toward HQ. You _had_ to go on. Abandoning your manoeuvre gear had lessened the load but hadn't lifted your spirits. It was a long shot to make it back. You suppose you must have been 40 miles from HQ when you lost that blasted mare as you'd been walking for about three. The night was now falling and although no Titans had got you the cold soon would. It was going to be bitter, the sun hadn't even set yet and there was a chill in the air.

You shrug your cape around you, focusing your weary eyes on the grey shadow of the wall. Part of you thought someone would have run past and seen you by now. There was no avoiding the very probable possibility that you were going to end up as another missing in action soldier who never returned. Sighing with a raspy throat you continue to walk, letting your mind wander and your feet trudge along the soil. You hope Heichou survived. You berate yourself; he obviously would have, this wasn't a difficult mission. The observation didn't help your impetus to continue walking either; what kind of soldier were you if you couldn't complete this task competently? One who wouldn't make unit Levi, that's for sure. Irately, you wipe away the stray tears from your cheeks, pressing forward.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, you hear the sound of hooves encroaching. A Recon Corps cape comes into view as the rider passes, a blazing emerald emblem of hope if you ever did see one. Turning in front of you the lone soldier comes to a halt and your heart is practically leaping out your chest in relief. His face peers out from the hood and it only sets your heartbeat faster; Heichou

You've never been so happy and relieved to see anyone, let alone _him_. He is literally your saviour, your knight in shining armour. He looks even more wondrous a sight to behold than usual. Too bad you can't express your gratitude or anything else as you are on the edge of collapse.

"Where the fuck is your horse?" he asks sombrely.

"If I knew that _sir. _I'd be riding it" you answer huffily. On reflection you shouldn't have smart assed him like that, but your legs are numb and it has been an exhausting day. Hopefully it won't result in another appointment with the mop, that would be the last thing you need.

"Injured?" he inquires. You shake your head reverently, ignoring the twinge in your wrist and pulling down your sleeve consciously.

"Get on" Levi then states, moving the horse so the stirrup faces you and holding his arm out to assist you. Sending him an exasperated look you think you can't ride with _him. _The thought of touching him just…it was a mixture of anxiety and want that roots you to the spot. Entirely inappropriate thoughts return in full force despite your feeble state.

"Unless you want to walk the next 30 miles back?" Levi presses.

You snap into action, as he removes his foot to allow you up. Clasping onto his firm arm you hoist yourself, trying not to let out a sound of anguish about your wrist or that you are internally melting in his presence. Lowering onto the saddle you are met with yet another dilemma as he pulls up his hood.

'_Where do I put my hands?'_

As soon as your rump hits the seat Levi begins to bolt off. Luckily your arms automatically latch around his middle, to which there is no reaction whatsoever thankfully. He continues to ride on oblivious to your exploding mind. The lean muscles of his back tease against your chest, slender form letting off a heat in the brisk air. You can feel it through his uniform, cape and especially…well…you _are_ sharing a seat. You curse yourself for the thought but his butt was pert, and his thighs strong. Being up against him with what was essentially your pelvis wasn't really helping your reeling imagination but the steady rhythm of the horse was distracting enough. After a while of focusing on it you sense your eyes lulling shut. You lean your cheek against his shoulder blade, tightening your grip as to not slip off in an artless manner. He casts his eyes back at you from under his hood but doesn't say anything.

* * *

The time back to HQ flies as fast as the air against your now flushed cheeks. You pass the lake near the castle, seeing it through dozy eyes. It shines with the final shreds of light, dancing on the water like some kind of illusion. You feel as light as the twilight upon its surface as you slowly regain your senses. Levi's steady form anchors you to reality as you emerge from the gap between consciousness and sleep. You begin fluttering your eyes open, entering the compound a few minutes later. Savouring the proximity for the few moments you have left, you rest your forehead against his back, committing the sensation of him to your memory. As his steed grinds to a halt you dismount, the presence of his body remains imprinted on you whilst you move. You don't want it to fade, nor his warmth from your chest. It was soothing, and had made you feel safe for the first time in hours. Echoes of the comfort from all those years ago flickering through your mind.

As your feet hit the floor you are greeted with the sight of Eren and that stupid animal. Your friend embraces you with consolation, clearly thankful to see you in one piece. You return it with all your heart, equally relieved to see his stupid face and big green eyes taking your presence in.

"Jean's been flipping his lid" Eren supplements as Levi unbridles his horse behind you "Where is _. We have to go look for _. What if _has been injured? He even argued with Oluo when the return to HQ order was given"

Eren sends you a suggestive eyebrow which you ignore out of fatigue and embarrassment. Heichou definitely _didn't_ need to hear this. You don't want him to think you're with Jean. Not that it'll make any difference to anything….how can you even entertain the idea that he'd be remotely interested, especially seeing how pathetic you were today.

_"And_ look who we found" he continues enthusiastically, motioning to the demon pony.

"There you are you piece of shit" you greet the animal sharply. It looks at you guiltily. Okay you are fried, a horse can't look at someone guiltily.

Eren chuckles "Are you hungry?"

At this your stomach rumbles and a faintness makes itself aware in your fingertips. Before you can reply the recently wordless Corporal decides to speak "Yeager back to your post, I want a word with _"

A painful silence fills the yard as Levi waits for an obedient Eren to be out of earshot, all the while with a look of contempt across his countenance. This wasn't going to be good.

"You could have been killed" he snaps, abrupt tone taking you by surprise. From what you have heard of him speaking it doesn't depart from a fairly reserved and level sound, even when he told you off he was controlled. This seemed…_different_. You aren't sure how to react so stand there dumb "You are _fucking_ lucky to be alive, you know that right?"

You nod ever so slightly, upset to have disappointed him. Heichou is enraged, you can feel it emanating from him. Not meeting his eyes you stare at his feet, ashamed. An exasperated sigh escapes his lips, he must have seen your lip quivering involuntarily.

"Just so you know I don't make a habit of going back for _anyone_. Let alone cadets." he informs you sternly, returning slowly to his usual composed tone. You want to question this but you think better of it; you've already inconvenienced him enough "Don't get separated from the group again or I'll have you moved to the garrison" he warns.

"It won't Heichou" you answer solemnly, feeling your ambitions slip away as each second passes.

Levi leaves you with an unaffected glare, or so you imagine as you still can't bring yourself to look him in the eye, before departing. Tears finally tumble down your burning cheeks as you are left in solitude. Kahini nudges your shoulder softly at your breaking point.

"Pull something like that again and you are gonna be glue" you blubber, trying to make light of your crumbling facade. The horse neighs, trying to get under your arm "I'll never make his unit now" you confide. She licks your arm affectionately and you stroke her in forgiveness. The irony that she decides to be on your side _now _briefly supplements your melancholy before dissipating into the night.


	8. Grin and Bear it

**Just wanted to thank the reviewers so far, you're keeping me going guys! So this one's for you Michlon, grandshadowseal, MillionPiecesOfTheSky, TheStoryTeller231, nugget-basket and Avexis-N7! Oh and my mysterious guest reviewer and all those who fave'd/followed so far… enjoy ;)**

* * *

Grin and Bear it

The next day is menial, sprinkled with interims of shame and exasperation.

"I told Eren we shouldn't have left you" Jean jabbers "But he didn't listen to me, of course-"

You nod politely, noticing the whispers that have seemed to be following you all day.

"Heichou found her wandering without her gear"

"Lucky kid, she'd have died being out there all night"

"Idiot, falling off her horse"

"I mean, if I could have, I would have gone back on my own. But nobody would come so-": Jean rattles off, still under the impression you are listening. You were to start with, it was sweet of him to care so much. Right now you mind was elsewhere, becoming more and more aware of how _everyone_ seemed to know what happened to you. You expect this from the Military Police but not the Recon Corps. Clearly you were under incorrect assumption they had more decency….apparently _everyone_ likes to gossip about other's misfortunes, mundane chatter taking their minds off the serious issues at hand…how lovely for them that it _happened_ to be you at the source of their trivial escapist nonsense.

You barge through the doors of the corridor and enter the dinner hall, a dark cloud formulating over your shoulders. Its getting progressively worse as this shit day gruesomely drags on.

"She lives!" Oluo greets sardonically, this is the first time he's spoken to you directly "Glad to see the titans didn't take a bite out of you half pint" he continues in a condescending manner, eyes wandering over you as you stand there.

"Thanks" you return dryly with the falsest smile you can muster.

'_Great, Levi's Unit think I'm a fucking moron.'_

* * *

A few more sarcastic comments come your way throughout the afternoon, deflating your spirit with each prick and making you feel like the dunce of the faction.

'_This is ridiculous, I_ _can't get caught short like this again. _ you ponder, head spinning toward Levi again as you continue doing high knees. Each motion has felt like a blade was being wedged into your forearm but you are better than complaining. It would only make you seem weaker than everybody supposes you are right now. Not to mention adding to the almighty crappy way this day was panning out. Just like the fact he's completely ignoring you, as he has done for the entirety of training…

Sighing, you come to the end of the final lap of training with your peers. Leaning on your knees, doubled over, your breath heaves. A good rest and the end of this day couldn't come soon enough! Regaining your strength you straighten, going to follow after Eren and Armin towards the castle.

"_" Levi calls as you go to make your way out the yard.

You turn to face him, a secret excitement bubbling within at his attention.

"Ten more circuits then perhaps you'll catch your horse next time, hm?"

He sneered the order, meeting your astonished gaze with a dead pan look of 'get on with it'. You nod, dragging yourself back toward him, attempting to gather what little energy you had in you. Levi decides to stand there in the middle of the courtyard as you continue your gruelling punishment - _brilliant_. You assume this is for his own masochistic kick, what else could it be for? Or maybe troubling him by having to got out after you.

Every passing step takes more and more effort, the sun setting as you come to your final set of press ups. Levi's hard and immovable gaze of scrutiny that has followed your movements all this time is now bearing down on your back, becoming heavier with each push. You grit your teeth, trying to ignore his unflappable presence. Any amorous feelings have been well and truly ground into the dirt, unable to envisage them as you rise and fall slowly.

Suddenly your wrist collapses beneath you.

"Shit" you whimper, clutching it.

A tired and bored sigh sounds from above you and within a few seconds Levi is squaring down to your level "Something you aren't' telling me?"

You blink rapidly, eyes moving up to his face after a detour. The first thing they happened to latch onto was…distracting, and making you more hot and bothered, if that were possible. Scampering up to a seated position your beet cheeks flush even further. Levi takes hold of your trembling hand carefully, regardless of your pink completion and without warning. Your (e/c) eyes settle on his concentrated expression and a yearning exhale resonates through you. Infatuation that you believed to have been driven out of you has now fully blossomed, more so in your face in the instant he inspects your wrist.

"You sprained it falling off that bitch of a horse didn't you?"

You swallow in silent admission, moving your head.

"You should have said" he tells you, not looking up, raising your hand precariously as though investigating the underside of an unturned stone "You have probably done more harm to it that could have been prevented"

Irritation interlaced his words, inspiring your pulse to quicken. He pulls up your sleeve to reveal the damage you've been concealing all day. His gregarious eyes glimmer with a thought he doesn't disclose. Captivated with this and his face for a second you drop your gaze, watching as his slender fingertips run over the delicate skin encasing your veins. He traces the purple pattern on your flesh like water lapping over silk. You remain stuck in the sensation, need in your aching body growing with each passing ministration.

"Sorry Heichou…I…I didn't want to appear weak" you confess, unable to stop yourself.

"Tch" is his response to this, clearly displeased "Your body is your best weapon, if you don't take care of it you may as well walk up to a Titan with a napkin saying eat me"

You half laugh at the bizarre image his statement conjures, biting your bottom lip as you do so. It directs his eyes to yours, and for a second he seems unsure of what to make of you. Not speaking, he releases your hand softly onto your knee and brings his to the base of his neck. You observe him inquiringly and soon realise he is undoing his cravat.

Stopping your eyes from widening as you spy the patch of flesh that was permanently hidden from public, you blink. You feel privileged to be able to see it; as smooth as the skin on his face and yet chiseled like an ancient marble statue. The contours of his neck draping to the edge of his collar bones. Levi doesn't see you staring as he has retaken your hand; preoccupied. He binds it in the delicate fabric that seems to be an extension of him, winding it securely around your bones and concealing the lurid mark in white. It's only as his Adam's apple moves with speech that you pull your glazed gaze to his face. He is peering directly into it, tucking the last of his support into a neat parcel.

"That should hold it for a few days" he assures placidly.

"Thank you, Heichou" you manage, taken back by the stark contrast in his actions and tone. So intimate and yet so distant. At this he rises, and leaves you alone in the courtyard for the second time in two days. This time a sense of resolution rests in your mind, rather than hopelessness. You touch the precise folds of the fabric dreamily, bringing your hand to your cheek. The scent of him, lingers and you can't quite find the words to describe it. It inspires the chagrin you've held all day to dissolve into a besotted smile.


	9. The Plan

The Plan 

That next evening you find your drive, it was somewhere between the near breakdown and your newly treated sprain. It didn't matter where…but part of you thinks it was in Levi's grey gaze. You aren't sure what to do as you announce your spark of determination.

"I need to prove myself" you state, not divulging where this sudden epiphany has arisen from. Rounding the corner toward the dormitories the person sharing your guard shift speaks.

"I'll help you" Jean offers, jumping at the chance to be of assistance "Do you want to go for a walk, talk it over by the lake…or something" he says, scratching the base of his neck "Catch the breeze"

"Uh…maybe Jean" you smile gently, considering the lake just outside the castle. The last time you saw it you were holding Levi. It felt like a distant memory, distorted by the beat of the horse and the fading light "Not tonight though" you divert, an idea promptly springing into mind "I've got some stuff to do. Thanks Jean!"

Grinning, you pat him on the arm before rushing off out to the stables.

"You're welcome?!" he calls after you, bewildered.

* * *

Jess is standing there when you arrive, filling up Shallot's feedbag. A look of uncertainty plagues his features as you explain your idea so enthusiastically you are bordering on babbling.

"I don't know" he says reluctantly, moving onward to Kahini.

She neighs with delight at the prospect of food, knocking impatiently at her gate with her hoof. Jess begins rooting into his pocket for something.

"Look, it will be at night. I need to get her less jittery" you start, embracing her head and smoothing her face "A few laps in the nearby fields and woodland will do her more good than harm" you endeavour. She rumbles through her nostrils, eyes focused on the Jess and not really appreciating your contact.

His lips wrinkle up in consideration, debating you and the horse.

"You heard what happened to me right?" you add, attempting a pity grant.

He smirks but it quickly dissolves as he realises the reaction was out of order. He pulls out an apple and feeds it to Kahini "Okay. Say I let you do this" Jess begins. You can't suppress your smile as he speaks "Not a word to Heichou" he conditions.

"I was counting on that" you agree as your horse polishes off her food contently.

* * *

**Next update tomorrow as I feel like I've short changed you with the length of this chapter, then again good things come in small packages don't they say? ahem Levi...**


	10. Progress

Progress

Week one: You have ended up in a hedge, a fence and a tree to date. Things aren't going as swiftly as anticipated with Kahini but you don't let that bother you. Next week will be better, perhaps an apple or two will persuade her to keep you on board?

Week two: No being flung into foliage…although there was an unexpected swim in the lake after Kahini brought herself to an abrupt halt at the water's edge. Your uniform was rather sodden as a result but your determination is not dampened.

Week three: The first ride where you are in control. Kahini trusts you and your instruction, adhering to your every whim. She even jumped a few fences without much encouragement. Progress was being made at last and it feels fantastic. Finally!

Riding on the joy of another successful evening in the moonlight you bounce into breakfast with a smile. You are chatty and sociable, a little tired too but do not let it show. Eren and Armin seem to be in heated debate about something as you take your customary seat beside them.

* * *

"What's up guys?"

"Heichou Levi will be choosing new members for his squad soon, extending it once we do the expedition outside the walls tomorrow" Eren informs you excitedly. Armin seems dubious at this. In all honesty you have been so wrapped up in training Kahini the expedition had slipped your mind. Making Levi's unit, however, had not. It had been there, ticking away at the back of your mind. The incentive had been turning over with every remounting of your horse after being thrown to the ground, pushing you harder and longer with every scrape and bruise you sustained.

"That means we're gonna lose a few if I ever heard it" Reiner commented from down the table.

"Don't be so negative" you dismiss "He probably wants a few more to strengthen the unit"

He shakes his head, going back to his breakfast.

"You are probably going to be selected" Armin then says, glancing quietly to Eren "He was told to keep an eye on you, you are his responsibility"

"I want to be selected on my worth, not on my ability to change form" Eren snaps, rising.

"That _is_ your worth" Reiner presses.

Eren pulls an angered expression, fist clenched. Instinctively you place a calming hand on his forearm. Stopping, he looks to you "_He _isn't worth your time" you whisper, indicating to Reiner "And Armin meant that in a purely logical sense, right? You are worth more as a soldier because of the ability" you try, hoping to avoid a blow out. Eren could be as short tempered as you sometimes. Well aware of this, you didn't want him to somehow spark a transformation right now. It would destroy half the castle, let alone dampen his chances of ever fighting again. That would truly destroy him.

"Yeah" Armin agrees quickly.

Eren pouts, sitting back down "I reckon you've got a shot you know" he confides after a moment.

"I dunno" you sigh, turning your attentions to your right hand. The ghost of Levi's cravat hovers around it, sparking your mind to thoughts of him. Discreetly you drop your spoon and put your hand into your trouser pocket, fingering the article. It is as you do this, out of the corner of your eye, you see Levi. He has a fresh cravat adorning his neck. You suppose you should have returned the thing by now but he hasn't requested it back, nor mentioned the circumstance surrounding it since. A piece of you is content at this, secretly wishing he had purposely given you this token. You know this is fanciful, but it had got you working hard so it couldn't be bad to put a bit more stock in it that you should. A small smirk blossoms on your face as you conceal the garment, going back to the table conversation.

* * *

That night you are on rounds again. Jean is oddly silent, staring out the window.

"So you haven't spoken in twenty minutes" you observe, wandering along side him. You enjoy your chats, every Thursday for the past month as you share the rounds. Patrolling the quiet castle had seen you swiftly become fast friends, learning further of each others beginnings and hopes for the future. He wanted to return to his family after the titans were destroyed, and start one of his own in the city. It was a humble existence, something you commented that you found appealing. You weren't sure what to say in reply the first time he asked you what you'd do once we were free from the titans, it had resulted in Jean letting his mouth run off, as usual. The lack of filter had resulted in a stuttering suggestion that you could join him. Come to think of it the rest of _that_ evening was pretty quiet too. However he'd not put his foot in it, nor had you said anything to upset him…he hadn't mentioned the walk by the lake he suggested either. You watch Jean softly, wondering what is wrong. His expression seemed fraught.

"Oh, right" he replies abstractedly "Just thinking about tomorrow"

You nod understandingly. It was the first time they would be outside the walls and anyone would be an imbecile not to be a little fearful. That was a relief, for a moment you thought something was truly wrong _with_ him.

"How's your wrist?" he asks, veering the conversation away.

"Better, it's a good thingHeichouwas there to save me in the first place" you reply, not mentioning the impromptu first aid incident. _That_ you kept close to your chest.

"You like Heichou, don't you?" Jean asks.

"I respect him. He rescued me" you counter quickly, hoping he didn't mean what you thought he meant. You had just managed to dispel all the horse related comments, you didn't need everyone thinking that you fancy Heichou…which you do…not that Jean would say anything but…you suspect he wouldn't like to hear it.

"I have great respect for him, and gratitude" he says with sincerity "I thought I'd lost you that day"

You gulp nervously as he flickers his hazel eyes down to the ground, this wasn't what you were expecting by any means "I should have argued with Eren more" he reprimands.

"Jean" you implore.

"It made me realise how precious this time is. As does tomorrow" he continues undeterred. At this he stops and entwines your hands with his. You look up into his soft ochre eyes, an odd feeling overcoming you. The contact is natural and comfortable as is your gaze settling in his. Yet, simultaneously, you feel displacement between your bodies, as though something wasn't quite right.

Perhaps it is thoughts of Heichou making this scenario feel off.

Inhaling sharply you stare at Jean, a little lost. Your emotions evade solidification within you. _Do_ you like him? You know he has taken a shine to you and you've been so adamant that you don't harbour feelings for the guy. But right now, standing here with him, after what he just said... you can't say for sure whether you fully believe your own convictions any more.

"Hey guys"

Sasha's smirking presence causes you to part.

"You're free to go _, unless...I'm interrupting something?" she pries with insinuation.

An involuntary blush fills your cheeks and you shake your head. You give Jean a soft smile which he returns silently.

"Night" is the only word you can locate as you walk away to your dormitory. The heat on your face contradicts your thoughts as you undress and get into bed. Habitually you reach for Heichou's cravat, bringing it to your face and fall asleep to its cooling effect on your skin, dreams slipping between Jean and _him._


	11. The 56th Expedition Outside the Walls

The 56th Expedition Outside the Walls

You mount Kahini comfortably, feeling confident about the battle to come. The feeling in the yard was the same as last time, except there was a blanket of pressure stifling the air. The fear was setting in, written over a few of the faces that passed by and in the quiet gatherings of people as they prepared for the day of head. They were grouped in pockets, dispersed among the passage of horses and gear, like rocks in a stream. They seemed to remain clustered for a little longer than usual, not dispersing. It was unnerving; Kahini agrees with you, bristling as you attach her bridle.

"Hey try not to fall off this time _-chan" Oluo calls, readying his own horse a few meters away.

You send him a searingly thin glare through the bustle, how _dare_ he call you chan.

"Ignore him, you'll be great" Jean assures, placing an assuring hand on your calf. You smile down to him, meeting his bright brown orbs. You feel a peace settle in your stomach at his touch and consider fleetingly that you could get used to this...whatever it was...

"Kirstein move these boxes!"

Levi's voice beckons from beside Olou.

'_When did he get there?'_

"Ride safe, yeah?" Jean implores.

"And you" you return.

"Kirstein!" he repeats, displeased.

Jean runs off to follow orders and your eyes cross with Heichou; he watches you for a moment or two, emanating his usual unaffected aura before turning his attentions to his horse. Perplexed you trot over to Eren and Armin, attempting to quash the distraction of him from your mind. Today was going to be different, starting with a clear head going into battle.

* * *

She's with you as you ride on the crest of the wind, Eren and Armin are not far behind as you race through the legs of a falling titan. Sasha lands to the ground on the other side of it, swiftly remounting her horse. It is then you spy Levi take down an abnormal singlehandedly in the middle distance. Watching in admiration of his skill, you see him looks to his 3DGM gear as he lands gracefully. You think nothing of it when suddenly, from within the trees a ten meter class emerges behind him.

He hasn't noticed.

'_Turn around damn it' _your mind wills with a pulsation, panic stricken.

Any previous instruction he had given you about remaining with your group is cast aside as he doesn't lift his head. A need to protect the man flourishes in your chest, capturing your mind.

"Kahini" you instruct. The horse's ears prick up as you turn to the left. You can hear the group calling after you but ignore it, soon outrunning them. They drop out of earshot, one by one. Briefly you flicker your gaze back, anxious to return it to Levi as soon as it parts from him. Eren and Armin have taken on a five meter class as Sasha leads off another.

"Come on faster" you urge with your heels, impending desperation to save an oblivious Levi surpassing that of returning to them. You register this, a little scared of how attached you feel to the soldier you hardly know. You swallow your fear, gaze narrowing forward. All sound is obsolete except for the pounding of your heart and Kahini's hoofs tearing through the grass. They seem to merge into a rhythm, making every extension of your body channel into a singular focus; him and him alone.

He has just turned and seen the titan, slowly stepping backwards in response with blunted blades to hand. No replacement is in sight or he would have changed them, or so you specualte. Your underlying fear is confirmed as you clear a fence; he would have propelled away if his gear was functioning. Your teeth grit in determination: twenty five yards away from the scene unfolding but the titan is ten from him. You clock two trees that are either side of your path and drop the reins, calmly un-sheathing your blades. Legs and trust in your stead keep you stable, racing toward the creature. You bob there for a few more seconds, biding them as you encroach; this has to be perfectly timed.

With courage in your heart you latch onto the two trees, propelling yourself forwards. Kahini breaks the gap between the beast and Levi, disrupting its reach. He ambles backward again, unregulated shock absorbing his features as the titan watches the horse, distracted from its prey. Meanwhile, your hooks clutch onto where its jugular would be. It cries out in pain, wailing as you whip round to the sweet spot at the back of its neck. Mercilessly you slash it with a roll, landing on the ground beside it.

You did it…you think. Heaving a few breaths, you manage to stabilise them whilst staring at the slain creature. Your (e/c) eyes lift instinctively to Levi, fraught with concern. It all happened so fast you didn't detect if he got out the way in time.

To your relief humanity's strongest soldier was still standing. His mouth, which was parted ever so slightly, shuts. He doesn't look surprised, just overly aware of his surroundings. Petra appears in that instant with another horse. His grey eyes meet yours and you nod at him. He returns the favour as Petra relays some information, not tearing his stoic gaze away. You can't help but feel a sense of ease explode with the adrenaline in your system, clashing and conflicting around your heart. Not only that, but he is staring directly at you and only you in the presence of someone else. Instantly you are transported somewhere else, no longer in the midst of a war zone but floating in among the dizziest of daydreams in the grey depths of his eyes

The moment is broken as Kahini comes up beside you with a nicker, ready to be remounted. It's as you swing your leg over her back that he calls your name.

"Heichou?" you answer.

"Go with Petra. Round up everyone who's still alive. We're done" he orders vehemently.

* * *

**Bam! Oh man, I felt so stressed writing that. I hate putting him in danger gahh! BUT you saved him, so it's all good! Things are gonna start kicking off now, so excited to post more...let me know your thoughts guys, any improvements or are we happy campers so far?**


	12. Rising

Rising

Thirty died.

The Recon Corps had arrived back as the sun rose, saturated with the blood of the fallen. It seemed to stain the ground crimson and draw all gazes low. Re-entering the walls there were no crowds to greet them, or more likely heckle, the mission had been planned so. It was deemed unnecessary to instigate a panic over nothing - that is what Levi had commented in the briefing before departing. Those words rung through your vacant chest, reverberating a rising rage against your ribs with each of your breaths. Is that what they had become…_nothing_? Fodder for the titans? None of your friends had 'died for humanity's struggle' but it didn't make the grief any easier to stomach, nor dispel the notion you were now existing on borrowed time. You had watched the back of Levi as you rode back, being only a few horses behind; all the while pondering what stock he held in his words. Was it the mission that was to come to nothing? Did they come and go as time passed, blurring into a monotonous occupation? It would suit his demeanour, his mannerisms, his unaffected gaze.

You did not like this thought.

Then was he referring to the casualties? It made you sick to consider it, not because of what it implied but that you would think that of him, be it fleetingly. He hated the loss of human life, despised it. You knew this. It was one of the few things you were certain of about the mysterious Lance Corporal. Ashamed of yourself, you bristle it away. Your anger was displaced, deciding it is your own fervour you are questioning but latching it onto one of his fleeting remarks. He probably meant it was unwise to unsettle the people in the walls, they knew nothing of the true horrors outside and would work themselves into a riot in their ignorance.

You return your gaze to Levi at this and wonder if the weight of the dead becomes easier to carry. He holds none of the physical strain that aches your bones in his posture, nor in his complexion. What is clear, as you ride back in silence, is that you had a lot to still get used to. You had to get a thicker skin and be more like Heichou. He had been hardened by this life, it was evident in his actions and being. It was something to aspire to in your _borrowed_ time.

You're glad you borrowed a little more on Heichou's behalf. That familiar relief swelled in your body as you considered his presence, watching his back. You made a promise to yourself there and then that you would always do that. This mission had affirmed many things in your mind; life was short and more perilous than you had ever let yourself believe and up you most definitely loved Levi Rivaille with every fragile second of it.

Reaching the castle there was no point in sleeping; the bodies needed moving and processing, gear needed repairs and everybody was shared the same disheartened sentiment for earning sleep just yet. The requirement to rest was met reluctantly, as though you all needed reminding through the horror etched into their silent expression. You could not speak for the others but you felt like a non presence, ghosting for brushing past death without a mark on your flesh.

* * *

The next morning you didn't have the emotional stomach to eat but were in need of sustenance. You were one of the first to rise and had watched people enter the food hall in drips and drabs, none of your close companions within them. Observing silently, it made you feel sick to think that people could wake up with a smile after yesterday, despite this being a day you had been anticipating for a long time. Today was the day: the list was going up. You move the now cold porridge around your plate apathetically, letting your gaze wander to the head table: Levi is talking to Erwin again. You watch, occupying yourself from your food until his eyes smoothly shift to you. You smile sheepishly, infatuation fluttering through your comatose and animating you slightly. He turns back to Erwin indifferently, you didn't expect anything else.

Deciding you are too morose to pretend to eat you abandon your breakfast only to feel a pair of hands on your shoulders. You bend your head backwards to see Eren's sparkling emerald eyes glistening at you.

"Why are you so happy?" you ask at his wide smile.

He doesn't reply but practically drags you out the room. It takes you a few seconds to register that you are going to the notice board in the corridor "We made it" he announces excitedly, indicating your names. He was right. Not only that, yours was the first one on the page.

_ _  
Eren Yeager  
Armin Altert

"Well done, _!" you hear as without warning Jean picks you up in a bear hug. You wince a little, a bit taken a back. His cheeks flush red as you don't respond, setting you back on your feet. It takes a second for your mind to catch up with itself. All the unsteady feelings from the previous evening swilling in your stomach as you look up at him.

"Thanks" you supplement awkwardly, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

"I'll see you later though, yeah? We didn't get to…talk…really" he continues, referring to the non conversation the previous day.

"Yeah" you assure, convincing yourself more than him.

He grins handsomely at you before being pulled away by Connie, Armin and Eren. They disappear and you simply stare at your name in the ink on the page, unable to escape the mixture of guilt for being pleased with yourself. The prospect of being near him set your heart a flutter.

"The hard work is just beginning, _. 6am tomorrow for manoeuvres" a familiarly firm voice informs.

You spin around to see Levi leaning casually against the wall, arms crossed. How long had he been there? Honestly, he had the lightest footing out of anyone you had encountered.

"Yes Captain" you reply, unable to contain a small smirk at enjoying the new way to address him.

"Well done kid" he responds cooly, pushing off the wall and catching his palm on your shoulder before walking off. You feel your heart pulsate at the contact, be it as fleeting as it was. You allow your goofy smile to take over your face as soon as his back is turned. However, it subsides as your register his words fully.

'_Kid? I don't think I like that.'_


	13. Levi's Unit

**Aw guys, I'm overwhelmed by the support for this fic! Thank you one and all, especially new readers and followers. I promise you there is so much more to come; you've inspired me majorly and this story is one for the long hall. So sit back, grab a cup of tea and enjoy! We are gonna have so much fun! Aha. This is a doozy in length, figured you guys deserved a big chapter for being so awesome.**

* * *

Levi's Unit

It was exhilarating to be training with such fabled warriors. It was tiring but worth it, your body would catch up you supposed. Each member of the unit had stories of legendary kills and insurmountable valour following their names and yet they treated you as an equal. Except for Levi; he was in charge after all. The rank inferred respect from his unit but you soon realise they behave a little more familiarly with him than the other cadets. A touch of contact exchanged here and there, giving him a smile that wasn't returned (obviously) or the occasional rolled eyes that were returned (obviously).

Yet, every time he catches your arm lightly or those steel eyes glide over yours, that gnawing feeling emerges. You've disguised it well, having to be so close to him all the time, but found it doesn't dispel the urges. He was increasingly becoming more and more intriguing and inviting as the days rolled past, new quirks to his personality appearing every now and then. He'd even cracked a joke at Oluo yesterday, admittedly it was at his dispense but it still inspired laughter from all. His expression and delivery was deadpan but a glimmer in his eyes implied jest. The devotion and care for his team was apparent and added kindling to the love you were nursing in your heart for him. You'd so far seen him in deep discussion with Mike and Petra, a familiar concern lacing his expression as he spoke; the kind you'd encountered when he tended to your wrist. You tried not to feel a quiver of jealousy as he addressed Petra. You knew it was ridiculous, you had no claim on the guy and they had been comrades for years so they were _familiar_….Petra was nice. You dispelled any irritation, not matter how frequently it itched you.

"That's it kid, excellent" Levi confirms in his usual flat tone; you landed a somersault critical hit to the titan dummy pretty darn well if you do say so yourself. The fact that Levi affirmed it made you smile at him contently. As you do so, you note how the light ebbing through the trees highlights his features in the softest of ways. Maybe you lingered there too long as his mysterious eyes remain on you for a second or two before turning away.

"Competition Ral" Olou notes at your newly perfected move, nudging her from their observation point on the ground.

"Shut up Olou" she returns.

"What is it?" you ask, looking to the pair. You hope you hadn't inadvertently annoyed her, that was the last thing you wanted.

"Ignore him. He's an ass" she informs, patting you on the back.

Perplexed, you send Oluo a look as he and Mike begin chatting, unsure of his manner. He's been pleasant enough to you since joining, yet his comments always seem to leave an unpleasant aftertaste. You hadn't quite worked him out yet other than he idolises Levi as much as Eren but is unwilling to admit it. You eye up the cravat on his neck; he doesn't pull it off with the same finesse as Levi.

"Yeager, you're up!" Heichou orders, pulling you from thoughts.

"Petra-san?" you begin nervously, edging closer to her.

"Mhm?" she answers, hands on her hips as she watches Eren disappear into the woods.

"Can I ask you something?" you continue quietly.

"What's up?" she smiles, bright ochre eyes meeting yours.

"I just wondered, forgive me if I'm out of line…I" you stumble, hesitantly. You are positive you sound like an idiotic child. It was just, you needed to know. Know if she and Levi…She gives you a soft look, cutting off your thoughts and intrigued by your low tones. Suddenly you are very aware how close Levi is. Your gaze flickers to him in the middle distance. He is staring after Eren, eyes thin and focused.

Petra's expectant look makes you speak "Are you and Heichou…you know" you cant bring yourself to say the words exactly. It is an afterthought that you hope he is out of ear shot.

She lets a light laugh roll from her lips "Oh_!" she giggles "No! Of course not, why do you ask?"

Well that was one hell of a relief. You weren't really sure what you would have done if the answer had been otherwise.

"You just seemed close and-" you exhale.

"Precisely, _too_ close" she interrupts with a bounce to her words.

'_Well what does that mean?' _

You frown unwittingly and clocks it, a knowing look absorbing her face. Her golden eyes go to Levi and then you, shuffling nearer to you and dipping her head to your ear. She speaks in a whisper "If you must know…I am betrothed to a man in my village, a childhood friend…" Petra divulges, joy and doting resting on her lips "just between us girls hm?"

She nudges you with a look of inference. The newfound glimmer and mischief in her eyes speak volumes and there she goes again, darting them between you and Levi "I won't tell, if you won't"

The trust between you inspires a small grin, it was a good feeling to be having a girly chat. It had seemed like eons since you had a true female friend. Sasha was great, but something told you Petra was going to be closer, like a sister.

He must have felt the weight of her stare as he turns to look at you both, brow lowering as though attempting decipher what is going on.

'_Shit'_

"If we are _done_ with the mother's meeting you are up Ral" he orders as Eren lands a foot shy of him. He does not flinch, the rush of air disturbing his hair with a breeze.

Petra gives you a smirk before sauntering over, shooting off with her 3DMG gear.

"How was that Heichou?" Eren asks excitedly.

"Acceptable shitty brat" he notes, distaste disturbing his placid tone.

Eren's reaction seems like he told him he was fantastic as he practically skips toward you…well walks, his joy was written all over his face. You smile back at Eren with some of the happiness left over from your talk with Petra, eyes drifting to Levi. He is watching you again, observing the two of you with a suspicious air.

You blush. Oh no you _blushed. _ He has noticed: his eyes wandering over your flushed cheeks. An attempt to calm it only results in the heat becoming redder, prickling your blood vessels. You feel faint, all you can think of the feel of his back against you, his touch on your hand. Those eyes staring into yours. They have latched on to yours now quite directly. A rough inhale, fills your lungs as your pulse quickens. You rip from his gaze just as Petra lands. His head casually goes back to her.

"Good" he sort of dismisses, voice not indicating anything as usual.

"Are you okay? You look a bit..hot and…tired" Eren comments worriedly.

"Mhm" you waver with a weak smile, trying to stabilise your body. Luckily it was now the end of training, the first chance you get you head to your dormitory and collapse on your bed. Maybe sleep would remedy your flustered state.

* * *

"Mama!" you scream.

You run from the earthquake, faster and faster, tripping over yourself and crying. Your face is wet, your balance distorted. Shades of forms envelope the sky and all the light around you. Then, materialising from the darkness he arrives. You reach out a small hand, a pressure curls around your middle and you are lifted from the ground "I want you to go somewhere safe" his voice echoes.

"I want you _" Levi growls.

Suddenly your village has vanished and you are in the castle, you note your uniform as his grip on your waist tightens, your bodies flush.

"Levi" you rasp, grabbing him by the cravat and pulling him in for a deep kiss.

He takes hold of you with greater purpose, pushing you up against a wall and dominating your mouth with his. His ebony hair brushes against your forehead and that scent fills your senses. His body is firm, pinning you there. Solid. Hot. Hungry. You clasp his shirt with bunched fists, his heat against your pelvis setting you alight.

* * *

Your hands are clenched into fists, clutching at the bed sheets. You lift your head with a start, panting. As another bead of sweat rolls down your forehead, it becomes clear you are clammy all over, your body tense as piano wire. Uncertainty of your surroundings rumbles through you in the relief that is consciousness. It was dark. Realising you are still in uniform and in your room from the afternoon, you get up and grab your 3DGM gear. Almost without thinking, your feet carry you the stables.

Kahini nickers to your presence and you smooth her tenderly before going to wander off. A sharp reverberation of wood sounds.

"Not tonight girl" you soothe going back to her "I want to be on my own for a bit".

Your friend is displeased at this news until you produce the apple you swiped from the pantry cupboard on the way here. Must have been there out of habit; you hardly recall the walk here, let alone the pantry stop. All of a sudden, as she eats the treat in two bites, is satisfied and isn't so eager to go off on another twilight adventure "You did good" you tell her, giving her mane an additional tousle before she turns away to sleep.

Sighing, you look up out the stables and to the starlit sky. It's a bit brighter than usual and you decide that the roof of the gear stores looks rather inviting in the moonlight. Perhaps you can unwind up there. Within seconds you've attached your gear and propelled yourself up onto the out building and take a seat. It really was beautiful out here, being so far from Sina the stars looked magnificent. The moon hovered just over wall Rose and, in the distance, the vague black form that was Wall Maria. You look to the shape that could be mistaken for mountains, recalling that past the redundant defence lay the bodies of your fallen comrades.

Your emotions surface with a bubbling haste; you should be so happy but feel miserable. You got your promotion and you're alive for Maria's sake. Distractedly you pull out Levi's cravat from your pocket, it goes everywhere with you, keeping your hands busy as you sit sometimes, thinking. Of him, of your undisclosed lack of feelings toward Jean…you still hadn't had a chance to talk with him as they days have been long and training hard. You _need_ to speak with him you resolve.

This wasn't the first time you had woken in a panic, body stressed and aching. You mainly put it down to training harder and the 56th expedition. Things hadn't seemed the same since then, you felt as though you were fraying under the pressure of your own thoughts. Your nightmares of childhood frequented your dreams once more, you still hadn't spoken to Jean and on top of that were the thoughts of Levi…and well…they, they didn't help.

With that a hiss of gas and a light drop of weight onto the tiles distracts you from your thoughts.

You look to your left.

There in all his enigmatic beauty; Levi.

Just his presence makes you aware of your mounting fatigue, shaking your nerves into life. Having slept for over ten hours didn't appear to have improved your situation; if anything his effect on you seemed intensified.

"I've been wondering how you got that damned mare to behave" he comments abstractedly "Jess let slip you'd been running her at night" he continues addressing your suspicious expression as he walks over.

"Sorry, I just didn't want a repeat of the first mission" you explain, expecting a reprimand that never comes. He raises a hand, waving the issue off wordlessly. You shove the material into your pocket, as he encroaches, considering his response.

'_I suppose if I hadn't trained her he may not be here right now. In the scheme of things me doing nocturnal horse training isn't exactly a big deal.'_

"Is this seat taken?" Levi inquires, indicating the space beside you with a lift of his chin.

"Free roof" you suppose aloud, a little more rudely than you intended. But this was your alone time he was invading. You return you eyes to the moon and can sense the weight of his stare on your face. It actually seems to be harbouring that genuine concern as he lowers himself beside you and his mouth tightens in consideration "You look exhausted" he notes matter of factually.

"Gee, _thanks_" you return, running a hand through your hair self-consciously, sarcasm dripping from your words. Hopefully he put your panic attack/burst of infatuation down to that too, if he even noticed. Who were you kidding, of course he did, he was watching you as you wound yourself up into an internal fit.

"Is everything…" he stops "Are you…"

'_Is he asking how I am?'_

"I'm _fine_" you grit, making a point of not looking at him. You don't know why you suddenly feel pissed off, especially at him. He was only being curious, he had no inclination of the issues he was causing you. The issues you were causing yourself more like.

"I've said that enough times to know its a lie" Levi divulges, changing tack and joining your moon watching. He is allowing the silence to sit. He was good at this from what you had observed. The other person would submit first, they always did. It was testament to his control and patience if anything.

"I just…I can't sleep" you start, approaching the analysis of yourself with confusion, fully aware that you had just given in.

'_You keep interfering with my dreams'_

His eyes don't move from the moon, you can sense he is processing your response. It only takes a second or two before he replies, head remaining forward.

"All not well with Jean?" he concludes flatly, eyes sliding toward you.

"Jean is fine. Why should that interfere with my sleep?" you ask defensively, turning to him. That was such a bizarre thing to say! For _him _to say.

"I'd rather not discuss that…uh…perhaps Ral may be a better pers-" he replies stiffly, eyes darting away from yours. Clearly this is what Levi is like out of his comfort zone. It was quite humorous to witness. You imagine this is the closest to him becoming flustered you were ever going to be privy to experience. It is after a second or two you work out what he was thinking and feel your cheeks dusting pink.

"Oh _god_...no...not that" you stifle, amused and embarrassed. He seems as relieved as you feel, shoulders softening and recapturing your stare. Did he think that was what you and Petra were discussing?

'_Well, he wasn't far off, I'll give him that' _

"I just keep seeing them, getting destroyed" you begin soberly, interrupted train of thought returning. You decide there was no need to tell him how your nightmares now do a 360 and end up as lust driven fantasies about him.

"It's only natural" he offers, dropping your gaze and surveying the sky. He leans back on his palms, allowing a leg to follow the slant on the roof. This thigh leans ever so slightly onto the toes of your boot and his fingertips settle a breath away from your seat. You find your gaze drifting up the length of his body as he readjusts, admiring his lean body. You have to remind yourself that you definitely didn't say the last bit; his reaction would be somewhat different. Judging by his previous rambling…yeah you have no clue how he'd take an admission like _that._

"You've changed a lot since then, if that is any consolation" Levi analyses, eyes now wandering over you "Stronger. More resilient"

Your brow furrows at the compliment, forgetting you were practically ogling him "You…what?"

Meeting his face with your distracted eyes, you see him raise an eyebrow cockily. He's a smarmy git… he's known all along, hasn't he? He truly was a complex and brilliant bastard. Tactical; you should have seen this coming. As bad as people assumed he was with social interaction he was truly a master at it. He just happened to be playing the game too well for anyone to realise, getting what he wanted out of it rather than allowing for an even playing field. It worked. It definitely worked on you…the fact that he was so indifferent only seemed to make you want him more after all, not that _that _behviour was intentional.

"Thanks" you reply, not needing a verbal confirmation of him knowing exactly who you are or were "Thanks for that day too" you add with reverence. His gregious orbs cross your own (e/c) "You know, you're the reason I wanted to join the Recon Corps" you admit sheepishly, curving your shoulders in, your own wrists rubbing against each other.

He seems to like something you said as the smallest of smirks tugs at the corner of his mouth. You have never seen him sincerely pleased before, or seen him share it. All of a sudden, as you look at his lips, you realise how close your proximity is. Levi is _so_ close right now and you can't bear to tear your eyes away, or your mind from the idea of kissing him. What would those lips feel like? You've glanced at them for so long but have never fully experienced their allure, the slight curvature of his mouth teasing you and terrifying you all at once. The prospect of making the contact instills anxiety whilst encouraging the deep rooted want in your chest to move nearer. You don't move out of fear, out of logical reasoning and deciding you are too tired to make a coherent decision.

"Heichou. Jean and I aren't together. He just thinks we are" you explain, not fully aware of your motives. Letting the words rest on your tongue you are at ease with the statement a truth ringing in it. At this you decide that he needed to know and that is why you said it. Your feelings will remain unmet and that is the reality of your situation. You would rather live in constant devotion to the man beside you rather than experience a constant 'what if?' with Jean. Continual longing seems more right in your heart than falsifying intention with your friend. You know your admission changes nothing; his unflappable demeanour or response doesn't disappoint.

"It doesn't effect me either way" Levi replies, rising "Do set him straight though" he pauses "for everyone's sake" at this he gives the moon one last glance "Try and get some rest, it doesn't do well to linger on the past cadet" Levi adds, voice shrouded in ambiguity as he walks away and dismounts the roof.

You spend a further hour up there, attempting to organise your muddled mind. With no resolve reached you give in to his advice and head to bed.

* * *

**Ohhhhm. Let me know what you think? Its all going to get bumpy from here! **

**Oh and grandshadowseal, you inspired the shitty brat comment btw :)**


	14. Oluo is an Ass

Oluo is an Ass

A few days pass and things seem to be on the up, you manage to sleep after your chat with Heichou. You still haven't crossed paths with Jean and that wears on your mind slightly; it seems your rotas and timetables don't coincide anymore. You asked Heichou about swapping a cleaning chore with Eren and he just gave you that pointed look of denial. You obviously didn't bring up the conversation you intended to have. That would be…well… an inappropriate request, despite the moonlit heart to heart. Perhaps he didn't even remember the conversation. That thought weighed a sadness upon your heart The mor you considered it. He treats you the same. Nothing has changed, not really...

Part of you, in spite of logic and reason, hoped things had.

'_So much for setting Jean straight'_

"No luck" you tell Eren.

"Told you" he reminds, shuffling the cards "Why do you want to swap again?"

"I need to talk to Jean" you admit as he deals.

"Oh?

His eyebrows jump up his forehead.

"No. No. Quite the opposite" you assure, a guilt of what you were going to say settling uncomfortably in you throat.

He sends you a disbelieving glance as you survey your cards.

"Look" you start, placing them back down and staring him straight in the eye "I'm going to tell you something but you have to keep it to yourself"

So there it goes, you tell him about the roof conversation. Skipping details where necessary, he didn't need to know you love your commander.

"What does that mean?" you end, going back to your hand, biting on your lip dubiously as you place a card down. A prolonged silence passed and you tear your eyes away from the cards. Eren is scratching the base of his neck, pulling a face "the last bit is pretty standard mysterious Heichou"

"The _other_ bit dumbass" you sigh, was that all he was going to say?!

Another long pause occurs and he begins scanning his cards and evading your gaze.

"Well" he finally begins, not looking up from his own hand.

"Well what?" you press impatiently, looking at him in a way as though to rush his turn along. Eren meets your gaze fleetingly before chucking an ace of spades down.

"You must have noticed how-?" he attempts before you cut him off.

"Noticed _what_? Spit it out Eren" you order, placing your card.

"Well...you are a girl..." you tease out of him.

'Well done for stating the obvious'

"So is Sasha, Petra and even _Hange_" you snap a little sarcastically, "What is your point?"

"Um...you look more..._shapely_, since we were trainee recruits" he ends, pulling another awkward face.

"I'm not _shapely_..." you dismiss, vexed.

"Look, I love you like a brother. So this is weird to talk about" Eren practically winces.

"So what did 'for everyone's sake' mean?" you question irately "Heichou isn't a friggin' matchmaker" you hiss the last part so only he is privy to it.

You cannot believe what Eren is saying. You don't really understand what Eren is saying, you still felt like the child that has been saved from the jaws of death, despite what Levi had said and despite whatever the hell Eren was on about. You know Jean has a soft spot for you but...did this mean that the guys _like_ you?!

Before Eren can speak another voice sounds.

"You've got a nice rack and an that ass hasn't gone unnoticed" Oluo comments in passing, interjecting.

What was this?! You feel a bit violated in all honesty, you should have felt a bit of a confidence boost from what Eren was suggesting but it wasn't sitting right with you.

"Hey!" you retort, up on your feet and slamming down your cards: the game was over.

"I was winning" Eren mumbles "But never mind"

"It's not a bad thing kid" he adds, crossing his arms and watching you. He's only a year older than you, so where does Olou get the gall to say such a thing? Was this what he was referring to in training?

"It is when you say it like that!" you argue in a huff.

"I'd give you a go if you weren't such a-"

You don't let him finish. Whatever he was going to say was not going to be a compliment. A sharp smack reverberates from his cheek when lo and behold Heichou comes in. _Great_.


	15. Consequence

**I actually love you all. You are so lovely with your reviews, follows and faves! So thank you! New chapter after this one tomorrow morning…ah I'm so excited!**

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Consequence

"As amusing as I find this, _. You didn't have to hit him. I'm going to have to give you cleaning duty" he stated, reclining back into his chair "as much as we all want to, it's something that isn't permitted….he'll apologise kid"

There he goes again with _kid._

If you weren't part of his unit you imagine this would have gone a lot differently. You and Oluo had been frogmarched out by the scruffs of your necks and to Heichou's office. Wordlessly, he had simply deposited you outside, continuing onwards with the idiot. He had spoken to the shit head first before calling you in. Said shit head had just been dismissed, muttering to himself and refusing to look you in the eye as he storming off down the corridor.

So here you were. Standing before him expecting the rollocking of your life…you were practically wincing at the thought; you'd heard stories about the usually passive Captain being enraged, apparently the experience being something along the lines of facing a 15 meter class with a stick….yet, you hadn't heard him shouting at Oluo through the door and as his chair creaks a little, and he continues staring at you with a faint look of amusement, you begin to think that the dressing down is never going to come.

With his ankle hitched onto one knee and pressed palms propping up his chin, Levi surveys you "On a semi professional note; you have good aim" he adds in an undertone.

You shoot him an incredulous glare from the opposite side of the desk and he chuckles. Did you make him _chuckle_?

"How long?" you ask, peeved and bewildered.

"Until the dinner hall is clean" he informs, still looking at you with that annoyingly bemused expression. Honestly, you would rather have him tell you off and be done with it, rather than this…okay you don't know why he is so relaxed about the situation. He was one for regulation and following the rules, surely he would have relished the chance to discipline someone?

"Perfect. _Just_ what I need" you utter, not really caring if he heard or not as you leave without permission.

"Funny, I didn't think you would be one to take unkindly to male attention" he comments ambiguously.

"Only to unwanted male attention Captain" you reply thoughtlessly, throwing him a look over your shoulder. You didn't mean to but you eye him up and down. It is then you realise what you are doing and what you just said. He confirms your blunder with a flicker of something passing through in his stoic gaze.

_Shit_.

You readjust your stance, excusing yourself in a fluster.

* * *

"I'm such an idiot. What is wrong with me?!"

You sigh.

"Get a hold of yourself and...it'll all blow over...oh bugger it."

You've been uttering such musings for the past few hours. Finding yourself becoming more and more disheartened and embarrassed by your faux pas. You dunk a sponge into the bucket of soapy water at your side, giving it a rather excessive squeeze before splatting it back on the ground. Readjusting yourself on your knees you continue washing the floor. It is at this two boots appear in your field of vision, interrupting your self deprecation.

"Fuck off Oluo" you say, not even bothering to look up as you scrub.

He didn't move.

"Hey didn't you _hear_ me fuck face?" you seethe, stopping and looking up.

Turns out your eyes didn't have to travel far to find a face. Unfortunately, it was because the visitor wasn't the near 5"6 you were expecting but Levi, as confirmed by the torchlight dancing in his silver eyes.

"Heichou" you breathe. You just called your commanding officer fuck face. You want to smack yourself _in the face_. Rubbing your hands on your thighs nervously you wipe away the suds, a blush forming in your face.

"You swear like a shitty sailor" he comments unaffected.

You are taken a back that he let _that_ slide. Earlier...well that was marginally out of line in comparison to insulting him so rudely. You huff it off, this was just another thing to add to the mounting list of things that perplexed you about Levi.

"Well, if you hadn't noticed I'm a bit _pissed_ _off_" you reply, not really caring to be polite as your hands start to ache.

"I daresay your speech is as dirty as the floor" he mentions lightly, condescendingly. It sent a shiver through you. You dismiss your bodily reaction just keep working. He waits for your response and you continue to ignore him petulantly "Why are you still scrubbing?" Levi continues after a moment.

"Orders are orders, _sir"_

_"_If I knew it would take you this long I wouldn't have bothered. It was more for show really" he divulges.

_'For show? Four hours…for show. Who's bloody show?'_

You take charge of the red flush of your cheeks, anger boiling your blood. You have had enough of men today; this is the last straw and you cast down the sponge irately.

"It amuses when you're flustered kid" he elaborates, crossing his arms, analysing you with that same glint of enjoyment shinning in his eyes.

'_Hang on what?'_

"I thought I swore like a shitty sailor two seconds ago?" you retort.

You stand up to meet his eyes, which you do, nearly. Hands on your hips expectantly.

He looks at you challengingly, not saying anything. It crosses your mind, as you face one another, if he is waiting for you to do something? But this dwindles into nothing as your ire sets into your body. God you _hate_ him right now and yet still want to grab him and kiss him senseless. That would shock him wouldn't it? He is so frustrating on so many levels.

"I take it I can go to bed now?!" you resign through gritted teeth.

Levi nods, keeping something to himself in his now impervious gaze.


	16. Admission

Admission

He was a mind fuck. Literally. It just so happened that ironically, _in_ your mind, you literally wanted to…_never_ mind.

You didn't get any sleep again.

You feel ratty, _again_.

This is _stupid_.

You just want to ride Kahini away from everyone and everything: solitude and sleep.

This porridge isn't at all inspiring you to remain put either.

As you move it around the bowl you entertain the idea of escaping. Is that what you yearn more than anything right now? Maybe even Levi? Scratch the last part…his odd behaviour makes you want him all the more, _damn_ Heichou getting himself rooted firmly in your brain. It is at this you remind yourself you hate him for making you clean for no apparent reason and what's more the look in his eyes as you excused yourself. It was haunting your thoughts, lulling your them into dangerous territory. _Everyone. _That was what he said, _everyone's sake_. Did that include him? You had been running that quandary through your head so much that you could feel it boring through your skull, just like that mysterious look. You didn't want to get your hopes up for them to be most certainly dashed; to be cut down as elegantly and swiftly as he would a titan.

Rising through irritation, and abandonment of your breakfast, you are greeted with a rather sheepish looking colleague.

"_" Oluo begins with a smile, scratching the back off his neck awkwardly "I'm glad I caught you"

You stare up at him with your best 'well what is it?' glare, something you'd unknowingly picked up from Levi. Folding your arms across your chest, you take in his embarrassed complexion, kind of enjoying it. He gives weight to the metaphor of a dog with its tail between its legs along with his scorned eyes and distant tone.

"Look, I'm really sorry" he manages "I didn't mean to disrespect you like that"

His deflated demeanour and the slight red imprint of your hand ruffles your impervious expression.

"Sorry I hit you" you grumble "you caught me at a bad time"

"We're even then?" he attempts.

You nod, giving him an assuring touch on the arm. Oluo seems relieved at this "I won't try to compliment you again" he chuckles in his usual manner, suddenly at ease "You hit like a bloke" he adds, stretching his jaw out and walking off to get food. You turn to watch him, rolling your eyes. It is at this you catch sight of an onlooker; Levi is watching from the doorway. You send him a glare because you can and don't grace his reaction with attention. As a result your eyes happen to latch onto Jean, entering the room behind him.

"Hi stranger" he smirks, strolling up to you "I hear you've been causing trouble"

"Hi" you smile, a proper smile, ignoring his teasing comment. You don't know why but you fling your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. Jean is warm. He doesn't ask what's up. He just returns the embrace tightly. Turns out you feel a lot better for it, in spite of your settled decision from the previous day simultaneously disturbed and at this moment.

"Thanks, I think I needed that" you tell him, pulling back.

He grins at this "Anytime, _"

Your smile saddens a little as Levi's voice echoes in your head from your first training session. You shake it off "I'll catch you later, yeah?" you excuse. You see he looks hopeful, which puts you into a newfound turmoil as to what you are going to say. Leaving the room you note that Levi's gaze is on you once again but disregard it.

"That was shit _, again " he orders curtly.

"What have you done?" Armin asks in a whisper, this is the third time Heichou has had you complete the training course today. Eren sends you a weary expression and even Oluo looks a bit sorry for you.

"No clue" you seethe, staring at the back of his head before running past him and shooting up into the air, _again _and not saying anything. Perhaps it was the smart-assing last night. Or the PDA at breakfast that definitely wasn't a PDA - so he had no reason to be angry. Why would he care about that anyway? He essentially said it was none of his business a few days ago. You knew you weren't on form today but seriously this was _his _fault. You were distracted because of _him. _

Petra greets you a comforting look as you land, sending Levi and unimpressed glare. He catches her and his impassive face sets further.

"Ral. A word" he bites, steel eyes narrowing on her and not even bothering to comment on your performance.

You hope you haven't got her in trouble as you all take it you are dismissed; Levi most certainly wasn't in a gaming mood.

* * *

That night you skip dinner and go straight out for a ride on Kahini to cool off. It helps, marginally, but as soon as you ride past the bloody lake your mind begins reeling once more. It dawns on you, as the stars flicker and float on its surface that you can't escape the feelings for Levi, no matter how far you run. They are deep and underlying like the water, remaining there as much as the growing resentment you harbour for the man. Unbridling Kahini and carrying her saddle to the stores, an idea comes to mind in the form of the human hand to hand training dummies.

"I'm not a child" you grit.

**Thump**

"I'm not a piece of _ass_"

**Thump**

"I am _not_ interested in Jean"

**Thump**

"And I am most certainly not here for your amusement, Levi!"

He is impressed you heard him coming in, the slight tilt of his head gives this away. It was like a sixth sense now, knowing when he was near. Your body just seemed to go into overdrive, loosing itself in heart palpitations and constricted breath. He approaches you and you turn your focus back on the humanoid punchbag, imagining it to be his perfect face.

'_Stupid. Perfect man. Fucking annoying bastard because he is too stupid to see that I love him.' _

There is a thin line between love and hate and it is clear that Levi is right on it, _agonisingly_ so. As he enters your vicinity you can feel that his off-handed disposition from the day had dissipated, _slightly._

"Is this because I call you kid?" he tests, trying to work you out like a puzzle, eyes narrow and words tinged with sharpness.

"No" you pout at his perceptive comment, a bead of sweat rolling down your cheek. You pull back your fist, allowing a moment to pass "_Yes…Partially_" you reel, flickering your sharp (e/c) eyes at him for a second. You resume to jab at the dummy. Out of the corner of your eye you see Levi is visibly intrigued, his eyebrow lifted and surveying you curiously.

"You want to tell me what all this is about?" he asks plainly.

"And that!" you explode, throwing your leg at the _inanimate_ dummy's head.

He blocks the kick with his forearm effortlessly, taking hold of your ankle and setting it down slowly. His grasp is firm. It isn't helping. Neither is the feeling that he is irritated that he had to do exert the energy to do that.

"I think the dummy has taken _enough_ hits for the team" he comments in monotone. You prick up an eyebrow, a fury still abiding in your features.

"Look at me" he states.

At his casual instruction you meet his eyes reluctantly, silence settles succinctly to your breath "It's not something…_hormonal_, is it?"

You roll your eyes at his stupidity; for such a keen and penetrating mind he was still a man. Not as bad as Oluo but then again, who could be as bad as Oluo? Actually, Oluo had a redeeming feature, he apologised, even if he was _forced_ to it still counted in his favour. Even though it was Levi who had made him do so, it did not distract you from the fact that his _own actions _were another matter.

'_He is oblivious. Oblivious and wonderful and infuriatingly close whilst being so far out of reach'_

"Why are you here?" you utter, disbanding your internal monologue.

"When Ral was done _chastising_ me for making you repeat the circuit today" he began, pausing with indignation "I asked her what was concerning you, she suggested I speak with you" he ended, as though giving a diagnostic rather than a care in the world.

Your eyes widen regardless. It was bizarre that he had asked Petra about you. What's more that Petra had told him off. Well, the second part had some reasoning given that she knew about your feelings for him but his behaviour?

"Oh so you've come to apologise for that?" you remark flippantly. He gives you a look that leaves no discrepancy that he does not regret his decisions, it undermines your confidence, provoking you to shift your weight on your feet "What did she say…exactly?" you ask, attempting to conceal your fear with irritation and indifference.

"That I should consider opening my eyes" he informed, surveying your evasiveness and clearly still irked by Petra's cryptic statement "From your admission to the training equipment I take it this isn't just about Kirstein or Olou"

'_Oh God'_

Had he worked it out? This is what you want more than anything and yet it scared you. What if he rejected you?

'_Petra why have you done this?!' _

"I can only speculate the rest is me" he informs softly but firmly "…so talk" he orders, crossing his arms expectantly and leaning against the dummy.

Your lips part a little, allowing a meek breath the escape you.

"I _know_ it won't make any difference so what's the point" you sigh, exasperated. You can feel yourself welling up at this admission. Verbalising what was inevitable just made it more real. You are taken by surprise when a pair of hands cups your face. Oddly, he is undeterred by the dewy sweat covering your skin; you imagined he would be adverse to such contact. His skin is supple, the sensation soothing. He wipes the stray tears away softly with the pads of his thumbs. Why was he choosing now to be so nice? Perhaps he and Kahini would get along with their ill timed support.

"Sorry" he says, eyes fishing for yours "For anything I have done"

You exhale tearfully as he moves his hands to your upper arms. His touch is gentle, yet solid enough as to convince you he is the only thing holding you up, despite being the one that was breaking you down emotionally. You want to melt into a pile and cry but he is there, keeping you in one piece whilst simultaneously tearing you apart.

"Now tell me what else...and none of that defeatist bullshit about it making no difference" he states in a low voice, a spark of sentiment in his silver gaze. You half laugh, fully meeting his newly formed smirk. His grey eyes are encouraging and his grasp tender and lingering. You find your mouth at a loss and know you can't leave his gaze without speaking the words bleating through your wasted heart. As soft as Levi's slate stare was, it was sitting on a foundation of adamance; he wasn't going to move until you spoke.

'_Now or never'_

If you harbour this any longer its going to destroy you and besides, a chance like this will not arise again. You exhale shakily, immersing yourself into his silver pools and taking the plunge. He takes another step closer, anticipating intense stare immovable. The neared proximity eventually coaxes the words out of your reluctant mouth.

"I love you"


	17. Unexpected

Unexpected

His eyes widen a fraction.

Other than that there was no reaction you could discern and it had been precisely ten seconds since you told Levi what has been on your mind for weeks.

"See, no difference" you mumble weakly, shrugging him off and going to walk away, scorned.

Just as you part from his contact a hand clasps onto your wrist, claiming it. Halted in your tracks, your watery (e/c) eyes run along the joint limbs, following the line of his arm to him. Your shocked expression drops, after all, who else were you expecting it to be? All is still as the heat of his skin permeates into you, your heavy eyes resting on him. Levi is focused on a spot on the floor, maintaining a tense grip on you, arm outstretched rigidly. If it weren't for the minute rise and fall of his shoulders you would have thought him frozen. He steadily lifts his head, revealing a pair of despairingly intense eyes. They are so set on meeting yours that the motion seems abrupt; the connection nearly knocks the breath out of your lungs.

Slowly, silently, he tugs you toward him, reeling your body closer and refusing to let your gaze drop from his.

"It makes every difference" Levi says quietly, supple stare dancing over your face as it is brought ever nearer to him.

Before you can respond, mentally or verbally, he silences you with his mouth, clashing with purpose. His grip on your forearm tightens and you find your free hand automatically curl the around his neck. He bites on your bottom lip as your body comes up lightly against his. This was ludicrous! You let out a gasp, lips jilting apart as he pulls your body flush to his in response. Smouldering eyes, like liquid mercury, seep into yours and suddenly you are aware of the steady rise and fall of his chest that is pressed unashamedly against your own. His other hand affirms this, splaying across your lower back. It is as though not even an atom separates you and it is enchanting, _he_ is enchanting.

"_" Levi whispers your given name in the roughest of tones, his voice raw and wanting, matching the longing in you. It sets your pulse into overdrive as your pupils dilate, his stare becoming dark and sultry, blackening with his own thoughts. That heat that had grasped your hand was now seizing your entire body, lead by the way he said your name and the look in his eyes. It races through your veins, ravishing your nerves and riddling you. He releases your arm, fingertips unwilling to yield from your flesh as his hand joins the other on your hips. Iron eyes dart to your mouth before returning to your own. You don't let him speak as you go to kiss him back, deeply.

Levi obliges and you manage to provoke a low growl out of him, now clinging to his chest tightly. Your tongues invade one another's mouths without reservation. You want his shirt gone, you just want to get at him: the man you saw in the moonlight, the one you had saved you in so many ways, the one who was inspiring your erratic and longing heart. The noise only urges you on further, dragging your palms up his sturdy neck and burying your fingers into his raven hair. His skirt up your frame as you do so, spreading over your shoulder blades and pressing him into you. This is beyond anything you have imagined.

It is as his lips depart yours and ghost down you, that you deliberate the taste of Levi. It escapes you, as his scent had, the only certain thing is that you are fast becoming addicted and consumed by it. He breathes shortly, mouth lingering on your collar bone. His exhale mingles on your sweat, flushing your cheeks. You have surrendered all control and you don't even realise it yet. Levi presses his cool lips delicately against the nape of your neck, hovering there before bringing them slowly up the entire length of it. His teeth touch your skin once or twice, teasing your nerves as he moves to end on your earlobe. From his thin lips a relinquished breath on springs something apart inside. You swallow anxiously, whatever it was at your core unbuckling. The sensation of his mouth traces over your ear as he speaks, subtly seducing every fibre of your being "I think we should take this elsewhere"

You smile, the widest smile you have ever given and nobody could see it. Not even Levi. You temper it as he continues, lifting his grey eyes. You simply rest your forehead to his, fingertips hooked at his jaw.

"I think someone is coming" he elaborates cooly, but his eyes remain white hot and sear into your own.

"Oh" you manage, somewhat transfixed with his gaze as it consumes your vision. Without warning he is guiding you by the waist out the other entrance to the room. A few corridors later, having continuously kept your dazed eyes on him, you realise you hands interlocked. Your heart skips a beat as you notice how perfectly they entwine on entering his office. Levi makes for door to the side which you have always supposed to be his quarters, pulling you along. Opening it, he leaves you on the threshold.

With that there is a knock at the door.

He must see the anxiety and dread as to who that is flashes across your face. His response it to cups it for a chaste kiss. In the same instant he seems to have turned his attentions to the interruption, shutting you in as he goes.

Standing there you simply hold your palms to your forehead, attempting to register what was happening. You had kissed Levi, _boy had you kissed Levi,_ and were now in his room having told him you loved him. As far as a turnaround for a day went, this was mind boggling. You attempt to swallow the somersaults in your stomach, wishing to calm yourself. _God_ your face is clammy. A few centred breaths with shut eyes and you locate your normal heart rate and start to actually look at the very private room you'd been placed in.

It was a small room, standard issue like the dormitories, except he had the luxury of being the sole occupant. This was signified by the double bed at the centre of the wall. The thing that strikes you first is how pristine the space was. Everything was in its place, a sense of order emanating from every corner of the space. There was not a speck of dust to be seen, not that any would be visible in the low light of the moon that tumbled through the window; not on the dresser, nor the sink, the bedside table or on the perfectly crisp bedding. You run your finger along it, following the taught pull of it's setting, tucked in neatly. You begin to muse what was to happen next, eyes resting on the plumped pillows for a second or two. Would he be expecting you...well...you weren't sure what to expect exactly but you had a good idea. You start kicking off your boots, and then go to your braces. You deposit them on top of the dresser beside the door. It is at this the muffled voices from the office distract your attentions, you perch yourself on the edge of his bed, looking to the source of the noise.

"All in order?" Levi inquires calmly.

"Yes sir, no disturbances"

"Very well, dismissed" he returns.

Okay whoever was behind you was not _that_ cadet. A relief swells in your chest until he opens the door. It is then the butterflies begin bustle through your body. Levi enters and unbuckles his straps without a word, hanging them on the hook you'd completely missed on the opposite side of the door. He spies yours out the corner of his eye, draped over the armoire.

"Tch" he notes to himself, plucking them up with a finger. Same goes for your abandoned boots, marking the halfway point between the two of you.

"You look tired" he notes, hitching your straps up beside his own.

"You know a girl can take that the wrong way if you say it enough" you return, running a circle on the bed with your finger distractedly. He occupies himself by lining your boots beside his for a moment, an odd notion of _his and hers _springing to mind as you return to watching him.

He snuffs in response, not turning to you "Don't be ridiculous, you are beautiful"

Well that bowled you over.

"Get up" he states, finally looking at you.

Well that is not exactly what you expected but you go along with it, pushing off the mattress and standing at the end of the bed. Levi goes to it and lies down, motioning for you to join with a lilt of his head. Anxiously, you crawl beside him, nestling into the space he left you in the crook of his arm. Your ear rests against his chest; steady heart threatening to lull you to sleep within three beats. It reassures you as his hand settles on your upper arm, tension ebbing away as you lie there in the quiet. You fight the urge to let your lids fall; this could just be a dream. You want to kiss him again and fulfil all those musings of him, confirm the reality of this all too wonderful situation. Sensing your unsettled thoughts his head turns to yours, you can feel it lower, lips lulling over your hairline.

"Try and get some rest" he whispers onto your crown, thumb now massaging you upper arm.

"H-" you start.

"_Levi_" he corrects, dropping his head back and staring up at the ceiling "Or didn't my assault on your mouth make that clear?"

You smirk into him, not meeting his eyes that you know are on you and find yourself drifting off. It just so happens to be the best night's sleep you've had in years.


	18. Moral

**You guys just get more and more awesome, but you know that, right? Also, in case you hadn't noticed, the rating has gone up…which can only mean one thing tehehehe. Enjoy! Next update will be in a few days. I hope this will hold you till then….**

* * *

Moral

Your eyelids slowly flutter open and disappointment starts to fill your senses: you are alone.

Lifting your head, you note that you are still in Levi's room and that there is a blanket covering you. A small smirk spreads across your face as you edge yourself up, curling up in the fabric, tucking your toes into it as you sit there. God it was _cold_. Slowly regaining consciousness, a little shiver runs through your body, you survey the room in the daylight and note that his straps and boots are gone.

'_What time is it?' _

A flicker of panic peters through your thoughts, but then subsides on catching sight of something above the sink. An _actual_ mirror. The feminine impulse that beats in your mind provokes you to practically jump out of bed, still cocooned in the blanket. It is only a small thing, a little battered on the edges and attached to the wall at about the size of your hand span. Regardless of its dilapidated state, _nothing _could detract from the excitement from being in front of a _mirror. _It is a luxury you haven't seen in a while; such things weren't around for the cadets in the Recon Corps or indeed regular civilians since the Titans attacked. Thankful beyond belief, you inspect yourself and what do you know, Levi was right. Bringing your finger tips to the dark circles forming under your weary eyes you make a resolution to get more sleep. It is at this you hear a voice from the office.

"Levi, was someone up last night in the training hall? I saw you crossing the yard...yet when I got down from my quarters you'd gone"

It was Commander Smith._ Oh dear God_.

You freeze, like a deer caught in headlights. What if he were to walk in? How could you explain yourself? Unease clenches your jaw as you stare at the door fearfully.

'_Oh hi Commander Erwin! What am I doing wrapped up in Heichou's blanket and not out training or wherever I'm meant to be? Oh, nothing…nothing at all, don't mind me' _your mind rattles off sarcastically as you bunch up the blanket around your shoulders _'A salute would cover all manner of sins right?' _you ponder as an after thought.

"I don't know who it was" Levi answers indifferently "I went to check, but the soldier had vanished before I could reprimand them…I must have alluded you by a few seconds"

Silence seems to lull painfully.

"How is the new unit working out?" Erwin says, after what seems an eternity, diverting the conversation.

Your entire body relaxes.

"Good" he answers vaguely.

"Excellent, Yeager behaving?" the Commander questions.

"Indeed"

"That female solider, _ is it?" Erwin continues.

You assume Levi is lifting an eyebrow as there is another period of quiet.

"Fulfilling your expectations?" he proceeds. You take a tentative step closer to the door, curiosity coaxing you closer to the conversation. Placing your ear to the grain you listen, taking care not to breath heavily.

"Very much so, Heichou" Levi reports. You bite your lip, stifling an involuntary giggle for which you mentally reprimand yourself; you aren't a _child_.

"I had my reservations after that business with the horse. But Ral confirmed her mettle in training…" he comments. His tone changes at this, lightening with friendly provocation "as well as saving you from a 15 meter class, _of course_"

"My gear malfunctioned" Levi grits in the flattest of voices.

How you wish you could see his expression. Was he embarrassed? You can't suppress your smile.

"It happens to the best of us Levi, don't look so sore. Besides, if she can save humanity's strongest that's good enough for me" Erwin dismisses, inciting a sense of worth in you. The Commader was impressed with you; that would brighten any soldier's day. His chair drags along the floor as he rises.

"Now. I think a day off may be in order. The troops need a moral boost" Erwin decides aloud, his footsteps trailing dangerously close to the door as they pass.

"As you wish" Levi obliges, rising also and assumedly walking him out the office.

"Excellent, I'll get Ral to inform everyone" he ends.

* * *

The door clicks open and you stumble back a bit. You straighten, arms crossed and hugging the blanket to you as he peers in before entering. Levi's eyes flash over you for only a moment.

"You're up" he confirms.

"Morning" you ruffle your slightly dishevelled (h/c) locks sheepishly.

"I trust you slept well" he continues, acting a little too distant for your liking as he shuts the door behind him.

"Mhm" you reply, feeling as though you were out on a limb as he walks over to you. Without warning Levi deftly delves his hands into the blanket, taking hold of your waist. Well _that_ put the distance thing to bed. Speaking of bed…

"Well rested for the day?" he inquires, eyes wandering over your face.

"But I though Erwin just said" you babble as his fingers find your elbows, running over them.

He raises an eyebrow, returning to your waist. Your cheeks dust pink at his intimate contact, eyes not able to quite meet his.

"Erwin just said we had the day off" he informs bluntly. You lift your gaze at this and spy a twinkle in his eyes. It fills the quiet of you not speaking as you try to decide if he is implying what you suppose he is.

Unexpectedly, Levi runs his hands over your upper arms and the blanket falls from you. Distracted by the sound of it hitting the ground, he scoops you up in his arms and proceeds to carry you bridal fashion toward the bed. The action was so effortless that you feel as light as a feather in his grasp. Levi lays you down carefully and you smirk up at him, looping your arms around his neck to which he wordlessly climbs onto of you. You giggle lightly and a small mischievous smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. It was funny, you never thought he could be playful. The jovial moment dissipates as focus settles in his stare; he begins undressing you, making quick work of removing your uniform while planting delicate kisses all over your body.

You watch him, feeling your breath shallow ever so slightly at each pressure of his lips and when he stops, you suddenly feel exposed. You _were_ exposed, wearing nothing but a tank top and knickers but that wasn't it, no, it was the way he was watching you as he leant over you. Levi surveying your form was as nerve-wracking as it was invigorating. The mixed notion only dwindled as he ventured into your eyes. A hunger emanates from his, the morning light glinting the silver and hitting it in the most captivating of ways. He waits their for a second or two, drinking you in as he rests on his forearms. His face hovers over yours, that little bit closer.

Realising you haven't done anything because you were so engrossed with the sensation of his body on yours, you blink. Your wide eyes soften as he silently instructs you to continue the course of action. Inhaling you steady yourself; you don't want your hands to be shaking as much as they are internally.

With courage, you pluck off his cravat and drop it on the ground.

His eyes don't move from your face.

You are surprised he hasn't gone and picked it up, or the blanket for that matter. Precariously you proceed, unbuttoning his shirt under his unwavering stare. You try not to fumble under the pressure of his gaze, somehow feeling you were being assessed, which was ridiculous. The touch of his thumb grazing your upper arm dispels this, tenderness sending a tremble through you. You temper it as you continue. Revealing Levi's toned chest you take a moment to appreciate it, hands falling down the nuances of his taught torso and stretching beneath his 3DMG straps. His warmth is intoxicating. He does not flinch, simply maintaining his focus on your face.

You somehow can't bring yourself to look him in the eye as your fingers rest on his belt, the leather barrier acting as a stopper to your caresses. Swallowing, you go to his trousers and unbuckle the straps and his belt, causing them to droop down his sturdy arms. You drag them off him, casting them somewhere to the side. His unreadable gaze that is now occupied with an undisclosed thought remains on you as you undo his trousers. You know he has great self control but this was _astounding_, surely your face wasn't that fascinating to him? Whatever thought that is filling his mind and consuming his eyes begs to differ, you catch it fleetingly as you take hold of the zip. You clasp the hard metal, sliding it down along with your eyes. His pelvis is flush against yours, so much so that the action causes your hands to be jammed between your bodies. An idea occurs to you, which you embark on before you convince yourself out of it. Bravely, you slip your hands beneath the parted fabric of his uniform trousers, letting your fingers spread and follow the feel of his cotton underwear to settle on his slender hips. Forcing yourself to look up, you latch onto Levi's gaze, biting down on your bottom lip with determination. He is biding his reaction, concealing it in that impervious stare that is searching your own. At this you tuck your thumbs into the waistband of his underwear, finally touching the flesh beneath it.

Then it happened. Levi flipped the situation, delaying your movements further south. His hand presses your hips against his with purpose and the other caresses your shoulder blade, slipping your top strap of your top off. His touch beneath your shirt sears your senses, shortening your breath without warning. It all becomes real, so vivid in that action, that your heart jitters in the wake of his certain eyes.

"No going back after this,_" Levi warns seriousness simmering in his gaze "I want you, _nobody_ else is to touch you"

You caress his face in response to his remark, a slight curiosity in you at the definite manner of his words. It was what you wanted so you saw no need to protest the demand. You nod, placing a delicate kiss to the corner of his mouth.

You don't expect a proclamation of love, despite what you told him last night. He was just making sure you knew what you were getting yourself into and what he required of you. Undeterred and inspired by the want burning in your body, you allow him to roll you over again, his lips firmly slipping into a reciprocated kiss as he does so. It is deep, as though pressing his claim on you against your lips. You take the branding willingly, all you need is to be _his_ in that instant. His hands pin your wrists to the mattress, affirming this assertion and dragging it down the entire length of your torso, leaving a blazing trail of heat on your skin. Your mouth opens at this with a gasp and Levi takes the chance, slipping his tongue in. As you explore one another's mouths his nose presses against yours. His fingers clamps down on your hips, clasping them tighter. You find yourself buckling to his form, chest lifting up to his body. His weight falls into you, countering your movements and keeping you grounded forcefully.

His hands squeeze up to your chest wantonly and you let out a moan, unable to hold it in any longer. At the sound his eyes dart up to your face with such purpose, it almost makes you release another noise. He was magnetic, you wanted to be immersed in him, his presence, to get under his skin.

"Damn,_" he breathes into your skin "I was meant to be teasing you for once" you can see his lower lip tighten, as though letting slip a sign of his strain.

You have a one up on him? Have you been teasing _him_?

His admission inspires a smile to grace your features as you look down to him. He sees the gleam of pride and takes it as a challenge. You imagine he is thinking _he _should be in charge, it was his natural position after all. You aren't sure what Heichou intends to do as he moves lower. Anticipation bubbles within you until it becomes very apparent what he has planned for you. It surpasses any unfettered musings you held about him; even in your most vivid dreams _this_ was never considered : Levi has decided, with a powerful prowess in his grey eyes that could tame wild horses with a single glance, to tear off your underwear with his _teeth_. You are nearly rendered breathless from his stare and the mere thought alone. It makes you wonder what else is in store, it suddenly feels like he has barely touched you in comparison of what his eyes allude to.

Mercilessly he takes his time, taking hold and teasing the fabric lower and lower, all the while maintaining that unyielding gaze. Every nerve ending is a live wire within, sparking with the subtle skirting of cotton across your skin. The flush of breath from his nose against your core sends a quiver through you, that unbuckling sensation front he previous night returning more ferociously. It seems to take an age to reach your ankles, made all the more wondrously gruelling by the tossing of the garment aside as though what he made you endure was nothing, just a practicality.

"You have been for months, idiot" you manage through your laboured breathing.

His eyes shine with a smugness "Is that so?"

You nod as his hands back move up the length of you legs, the sensation intensified tenfold.

"Well, allow me...to fulfil...your expectations" he offers, placing kisses delicately and dangerously close to your abdomen.

You tremble a little as his nose runs up your stomach, ruching your top. Every movement sets you alight. Every touch _electric_. His eyes are dangerously attentive, sharp and penetrating as he practically rips your shirt from your body; feverishly you do the same to him. In the midst of the disrobing Levi grinds his pelvis up against yours. Taken, you grasp his firm and bare shoulders, in an attempt to maintain what little composure you have. He responds, moving into the pressure of your fingers. Letting out a groan. You can feel him against you, his arousal becoming apparent.

He pulls away to removes his own underwear and trousers. You can hear his boots drop to the floor and in a flash he is back, immersing his hands under your body, clenching your back. You register this is it, your eyes set on his intent expression as your grasp clings to his muscular shoulders. His head is leant against your own and he is absorbed in is actions. His scent is heady at this proximity, silk hair tickling your cheek, it consumes your attentions so much that you are unable to look over his fully naked body before he enters you.

You convulse in pain; you'd been expecting that. You weren't one for relationships and had never had the opportunity. Levi, on the other hand, _hadn't_ been. It is evident as he tenses marginally, presumably at your reaction and the unprecedented resistance within you.

"Are you okay?" he asks, the same placidity in his question as when enquiring for injury when he rescued you. It is an efficient ask as he stares at the pillow beneath your head. However, his voice is hoarse and his eyes are laced with concern.

"Yes" you gulp, trying to overcome the onset of agony, at which his slate eyes travel over your neck and face in a sideways glance. It is as if he was trying to decide whether you were being truthful. Well, you did have a history of telling him you were fine when you definitely weren't. To distract him, and yourself, you take a hold of his head and guide his lips to yours; a confirmation to you both that you want to continue. He takes this, resuming his motion, another wave of anguish bursting as your body gives way to him. Levi caresses the line of your ribs, grasping your waist tenderly, giving you a moment to adjust. Each ministration of his thumbs makes the pain lessen, he can sense your ease growing as your contorted brow softens.

Levi begins again, slowly, and more for your benefit as you get more comfortable. You can tell he is holding back, as the hunger in his gaze is far for satiated. Then the rhythm sets in, the involuntary bucking of your pelvis letting him know you are accustomed to the feel of him. In increments, he speeds up and implements greater force, you grip at his back, winding a leg around his possessively. You are uncoiling, unravelling and there is no stopping it, not matter how much you grab Levi. Your limb tightens around his in spite of this, breath hitching unexpectedly whilst his concentrated expression becomes increasingly defined. He is at your core, stoking it with his heat and you are trembling. Euphoria erupts within and you gasp, finishing with his name in a whimper.

He smirks, a flicker of his controlled countenance lost as he fills you a moment later. You swear your name escapes his lips in a whisper into your hair afterword. His slender fingers submerge themselves into your locks. It was odd to see him like that, be it for a passing second, so loving and at ease. A cool smirk resumes its place on his features, burying the flash of whatever that was with it.

"I've wanted to make you say my name like that for a while" he tells you, studying the curvature of your lips from hooded eyes, two fingers now tracing them.

"Same" you note lightly, still riding the crest of bliss he had induced. It catches him off guard, his expression freezing for a moment. You imagine if he were standing, and not Heichou Levi Rivaille, he may have perhaps just tripped before regaining his composure. You observe him gently; his reticence partially removed once more. You reach up to him, kissing him roughly, releasing staccato breaths as you do so. He takes the opportunity briefly before breaking for air.

He removes himself from you and your feel yourself slacken. Levi sets another kiss on your cheek before shuffling. He drapes the sheets over you both, settling on your navel. There is hardly any need for the covering, the cold air of the room offering mitigation from the heat you are both exuding. Your body slowly relaxes, lulling into a state of fulfillment as you play with his silken hair, gazing up at the ceiling with him and basking in the afterglow of your joint exhaustion. You swear that stars were filling your vision as you lie there.

It takes a few minutes until Levi speaks, interrupting the quiet "We're going to have to clean this mess up in a moment" he notes, a hint of annoyance entering his words as he readjusts his head against you, cheek pressed to your skin and turning himself to embrace your body. You run your fingers along the base of his neck in response, smirking much like he had a moment ago.

"Yes, _Heichou_-_kun_" you tease, testing out the term of endearment.

A light kiss on the plane of your stomach is his answer to that.


	19. Girl Talk

**Oh you guys! You are making me so so happy with your wonderful reviews! Oh and all the recent author follows - I'm blushing as much as I was when writing the previous chapter, aha. Anyway, enough of my rambling...it's still our day off so let's continue...**

* * *

Girl talk

Well, that was. Wow. That was...no words could quite describe the elation you feel. You are aching all over but as you wander outside, into the sunshine, the whole world couldn't be any brighter. You catch sight of Eren and Armin, relaxing beneath a tree on the other side of the garden, they beckon you over with a wave.

"Where have you been? Jean's been asking after you" Armin mentions as you near.

Okay, that was a dampener but it doesn't taint the content in your heart for long.

"Oh…Captain had me organising papers" you lie, flopping down into the crook of the tree beside him with a satisfied sigh.

Eren eyes you oddly as your flushed cheeks retain a little pink "Sleep well?" he asks, unsure as to why you were so pleased with paperwork.

"Yes" you reply whimsically, voice light and airy as the breeze ruffling the leaves above you.

He furrows his brow suspiciously at you.

"Where is Jean anyway? I need a word" you continue, surveying the groups of people scattered among the garden. All of your comrades seemed to be chatting or enjoying the freedom of a day off; letting the troubles of these perilous days melt away. You'd not seen the stifling air of seriousness lifted in weeks and the release is brimming from everyone's exuberant expressions.

"I think he's off with Sasha, she said something about it being a perfect opportunity to plant potatoes?" Armin answers, placing his hands behind his head.

You chuckle, he'd probably been dragged along on _that_ mission.

"_!" Petra smiles, bouncing into your line of vision "You two can buzz off" she grins, dropping down between your ankles and onto her knees "_Girl talk_" she emphasises, shooing Eren and Armin away. It is only at this the reluctant two exchange uncertain expressions and move. They promptly disappear in the direction of Connie and Reiner who were playing catch, mumbling something about 'not even wanting to know'.

"Well?" she asks, eyes brimming with anticipation, clasping onto your ankles.

"Thanks" you breathe, sitting up.

"I take it he apologised then?" she persists, shoulders softening in relief at your response.

"Yeah, he's going to stop calling me _kid_" you divulge, unsure if there is any subtext to her words, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

"_Good_. He can be an idiot sometimes, so high-strung…" she trails off, a thought lingering on her brow as she focuses on something in the middle distance. Her distracted gaze is momentary, returning to you as she takes your hands in hers.

"_What_?" you question at her sparkling ochre eyes.

"The date is set!" she informs happily. Her smile is infectious and you find yourself grinning back at her.

"Congratulations Petra!" you offer excitedly "When are you-"

"Right after the next expedition, whenever that is…I have a week's leave saved up" she rambles, words struggling to keep up with her elation, voice bubbling with joy. In this moment Petra simply radiates glee, from her shining eyes and wide peachy smile, framed with a few wisps of copper hair.

"I'm so happy for you" you add, squeezing her grasp tightly "So tell me everything!" you press, patting the space Armin has vacated beside you. The pair of you swivel hoisting your legs up against the tree trunk and lying in the grass, staring up through the viridian canopy at the blissful sky. Nattering on about everything from dresses to cakes, the carefree spirit milling around you spurs your conversation onward without reservation. No considerations or restrictions entering you chatter. For once you aren't soldiers, just friends, lazing about on a sunny summer afternoon and talking about the future without hesitation or hinderance in sight.

"Quit lazing about you two; someone would think you would prefer to be in bed" a familiar voice comments.

Your heart flutters fancifully as Levi's face comes into view above you. You knew Petra had _no _clue as to the true connotations of that comment, but it still sent a pang of anxiety through you as his silver gaze slipped between the two of you. The thought enters your mind that actually, yes, you would rather be in bed with him again, despite it only being an hour or so ago that you had collapsed with him.

Your mouth opens like a goldfish, at a loss as to what to say.

"It's our day off Heichou, why don't you lie down with us?" Petra beams whilst closing her eyes, sighing contently and revelling in the warmth on her face. She is completely oblivious to your bewildered reaction.

"Tch" he dismisses with his usual flat expression. His eyes float back over yours with mirth, a hint of something else entering his stare before he taking his leave soundlessly.

Petra rolls over, watching him walk away "You know, I think he has a soft spot for you, _"

"You think?" you return in an exhale, a little swoon sifting into your voice as you look over to him. You can't help it. He's got you in a tizz. You have no clue as to his true motives in the events of the last day but you can't help but entertain the idea that he could feel the same as you. Perhaps not as visibly besotted, but it would be wonderful if he was nonetheless.

"Too bad he's out of bounds, hm?" she offers lightly.

"Petra" you begin resolutely, not picking up on her tone "Me and Heichou…well…we" you stutter, backtracking as you speak. However, as you look back at her, you can tell by her jubilant smirk that she knows. She knows all too well. It's practically plastered across her forehead. You lose your words, shutting your trap "I _knew_ it!" Petra squealed quietly, nudging your arm "He was so _angry_ at you in training…and then he asked about you after I told him off so I figured, that was _weird_ of Heichou and-"

"Oh yeah, thanks for dropping me in it" you reprimand, interrupting her with a playful slap back.

"You're welcome" she grins, a trill in her voice "And before you ask, of course I won't say anything. My lips are sealed"

Her nose wriggles as she says this at which you giggle.

A quiet settles between you, both taking a moment to watch the clouds pass behind the leaves.

"You're a good friend Petra" you tell her, gazing through to the intermittent patches of white floating over the blue expanse. She seems pleased at this, hands resting on her stomach as she nuzzles her shoulders into the ground; satisfied she'd done her job.

"He needs someone like you" she notes ambiguously, a breeze wafting past.

Something remains unsaid after that, drifting off with her words.

"So is he a good kisser?" Petra asks a few minutes later, returning to her impish tone.

You roll your (e/c) eyes, feeling her expectant stare on you "Unbelievable" you admit in a whispered exhale, recalling the sensation dotingly.


	20. Manoeuvres

Manoeuvres

You land uneasily, a pang of pain strumming through your core. Sensitive wasn't _even_ the word.

"You okay,_?" Eren asks, landing beside you.

"Mhm" is all you muster to which his bright green eyes flit over your anxiously "I'm fine" you insist, hands resting on your buckled knees "Just give me a minute" you add, nodding for him to continue. You were in the middle of a training exercise and your body is annoyingly still recovering from the previous day's private activities with Levi. You knew it was going to ache for a bit but this was handicapping your performance too much for your liking.

"It was worth it, _definitely_ _worth_ _it"_ you mutter under your breath, attempting to convince your muscles otherwise. Lord how you wish you had another day to recuperate.

"Oi, Brats! You would have been eaten by now, quit chatting and _move_" Levi calls from the tree opposite.

"Sorry Heichou!" Eren calls back "_ is just"

"I'm _fine_" you practically hiss, cutting him off.

_'Shut the fuck up Eren!'_

You don't want to appear weak to Levi. Honestly, it was just sex after all. However you bedmate just happened to be too mind-blowingly wondrous that your body couldn't handle it for your first. You continue berating yourself as Levi's authoritative gaze shifts to you; it is unreadable, as usual. He directs Eren onwards with his stare and shoots across to you. Straightening with another sharp twinge you greet him with your most professional countenance. You were in public after all. All day he had treated you the same as he normally would, which was expected. It wasn't like you were going to be holding hands skipping down the hall after yesterday; your relations weren't exactly authorised according to military law.

His silver gaze thins, inspecting you as he closes the space.

"I'm fine Heichou" you persist, shaking off Eren's concern and the one formulating in his ashen gaze. The touch of his hand on your lower back takes you by surprise and your eyes dart around for any unwitting onlookers.

"Are you sure?" he inquires in a low voice. His fingers soothe the discomfort as does his tone. Heck, even his proximity is easing the ache; this is the closest you've been for over a day and it only brings to light how much you need him, a yearning blustering beneath the sting. He's all you've thought about since, occupying your every thought with his lean and beautiful body and those smouldering eyes. You latch onto this want mentally, continuing to channel the pain through it. This seems to help, marginally.

"Just...I'm still a bit sore" you admit quietly, a bit embarrassed.

Displeasure dictates his features, to which you are unsure if you were the intended recipient. You suppose that if it were you he would be looking you right in the eye and not at a spot on you shoulder. The inversion of his enquiring stare suddenly sparks your consideration towards what he is thinking "It's not your fault" you supplement worriedly, hoping he isn't becoming discouraged by the effect he has had on you physically. Levi's gaze finds yours curiously, searching for the incentive in your declaration, beyond the obvious "Give me a day and I'll be back on form" you continue, unable to conceal the glint in your gaze as it wanders over his questioning expression and fleetingly to the rest of him.

He was so devilishly handsome, sharp features all the more alluring in the shade of the tree; the shadows accentuated the piercing eyes that were stuck on you, drawing you in happily. Levi's face falls into its habitual indifference as you consider this, making your heart drop sightly. He picks it up in a beat, his palm pressing delicately against your back, leaning forward and edging you nearer.

"I'll keep you to that" he whispers into your ear bewitchingly.

You are so tempted to grab him there and then but that nagging twinge present in your hips only reminds you to know better. He walks out into the light at the edge of the branch, leering down "Oluo, move your ass or do you want me to set _ on you again?!" he shouts down to the woodland floor. A few curses and protests follow, fading off into the woods.

He gives you look that is somewhere amid pride, jest and want before lulling his head for you to dismount the branch first. You smirk, jogging past and jumping off, swinging yourself into the air and floating on the crest of anticipation.

* * *

You take the feed basket, filling it up and hulking it over to Kahini.

She puts her nose up to it disparagingly, snuffing indignantly.

"Oh come on, you can't live off just apples you stupid mare" you sigh, offering her the grain once more. She eyes you skeptically before sniffing the bucket's contents. Thankfully, she begins munching away. You lean against the gate, balancing said feed on your thigh and allow your thoughts to meandering off. They are filled with relief that it was the end of a long day of chores and Levi. You weren't sure how you were going to approach him today, it's not like you could just wander into his office and snog him senseless…or could you? Debating the possibility you nibble your own lip, a glazed expression flooding your features as you relive the flesh memory of him on you.

"Afternoon _" an authoritative voice sounds. It makes you jump and drop the remaining grain onto the ground with an 'eep!'. Kahini nickers at her disturbed meal while you spin on the spot to the source: Levi, who is now rolling his eyes with crossed arms. Was that for you or the horse?

"You scared the shit out of me" you answer to his 'are you going to clean that up' look "And don't you start complaining" you add, pointing at your steed.

Levi watches you for a few moments as you go to the end of the stables to fetch a broom. His eyes following your movements, as though tethered to you.

"This is your final chore for the day?" he asks, picking up the upturned bucket and placing it up right at his feet.

"You made the rota" you reply, brushing the remnants of the grain into the gutter. Why was he asking, he knew. He knew where everybody should be and why. Unless. No he couldn't be approaching you? You were the one that was completely absorbed with him and not the other way around. Then again the treetop conversation of yesterday begged to differ.

"Indeed" he concurs, nonchalant eyes wandering over you in thought.

"What?" you ask, with a curl of a smile at your own speculation, feeling the weight of his presence observing you.

His eyes are riddled with insinuation before they break away, flitting around the empty courtyard. At the conclusion nobody was around, Levi abruptly takes hold of your hips, you drop the broom with a clatter and are pinned between him and the stable door. Your heart is stammering rapidly, in fear of being seen and in response to his movements. How was he so sure all the time? Sensing him eyeing you at this more intimate proximity your urge to kiss him is intoxicating but for some reason you decide to speak instead.

"I need to shower" you blurt out as his precise gaze crawls up your neck to your face. You don't want to disgust him at your current lack of cleanliness, you must be 'less than fresh' having been mucking out the stables about ten minutes ago.

"That can be arranged _" he breathes, lingering millimetres from your lips. He leans his forearm beside your head; causing you to be encased in his presence. You don't complain.

"I'm feeling better" you tell him in a breath, as though his vicinity plucked the words from your mind before you even realised it fully.

He chuckles darkly "I was counting on that" he admits, tugging a piece of straw from your hair and dropping off to the ground. His grey eyes lift to your hairline as he preens you "Meet me in the bathroom on my corridor in fifteen minutes"

As Levi's singular fingertip trails along your forehead you inhale his scent; he smelt wonderful as always, which made you suspicious and slightly intrigued as to what he was up to. It is then that his stare lilts into yours "Don't keep me waiting" he mentions lightly, giving you a quick glance over.

With that he is walking off and you are left breathless and flustered, still pinned against the stable gate by the sheer wake of him. Kahini nudges your head impatiently. You'd forgotten where you were for a moment, staring after your elusive Captian "Yes. _Okay_!" you berate, a sense of urgency stoked within, giving up the apple you've had in your pocket all along.


	21. Bathe Me

Bathe me

Towel and recreation clothes held to your chest, you venture as covertly as possible up stairs. You had managed to bypass the bustling dinner hall without much effort, even managing to sneak a peek. Peering in you note two things: everyone was either eating or relaxing and that it was particularly busy. Both cause a satisfied relief in your chest, convincing you that your presence would hardly be missed. Perhaps that was why Levi had suggested now? Musing this, it occurs to you that Levi was the one who found you and not the other way around and the resulting spring in your step carries you on your contented way. Your stomach doing flips at the mere thought of him and the anticipation of what awaited you unfurling with each step.

Oh, you _really_ need to get a grip.

You grip your bundle, its the only thing to hand after all, pressing onwards. You pass Levi's quarters and greet your destination, a calming sigh escaping you.

Entering the small washroom tentatively you are sure to shut the door behind you; it was reserved was purely for squad leaders and you had no business up here…no rank related business anyway. It was a medium sized bathroom with a shower and a sink, a set of hooks on the one wall over hanging a bench that ran the length of the wall and behind you. You kick off your boots, casting them to the side without a thought. However, the sound of the slotting lock prompts you to spin on the spot and out of your observation: Heichou is leaning against the door, arms crossed across his sculpted chest and looking down, wearing nothing but a towel.

_'Oh. Dear. God.'_

You smile at him, just taking in your wondrously lithe Levi. Was he yours? You abandon the contemplation as it is distracting from him. A flash of silver slips through his ebony hair and he is heading in your direction, intent emanating from those encapsulating eyes. He proceeds to take your things from your hands and place them to the side, wordlessly pulling off your shirt; you lift your arms, more that content to oblige. Whilst Levi's slender fingertips trace the entire length of your outstretched limbs, your flesh is flushes at his touch, matching your rosy cheeks as a warmth prickles the surface. They blaze a deeper scarlet as he unhooks your bra effortlessly, as though simply clicking his fingers. All the while, those eyes do not falter, maintaining that statuesque stillness that is set on your expression, giving nothing away. You swallow at the fact your heart is already unhinging from its regular palpitations and brave broaching his stare. It shifts into a recognition as you meet it, affirming how amazingly odd it is that he can sense these inner workings within you. He lets out a satisfied breath, unashamedly looking to your free breasts and tracing a thumb over your racing heart. You are more than a little rattled.

"I hope...I-I...didn't keep you waiting too long Heichou" you say, watching his focus through his raven hair. You struggle to speak as his skin slips over yours softly. Suddenly, at your words, he seems to be reminded of what he was doing and withdraws his tender caress immediately. He begins undoing your trousers methodically, taking slightly longer than necessary to slip his hands between your underwear and skin as to remove the article. His lip tightens at the contact, his eyes evading you beneath that lowers brow.

"Five minutes" Levi notes with a hint of irritation, separating the fabric from you, hands spreading over the curves of your lower half. You attempt to steady yourself as he relieves you of the garments, grabbing them in his grasp and pulling downwards in one swift motion. Stepping out of them, you kick the pile of abandoned fabric to the side, moving up to him, making it very noticeable how the towel is the only thing separating your bodies. As though a pressure valve had been released Levi lets out a tempered exhale, fingers latching onto you and collusion clouding his eyes for a second. It catches you off guard when he abruptly proceeds to twirl you round and guide you to the shower.

You were going to ask if he was joining but as you are placed beneath the metallic head the sight of Levi's towel being slung to the hooks passes in your periphery.

_'You are sharing the shower then...this was possibly on the cards from the get go so why are you so shocked and standing here like a gooseberry?'_

Your throat runs dry and as though on cue there is a hiss of water. Going to turn around to face him your shoulders are guided gently forward.

"You are filthy" Levi mentions casually from behind you.

Accepting this you heave a sigh, letting the water wash over you, capturing your body in a warm embrace. Another embrace joins it after a second and the heat increases, a firm form pressed against your back. Dropping your pleasantly surprised eyes to Levi's hands you see they are foamed up with soap and moving to hold you. His caresses start to cleanse you of dirt and your blazing need for his contact. Smoothly, softly, his hands massage your skin and you are quickly absorbed. You lull your head backwards into his shoulder, writhing in pleasure as he moves around your waist, up your stomach and over your chest. He places a small kiss on the skin you've unwittingly offered, nose running against the flow of water, parting the streams.

A deluge of delight flows through your body as his bathing motions become more carnal. You feel Levi's fingers running perilously close to your inner thigh as his cheek rests on your neck. His breath blends with the shower steam, both raising your temperature and unfurling you. A tug at your hair band and releases your (h/c) locks with a tremble, letting them cascade with the water. You sigh heavily at this and his hands scrunch your hair venereally in response, clasping it a bit more tightly with each passing action. His grasp is strong, the tendrils waning to it and the sensation extending through your entire body. You reach for his, clinging to the base of his back as yours arches, unable to control his effect you. He grunts as you run over his muscles and you find the water catching on your fingertips making it hard to differentiate between it and the silk of his skin. Levi abandons your hair as you grip a little tighter, going for your pelvis and pulling you up against him fast. The splendid scent in the air intensifies and you recognise it to be something you know. It is him. All Levi. All consuming.

You turn, with a pressing want to see him. The striking and sensual silver stops you as you twist, his hands not even parted from you for a moment. Levi's stare is saturated with longing, hair matted against his forehead only intensifies the gleam. You know this look also, but instead of complying press your chest against your disheveled hot mess and lean past to the bottle of soap on a shelf. You pour the viscous liquid on your hands, lathering them together.

"What are you do-" he starts in a low voice.

You bring them to his torso with a slap of water, possessive palms placed on his nipples. A smirk tugs at your lips as a masochistic murmur escapes him "My turn" you order, eyes thinning with intrigue.

"But I want you" he admits into your wettened collar bone, attempting to distract you with kisses "_now_"

This time you aren't giving in, as much as your body is yielding to him and his roaming touch: you want to explore Levi as much as he is exploring you. You implore your intentions with your eyes as he lifts his head with a flick. A tentative kiss on the lips dissolves his reluctance, allowing your hands to venture over his toned body, passing over the planes of perfectly even ivory. Levi's jaw sets, buried in your chest, disengaging his kisses as soon as you clutch his sturdy thighs. A dark look evades you and his fingers cinch back. Taught. He gulps, setting his grey gaze on your face with a hint of provocation. You simply bring your hands northwards, caressing his strong neck and burying them into his mop of black hair. His lips go for yours but you, with great internal effort to resist, turn him around and begin washing his hair. As much as he seems vexed at this his head begins to lull to your touch, leaning into your butterfly kisses that you land up his back.

"_" he exudes in pleasure, running that finger from your knee again. You quiver under the contact but press onwards, your hands moving lower again. This is to no avail as he whips around, clasping your face with a passionate kiss and claiming your attentions. The warm water running down your entwined bodies follows the contours of your soon entangled limbs and flesh. Like a river navigating its way down your landscape with every fell and expanse encompassed. There was no drought, in its stead a tumescence being drawn from within. Your skin was inebriated, loosing track of water and Levi.

Without warning you sense a pair of fingers venturing lower, cutting through the flow.

_'What is he -'_

"Levi" you gasp, water dripping down your lips as they burst open involuntarily. He raises an eyebrow lightly, that glint in his gaze returning from your grasp on his chest. He lets you settle, unwavering, as you sink against him. The patter of his fingers that ensues against you echoes that of the water hitting the floor between your feet. You can't quite maintain your composure. You draping yourself onto his form, curving to it, bending to his beckoning beats and rising to the rhythm he is inciting out of you.

You let out another whine as he thrusts two fingers in.

"You like that" he states rather than questions, rugged voice on your throat. There was no question about it. Your mouth had formed an 'o' as a consequence of your exultation and the only thing holding you up was him: your feet are practically strewn along the floor.

You nod because that is all you _can_ do.

Grasping his hand you, attempt to halt him. Are you ready for this? He ignores your hesitation, humouring you for only a moment. Levi supports you against his other arm, holding you shoulder blade and drawing his lips over yours "shhh" he coos, coaxing off your grip of what you think is your own accord.

You manage to wind your grasp around his neck as he begins moving those damned fingers back and forth. It sends you speedily towards oblivion, you're building up and reaching the point of no return. Your nerves are strummed vigorously, his thrusts timed acutely and the coveting of his mouth on yours clears your mind of all else. You can not feel the water, nor hear it. All that is present are his hands; fast, dextrous and gone.

_'Gone?'_

You shiver an exhale "_Levi_?" you practically whimper as your hips are pushed against the wall and out of the water flow. It is cold and solid, like ice, immovable. It sobers you, the sound of rushing water returning, diminished by his jagged breath in your ear. Grey eyes slip over your face triumphantly, recapturing your lips "Levi" you repeat, between the contact, now as a demand rather than a request. You can feel him smiling against your chest as he moves to your body, dropping threateningly close to your-

"Not. F-" is all you manage as his tongue makes its presence known, taking the place of his withdrawn fingers. He pries one of your legs against the wall, holding it there whilst smoothing over the other.

All you are capable of is burying your hands in his soaking hair and gripping at his scalp. Your body clenches up into a ball, retracting within itself violently. If your were rushing towards euphoria before, now you were hurtling at breakneck speed. His slick motions are a symphony of sensation, slowly softening you, hot and long whilst coiling you tighter and tighter. He is ridiculous. Reverberation after reverberation sings through your core and that mounting pressure inside resumes its incline. You smile in ecstasy, muttering his name like a mantra under your breath. You can sense Levi's eyes go up to as you do so, his actions cease. However, not with complete abandon. He doesn't break away, opting to run his magnificent tongue away from your entrance and all the way to your sternum as he stands.

"Fair?" he offers innocently to which you whisper a non word "That was for being late, and making me wait"

"Remind me to keep you waiting" you say to yourself, recovering, not quite reaching your peak and so dwindling.

"Did you enjoy that?" he asks, missing what you said and kissing your eyebrow tenderly.

You nod, latching to his lips avidly as your answer. The damp cold against your spine is interrupted with Levi's cradling hands "Good" he mumbled into the corner of your mouth.

It is at this you sense his manhood graze against your leg. Without forethought you decide to reach down, taking him in your hand gently.

"_" he states in a deep murmur, fervent eyes set on yours.

You continue to kiss him, not relinquishing your grasp and slowly running up and down his length. Levi grabs your hair and body in response, teeth pressed against your forehead as he restrains himself "I want to come _in_ you, _not_ _on_ _your leg_" he exhorts gruffly. The mixture of pleasure and pain in his voice causes your readied body to flutter.

_'Is this feeling that he had just got from me? God it's good'_

He is unaware that you need this as much as him as he clings to you and so oblige, scooping up his lips whilst guiding him in. Your mouth is hitched on a breath as he, on touching your heat, seizes you up against the wall firmly. It is an almost instantaneous reaction as within a few firm jolts you are a convulsing wreck in his hands. He is biting down on your collar bone, hands clutching at you all over. It's hard to keep up as he lifts you, moving slightly into the stream of water. Your vision becomes clouded by steam and paradise, you grasp at the wet tiles around you for some solidity.

"_" Levi stills, holding you there and filling you "_" he repeats, letting you slip down a little.

Feet firmly on the ground and you are done, wasted. He leaves you, about to move for the tap but you take his hand, entwining your fingers in that way they seem to do so easily.

"No" you whisper, chest heaving and searching his expression "Hold me"

Levi's fingers twiddle amidst yours, his eyes stuck on them for a second before he concedes, enveloping you in his strong arms. You melt against the rampant beating of his heart, savouring it, holding him like you want the moment to last forever. You hear the tap creak off and the fall of water cease, the magic of the instant dispelling as you part. Reality overtakes the sheer bliss all too quickly. You are handed a towel and dress quietly, left to your own thoughts.

You want to say you love him again but you refrain, biting your tongue.

* * *

Pulling on your fresh clothes, you sense his focus on you. He is mid-way though tying his cravat when you turn to him. An unadulterated warmth that held no lust or hint of motive bathes you, sitting unusually on his sharp features. Levi stays there for a moment, unflinching. It soon becomes evident it is an expression that he didn't want you to see as he quickly conceals it with his usual indifference, busying himself with the fabric. This bewilders you whilst instilling a small shred of hope that your feelings are reflected.

Those grey eyes betrayed something but as to what end you aren't sure. Going to open your mouth your chin is caught by the side of his finger. Your question is quelled as he glances over you gently. There are words on his lips and lingering behind the steel barrier, that remain undisclosed. Levi departs at this, leaving you physically satiated and mentally reeling.

* * *

**Lordy I need a cold shower now ha. Sorry about the delay in updating, I hope this made up for it tehehe. Thanks for the support guys, I love you all! Let me know if that floated your boat? X**


	22. Considerations

**Howdy all! This is a quick interim chapter, next one will be longer! Probably an update in a day or two sound good? Much love x**

* * *

Considerations

Wandering down the corridors you feel a little dizzy. That man had you in a fix. You believe that was quite possibly..._scratch that_...it was the most erotic experience you had ever had the immense pleasure of being a subject to. _Levi_. His name settles on your lips with a contented sigh. Yet, as wondrous as you feel, a niggling irritation has begun in your mind: that look. With him it was always those elusive eyes turning everything on its head.

All you could establish is what you felt; that in the moment he met your gaze, radiating that enigmatic look, you felt more happiness and joy than in any physical encounter you had with the him. He had never said anything that warranted such a stare.

You bump into a figure, too wrapped up in your thoughts to avoid them.

"Jean" you greet, stumbling backwards.

"Hey" he smirks "you weren't at dinner"

"I was...having a shower" you start, feeling your cheeks turn beet red at the memory "I was in the stables" you add "not for the shower, but beforehand...anyway" you ramble, attempting to follow your own train of thought without much success. He gives you a confused yet amused expression taking hold of your upper arms. You don't say anything but stand there bashfully. His smile, that has been searching yours, suddenly settles into a saddened one.

"What?" you ask.

Jean's hands drop away, surveying you.

"You've been with someone haven't you?" Jean says, defeat absorbing his features.

"Huh?" you breathe, chest constricting.

"The guy you've been off with, just now and Sasha said you disappear at night. Not to mention you've taken ages to speak with me" Jean elaborates.

"To ride Kahini!" you start, a half truth.

"Whatever" he sighs, sounding a bit cheesed off.

"I'm not lying to you. I haven't been with anyone" you protest, guarding your secret with every fibre of your hushed voice. People were milling past now, eyes casting over you as they did so.

"I thought we were..." Jean returns, letting his words trail off as he looks over your face. Hurt emanates from him; in his wide hazel eyes and his slumped shoulders, even this thinned lips. It grieves you to look at him "I thought we had something" he grits, anger flitting into his words, weaving between them. A few more gazes catch sight of the situation you are in, judging and trying to decipher what was going on. You heave a sigh, this is not what you had in mind when talking to Jean. The again, you hadn't a clue what you were going to say to him in the first place.

"Jean I like you but-" you attempt only to be cut off.

"But what? If there is nobody else then what is stopping you?" he pesters, voice raising "We get along really well and then the last time we were on rounds-"

"You're acting like such an ass" you mutter, affronted, interrupting his spiel "We are friends Jean-"

"You like me and you know it!" he announces exasperated "If I had kissed you, tell me you wouldn't  
have kissed me back!"

You are rendered speechless at this, at a complete and utter loss. You don't know what to think. What would you have done? You feel a warmth inside you, spurring from the slowly calming look in his bright eyes. His chest is rising and falling weightily, expectant gaze fixated on you. Several cadets definitely heard that, they had stopped going about their business and were eavesdropping and the end of the corridor, a few wolf whistles signalling their presence; this would get the rumour mill going.

Continuing to gaze at your friend you find the warmth fades. Realisation absorbs your fluttering heart: you wouldn't have kissed him...not now, not that you had Levi. If that enigmatic man were stood before you then you would have spoken already, there would be no hesitation, no grasping for words. No delay.

"Is there a problem cadets?" an authoritative voice interjects calmly.

"No Heichou" Jean bleats, swallowing his stature and saluting the figure behind you.

You know it to be Levi, his scent and presence ghosting over your body. You shake you head, as he rounds you, standing between you and Jean. You go into a delayed salute as Jean stares past you, a firm expression on his face. Yours falters going to the ground for comfort. You dare not to look into Levi's questioning grey eyes; you feel like you have betrayed him despite having done nothing.

"Keep the domestics to the dormitories and not the halls" he comments flatly.

Jean nods resolutely, wandering off. He pushes between the group of cadets leaving a trail of fury behind him.

"Oi, brats! Scram this isn't a viewing gallery" he orders to the congregation at the end of the hall, a hint of irritation in his voice. They disperse, petrified of receiving chores as punishment or worse the wrath of Heichou. You stand there, eyes latched onto the spot where Jean had stormed off. You can feel Levi's eyes wash over you and yours start to sting. With that a grasp envelops your hand, distracting you; discreetly Levi had taken it. Lingering for a moment, his indifferent eyes sift over you, grey gaze filled with that something you'd been privy to earlier. As a result your thoughts are silenced.

"What is it?" you breathe.

"Come to my quarters if you need to get away from the imbecile" he offers, interlacing your fingers with a squeeze "You didn't-" he begins, that softness dissipating and speculation taking its stead.

You shoot him sharp look but do not wrangle your hands apart, your skin can't bear to be parted from his no matter what he was inferring. It makes you consider his words the first night you had spent together. Moreover, why would he have said such a thing then? Why would his gaze be glazed with interrogation now? Levi says nothing, instead a smirk tugs at his mouth but does not quite allow it to formulate. The glimmering in the depths of his eyes, which have now met yours, carries it lightly "You okay?" he adds curiously, attempting to read you as you do the same.

"If I have you I am" you reply, the words solidifying the truth trembling in your heart, the one that Jean had inadvertently brought to light. You hope to inspire a verbal response out of him with this, it would be a lie to say it didn't inadvertently cross your mind. Levi's brow lifts minutely, musing your statement. He maintains his elusive look for a moment or two before decidedly pressing a kiss to your cheek. It is delicate and tender. His grey gaze ganders to yours briefly before he heads back to his office, leaving you in the corridor with your considerations.


	23. Caught up

Caught up

It was one of those evenings, sitting on Levi's bed. Since your dispute with Jean it had been a frequent occurrence; sneaking up to his door in the dark. This far you had avoided discussing the situation with Petra or Eren; no matter how many times they'd kept asking if you were okay and wanted to talk. They were being a good friends but you found that all you needed was Levi around to temper your sadness about the situation. You are nuzzled up against him now, absorbing his solidity whilst he sits, doing paperwork. Initially he had found it irritating, moving to the bed from his office, but after a bit of convincing that involved your lips, oddly enough few words were necessary, he had to admit that here was much comfier than his desk. Levi hadn't...not verbally anyway...the slight smile that had slipped over his impassive demeanour as you'd curled up to him that first night was enough confirmation for you.

"Levi?"

"Hm" he replies, riffling through some papers on his lap.

"Did you know I liked you?" you ask curiously. His brow contorts, you aren't sure if it is at what he was reading or what you said.

It had been your aim, for these several days, to decipher Levi's feelings for you. You knew he liked you, why else would he practically demand exclusivity from the off from you? Give you that soft and wondrous look? Allow you to embrace him in such an intimate manner without so much as a breath about something in return? It was true that the time since Jean's outburst he had simply held you and permitted you to hold him; just enjoying in one another's presence with a few stolen kisses and snippets of conversation. However, each time you thought you were learning a bit more about the man before you, it seemed like another layer had been uncovered, concealed within the guise of that gaze.

"You know, from the off" you elaborate.

"That... is news to me" he continues, still reading.

"Really?"

It's hard to decide what what he is focusing on as you look up to him. He catches your questioning gaze out of the corner of his eye.

"I knew who you were the moment I set eyes on you" he begins, eyes harbouring an internal thought "then you had the guts to talk back me with that shitty mouth of yours, that peaked my interest" he elaborates, flicking through the stack of pages "Among...other qualities"

"Oh?" you press.

"That is my prerogative cadet" he answers in an evasive manner.

You are distracted from where you wanted this conversation to go; Levi just seems to have this knack for diverting things; this you have learnt very swiftly. Every time you alluded to saying I love you again he managed to either abandon the flow of conversation, leave, or touch you...and that rendered you preoccupied without much choice in the matter; you could not resist his gentle caress.

"Don't pull rank on me now _Heichou_" you tease, welcoming the playful glint in the grey orbs that have flickered to you.

"Why not? I do it all the time to get what I want" he says unabashedly, grabbing his pen.

You lean against the rise and fall of his chest with defeat, taking in the weight of his breaths and trying to form a new plan of investigation. You don't notice that your pulse has synced with his out of habit or the sense of ease and warmth in which he allows you to do so. Instead, your mind keeps whirring and ticking over. A moment of this quiet calm does offer some clarity, a realisation clicking into place.

"Is that why you changed my cleaning rota?" you persecute.

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response" he counters casually, signing a page.

"Is that why I was mopping the floor when you thought Jean and I-?" you add, cutting yourself off by looking up to him. His indifferent expression speaks volumes, for once "You bastard" you reprimand, not in harshness but with frivolity.

Levi's eyes shine a shade of amusement at your behaviour. He licks his thumb and plucks over the page efficiently whilst you glare at him, letting out a long exhale through your nose. Your (e/c) stare thins speculatively, lowering yourself back against his body. Cuddling him, you return to your musings, smoothing the dip under his ribs. Levi could be a brick wall sometimes; you could climb and clamber over him all you want but he would not allow for you to see past the surface.

"Determination" Levi states abstractly, after a second "In training...you kept getting back up"

You dart soft eyes upwards, taken aback by what he said and the fact he'd said anything of the sort. It was kind of sweet, his regard for you. You continue to watch Levi inquiringly, a small smile blossoming on your lips as he considers something. Levi's pupils shift, finding the words he was searching for in the middle distance "Then your resolve with the horse" he deliberates aloud "As Humanities strongest I require someone who can keep up" he then states plainly, with an air of superiority that only fathoms in his snarky grin that slips through his silver gaze. It wanders over your form fleetingly.

"Narcissist" you cheek, trailing a finger up and down his shirt, tearing your face from his with a smitten smirk for a breath. You spy his brow setting into slight frown at this, still not giving you his complete and undivided attention. He shakes the report in his grasp so it straightens, resettling his arm along the pillow behind him. His fingers fiddle with the cotton case absentmindedly and it instigates a sudden want on your part for him to hold you, touch you with more than a comforting embrace. Was he aware that he was doing this? Probably not, he was very focused on the papers.

"Come on, you wear a cravat" you indicate, twirling the fabric around your finger teasingly, abandoning your quest into his heart for the night and settling, quite happily, for his body.

"I seem to recall my cravats come in useful" he mentions, eyeing the motion for a second before returning to his work "Whatever happened to that one I bandaged you with?"

"I kept it" you admit, continuing to play with the article, venturing into your reverie briefly.

"Thief" Levi notes in jest, eyebrow rising as he continues reading.

"You can have it back" you offer, eyes focused on the silk. It felt like his bare back and the neck it adorned. It inspires a smile, this random thought, as it occurs to you that only you know of this similarity. He rolls his eyes, again at what it is uncertain.

"Stealing from your superiors…" he sighs "I could have you disciplined for that" ludic undulation lurking behind his words.

"Is that a promise?" you say, the imaginings of your mind escaping your lips before you could stop them.

You feel Levi shift at this, clearing his throat and lips pursing. His muscles tense and relax. It was as though he was deliberating what you just said, testing out the palatability of it in silence. Those fingers that were hovering behind lightly graze the curve of your back as he goes to reorder the documents in his hands. You raise your gaze to witness a wicked glint gracing his grey eyes. Unfortunately it was still on his work but are inexplicably drawn it, like a moth to a light. Your mind meanders back to your recent bathing experience.

"I think I proved I can keep up" you comment provocatively, pressing a kiss to his shirt clad chest.

With that there is a slap of paper against wood, Levi has released his reports onto the bedside counter.

"I may need a reminder,_" he informs, placing emphasis on your given name. His hands are on your waist quicker than you can register, a snuff of sexual frustration exhaling down your face.

Slinging your leg over and straddling him, you clasp Levi's face. Kissing him roughly, fingers rummaging through his hair. You are sure to compress your body against his and the hands on you automatically begin smoothing down to your hips and the backs of your thighs, holding you there. His nose lulls against yours, dark stare consuming yours.

"Too bad I have cleaning duty to do" you add huskily, breaking away with what little breath you have. Before he can argue you bounce away, getting off the other side of the bed. Hopefully that look would keep until later.

His hair is dishevelled as is his expression when you turn back to him.

"Touche" he growls, taking up the file with more than a hint of begrudging in his voice.

You wiggle your eyebrows, inspiring him to smirk into his work as you depart to the kitchen.

* * *

The suds drip off the last plate with a heavy sigh. As much as you don't want to, you keep thinking about Jean. The way you left things were bitter, the memory of him storming off replaying in your head over and over, consuming your spare moments. You want to make amends, revive what scrap was left of your friendship. It wasn't your fault that things had changed, well, it was - you told Levi you loved him. Then again you had decided before that admission that Levi was the one for you, no matter how distant or close that would be. Thankfully it was the latter, at least physically...emotionally was another matter.

You turn the crockery over with a cloth, drying the porcelain vigorously. A familiar scent fills your presence, followed up by two very familiar hands around your middle.

"Are you keeping up?" you comment, biting your bottom lip.

"_You_ are keeping me up" Levi amends "Talk dirty to me again" he orders, his hands affirming their position on your waist. You weren't aware that you had been in all honesty, you had a much filthier mouth than earlier. A chuckle rolls off your lips.

"Ah, but my mouth needs a good cleaning, it is as dirty as the floor" you recall, allowing your flirtation to filter through your words "Besides, anyone could walk in" you chastise, tapping his hands away playfully "It's risky"

"Romance and war have similarities, risk being one of them" he counters, unwilling to give up his grasp on you. He nibbles on your neck, distracting you from letting the water out the sink.

"Romance, eh?" your ears perk up. Your cheeks dust with pink ever so slightly as he runs his nose up you neck, blowing hot air behind your ear "Are you going to sweep me off my feet, Levi-chan?" you question, turning in the minimal space to face him. Your stomach fills with butterflies in anticipation, was he actually opening up to you had your efforts over the past few days amounted to something? His reaction is delayed, contemplation filling the hush between you.

"Perhaps" he finally says, rubbing noses with you. He goes to your ear, bating his words and resettling his fingertips on your hips. Levi's voice lowers, whispering in delectably dulcet tones "Or I could just-"

What follows makes your cheeks bloom bright red, the things he says he's going to do…you can hardly control yourself as he continues. And you thought you had a dirty mouth! You would have to seriously up your game. His plans involve a rather unique use of his cravat and some 3DMG gear as far as you could grasp; you were beginning to struggle to keep comprehending as his finger trails up and down from your knee at that agonisingly slow pace, each time going higher and inciting a quiver from within. Your body officially has other ideas that overwhelm your ability to process his words. He was much better at talking filthy, which surprised you since he was so attentive to cleanliness. A phrase you'd once heard about keeping your friends close but your enemies closer comes to mind in the midst of the haze of his heated whispers and his hips pinning you against the counter.

You flutter your eyelashes, following his cheekbone with your absorbed gaze. It is then your eyes widen "Eren?"

Levi breaks away immediately and spins to the doorway.

"Uhh" he manages, going to turn on his heel and 'unsee' what he'd witnessed.

"Oh no you don't brat" Levi commands "My office, now"

Eren sends you a look of confusion and fear and you give him a tada kinda expression in exchange. He is then promptly dragged away by the scruff of his neck.


	24. Caught out

**So how about being Eren for a chapter, you know, just for fun...aha. Cheers for the support; so many faves and alerts! Let me know how you're finding the story so far, I hope you're enjoying as much as I am in writing it!**

* * *

Caught out

"Now what you saw between _ and I isn't to be discussed,Yeager. Not word to anyone otherwise the consequences could be-" he paused, whilst continuing to stare off into the corner of the room in a bored manner. His arms are crossed and head lowered as he leans on his desk. Lead eyes smack you in the face through his onyx hair "Are you even listening?"

In all honesty you were still processing what you'd just seen: Heichou and _. _and Heichou. Together? Suddenly all the business with Jean made sense! Regardless of that clarity, confusion still filled you about the circumstance you were in now. You nod feverishly, eyes that were focused on him widening like saucers. Your lips tighten as he sizes up every inch of you.

"There is a reason relations such as this are prohibited" Heichou concludes, reliving you of his scrutinising steel "Any questions?"

"How long has this been going on?" you ask bewildered beyond belief. Shuffling your weight on your feet you stand in silence before the Captain in the middle of his office. You remain precisely where you had been deposited. Your neck aches at the recent handling it had but you dare not rub it.

"My asking if you had any questions was meant to be rhetorical Eren" he returns flatly, arms uncrossing and placing palm down on his desk.

You look at him unwaveringly. Normally you would nod obediently, his word was law around here; as Petra had informed you. However this was _ you were discussing; she was the closest thing to family you had. Levi is studying your resistance with intrigue, an eyebrow lifting ever so slightly. You aren't sure if it is that same pleased response as to your intentions below the courts or in displeasure at questioning his authority. What he does next is unexpected.

"A while" he starts, eyes wandering to you "not that it's any of your business brat"

You can't quite believe that he is levelling with you by speaking so frankly. Heichou was known to be candid but the private nature of this did not lend to details being disclosed: his usually reserved personality would not allow it. Had he changed? His demeanour was the same, his rough-handedness, his unyielding eyes...your brow knits together attempting to comprehend the man before you in the midst of a surge of protective instinct.

"It is...she's like my sister" you counter defensively, taking to the altered air between you and Heichou wholeheartedly.

He halts; expression unfaltering and resting immovably on your face.

"Quite" he agrees, staring you directly in the eyes.

Quiet settles and you swallow, considering the situation some more. Trying to go beyond disbelief and assessing it for what it was.

_'If _ is involved with Captain, which she clearly is, how do I feel about it? Does it even matter what I think? Before I walked in she seemed happy, happier than I've ever witnessed. Isn't that all I can want for her. If this is just an affair or whatever...as long as she is content then that is all I need'_

"I won't say anything" you express, bravely maintaining your joint gaze.

Levi's remains impenetrable despite the connection and he leaves you waiting, hanging there as he dissects every element of your green eyes with that sharp stare. It reminded you of the analytical expression from your awakening in the basement. It made you equally anxious.

"Good" he responds, alleviating the dense atmosphere that had assumed the room. You exhale in relief, part of you thinks the power in the room should be the other way round but this was Heichou after all. He was in charge of most situations you'd encountered, or at least had a firm handle on it when superiors were involved. Heichou didn't need to scream and shout to make it known either, his presence was enough. The man was everything you expected yet a simultaneous contradiction. This experience merely affirmed it; the best warrior of mankind that adheres to orders by the letter who was once a thug of Sina's underworld was now in a forbidden relationship with _. What had prompted this lapse in reformed character on his part? Immediately, the guys' opinions of _flood your mind and you blink them out, extinguishing them from your mind. You didn't like hearing or even thinking about the obvious reasons why Levi would be interested in her.

Brotherly compulsion causes you to continue the conversation, you want to know... no...you _need_ to know she isn't being taken for a ride, know that Heichou cares for her as deeply as you do. His intentions had to be sincere, it was what she deserved and nothing less. If he was just using her; your blood was boiling just contemplating it.

"Heichou?" you ask, unsure whether you are breaching his respect by speaking. He gives you an expectant look and so you press on with your speculation "Is this why you were the one who brought her back when she lost the horse? People went missing on the 56th expedition but there was no search party…forgive the disrespect in questioning you but it seems you went off your own back"

_'Have I caught him out? He seems a bit more rigid in his placidity. His fingers are gripping the table.'_

Levi lets out a breath, drifting his gaze to the floor in thought. His reaction dissolves your fear of being scolded for such and intrusive remark.

"Losing that potential...would have been a loss too great" he answers ambiguously. His tone conveys all you could want and quells any doubts or reservations. Levi's voice was soft, filled with strength and resolution. His motivation was evident and you nod, pleased. A man of few considered words could always be accounted for in his actions. Together, Heichou's words and actions only lead to one answer and when impassive eyes betray him, in the pause between 'potential' and the rest of his answer, you can see that he has supplemented her name and given it away. It radiates from him, etched into his purpose and very breath, as fixed as his slate eyes were on your face. You know your conclusion to be true without a shred of uncertainty: he loves her.

He's now studying the small smile on your face, his eyes glinting with a thought.

"Take good care of her, or I'll change form on you" you warn, feeling the boundaries between Captain and Cadet have been abandoned for all intensive purposes of this moment.

"It won't come to that, but I can take you Yaeger. Or did you forget the Hange's dental examination?" he responds with a cruel smirk pulling at his mouth as he moves off the table and rounds it.

"Sir" you confirm, saluting. He nods at the door, excusing you as he takes a seat.

* * *

"Well?" _ asks, pushing off the wall into your path. She is twiddling her fingers, fidgeting with the cuff of her jacket. She looks so nervous, like a child who has been waiting for a telling off. You take her by the arms, delving into her desperate eyes.

"I'm happy for you, and your secret is safe" you tell her. She eases at this, jumping on you in an embrace. You stumble backwards a bit, catching her as she latches her arms around your neck.

"Are you mad at me?" she asks into your collar bone.

"No" you waver "You don't make things half difficult though, do you?" you grin into her hair, hugging her form tightly as she clings to you.

Her giggling rumbles through your chest, inspiring a light laugh out of you.

"So, you and Heichou...am I going to have him asking me for your hand or something soon?" you tease.

She slaps you on the arm, a blush blooming in her cheeks, eyes glittering like a giddy schoolgirl "Shut up Eren!"

As a sigh settles in her smile something fills her gaze "What did he say, exactly?"

You give her a searching look, trying to distill what was consuming her wide eyes. It only takes a second but you find that it is written all over her face; she loves him back. This wasn't some fling, some passing fancy. New found relief at your persistence with Heichou absorbs your heart along with intrigue; he hasn't told her yet. Why else would she ask with such eager eyes. A warm excitement unfurls for her in your heart. You would not tell her, he must have had his reasons and you don't want to spoil it.

"Everything I needed to know" you beam. _ seems suspicious of you, playfully pouring her eyes over you, they flicker to the door you've just exited from "Go on" you roll your eyes, to which she smiles bashfully, giving you another quick hug before heading in.


	25. Right here, Right now

**Sorry about the delay guys, I hope you enjoy and the length makes up for it...also just a warning to forget about lemons, or even a bag lemons, you're about to take a walk through an orchard of lemon trees. I feel so naughty….GOD what am I doing with my life?! Aha...**

* * *

Right here, Right now

What had passed between Eren and Levi was a mystery to you and probably always would be: this you had accepted. It did not trouble you; the content from Eren was enough to assure you that all was well and settled. However your curiosity had been stoked, like dim embers in a dwindling fire. What had Levi said to appease the man who was essentially your brother? Eren was hard to deter once he set his mind on something and you know in your heart that he cared for your well being deeply. He respected Heichou but equally, Levi's behaviour could be seen as a disrespect toward Eren; he was not your blood but was as good as.

You brow had furrowed lightly at this thought as you clasped the door knob.

Turning it, you mull over what had passed. Your relationship was still a secret, save Petra and Eren and you and Levi were together; your heart beats happily as realisation reveals itself to you. Levi must have made his intentions known.

But Eren was teasing you, surely...Levi wouldn't disclose such a thing. He hadn't even said 'I love you' back. You dismiss this train of thought opting to change track, oddly your joy is not quelled by this. Here and now is what you will focus on and right now the man you love is in his office having told your family something that made your unconventional relationship okay. This was enough. That aside, where you had left things was not enough. You wanted more. You wanted him right now. You enter the room softly to see your Levi staring out the window in his chair. A peace emanating from the man you had never quite witnessed before. It took you by surprise, enticing you a step closer.

"What is it now Yeager?" Levi asks in a bored tone, swivelling around to face who he supposed was Eren. His impassive expression that he had preparedness for Eren remains as he looks you over head to toe "I wondered how long you'd be" he comments, a wry smile threatening to a surface but not quite managing to do so "You've spoken to Eren I take it?"

You nod with a small smile, eyes dancing over Levi whilst locking the door discreetly behind your back and sauntering forward.

"Satisfied he still has all his teeth?" he adds conversationally, not tearing his eyes from you, those lips still teasing to grin. Your head lulls to the side a little, stare thinning as you inspect him. He was wonderfully dry sometimes. You note how the certainty in his stare seduces you closer and give in to it.

"No?" he pauses, leaning back a little.

The chair creaks.

"Would you'd rather I'd beat the shit out of the brat for creeping up on people?" he asks, narrowing his gaze as you encroach. At this you slip between Levi and his desk.

"You can talk" you return, perching there, edging his chair to swivel and face you with a light tap of your foot. Your boot hitches up onto the arm, steadying it firmly there. His grey eyes dart from it to your face, bypassing everything in between with a curious colour. You smirk, his ashen gaze giving in and absorbing the rest of you. It drifts, washing over you with a familiar warmth. You were going to speak, catch it there and question it but it soon becomes diluted with a want that is committed to following the line of your boots up your legs. Needless to say it is distracting.

"I believe we were talking before we interrupted?" he recalls cooly, hands remaining on his knees as he goes to get up. You firmly plant your boot on his chest, pushing him back into his seat, pinning him there. Your eyes sparkle with mirth for a moment. He misses it, focusing on the pressure on him.

"Your boot is making my shirt filthy" he remarks nonchalantly, eyeing it.

"Well, you are just going to have to remove it then, aren't you Levi-chan?" you suggest lightly, letting your head drop to the side again, eyes laced with mischief. His eyebrow rises to the challenge and he studies your expression, the resistance of his body relaxes a little as he assesses the situation.

"Are you giving me orders cadet?" he inquires with a click of his tongue, you note his fingers have clenched as he shares his conclusion. His sedate demeanour was dissolving.

"Perhaps, or I could just-" you begin repeating his words, lifting your boot up to his chin. He grabs hold of your ankle, cutting you off. With that he yanks you forward and you fall onto his lap in a heap.

You giggle airily against his solidity, submerging your hands into his hair without hesitation. His eyes melt a little at your proximity, lips setting into consideration "I'm the one who gives orders round here,_" Levi says, hands smoothing over you possessively. You tug at his cravat with equal claim and he grunts, releasing that smirk at last. It sent a relish of a tremble through you.

"Can I make a request then?" you pose, letting your doe eyes lilt to those perfect lips.

Levi's smirk fades with a pause, sincerity slipping into his countenance as he observes your eye line "Anything" he whispers, loosing himself, mysterious eyes shifting to your mouth.

Spying the dust settling in them makes you wonder what had happened as to disturb it. Was it something he and Eren had discussed? Or was it simply Levi opening up to you? You feel his thumbs tracing patterns on your thighs and his steady breathing against your skin. Something stops you from speaking; you don't want to spoil the moment by interrogating him. Instead that something proves to be an equally risky alternative. You curse yourself mentally for being such a coward as soon as the words leave your lips.

"Show me what you were going to do with this you kinky bastard?" you indicate, lifting the fabric in your grasp and slowly untying it

"Tch" he sounds, grin creeping back across his mouth. Without warning Levi removes a hand from your body, grabbing the free end of the cravat and winds it around his grasp swiftly. He then did the same to your grip. You eye him with intrigue as he does so, quite enjoying the fact he was literally tethering himself to you. Heart skipping in anticipation, you stare deep into Levi's supple silver. Focus is at the forefront, smothering that something that simply radiated heat. It is as you latch onto the surfacing warmth that without much effort, he pulls you forward with such force that your lips mash together.

"Levi" you start into his mouth, moulding to his kiss. Just as you get into his mouth, experiencing that taste you've been longing, he uses the fabric to twirl you around onto him, pirouetting your body rather gracefully. Registering your new orientation you find your own arm is holding you captive behind your back as you sit. You laugh in disbelief to which a chuckle ghosts through your hair. He slides his knees to part your legs and you gulp. The precedent for the evening is set before you; it is most definitely in Levi's domain and terrifyingly titillating.

"That, is something I am _more_ than happy to oblige to" he says in a slow and steady voice. He fastens your legs still with his ankles, moving them around yours as though affirming his claim on you. The leather squeaks, rubbing against each other as you go to move; a fruitless endeavour. You sling an arm to his strong shoulders as he nudges your neck to the side, kissing your racing pulse. Your free hand curves up the nape of his as you unwind to his caress, tugging his ear.

"Levi" you whisper, as he nips your skin. You clutch at his leg straps with your free hand, clawing at it. He takes to the clasp you have on him with a calm breath, interlacing your fingers and guiding you elsewhere. You oblige, still occupied with the sensation of his mouth and the snuffs of air shooting down your top as he kisses you.

You soon realise your hand is placed on your belt.

"Undo it" he instructs cooly into your hair.

You do so as his hand moves along your 3DMG straps, slipping them off your shoulders. His hand shades over your chest going to your top button and undoing it. You shudder involuntarily at which he leans against your neck dotingly as he works.

You've undone your belt and he teases your earlobe tenderly with his teeth "_Now_" he starts, taking your hand. He lifts it over your trouser button, undoing it whilst holding it "the zip"

His voice is thick, velvet coaxing you to comply without much exertion. Swallowing, you clasp it and pull downwards. As you reach the bottom he pulls your bound hand a bit tighter, your back arching and you release the metal.

"Hmmm" is all you manage.

Levi straightens, giving you a bit more room, pulling your hand toward your underwear. Urgently you turn your head to look at him, he is watching you curiously, before dropping his eyes to the rise and fall of your chest with particular interest. It returns to yours, supple, satisfied.

"Levi" you breathe as he slips his hand in with yours.

He raises an eyebrow "_" he teases back, not breaking from your gaze as your lips remain parted.

"Are you doing what I th-" you speedily start "F-" you stop yourself, resting your forehead against his temple, nose leaning to his sharp cheekbone as he moves you to touch yourself.

"Can you follow orders?" Levi enquires, eyes not leaving your face. He's drinking you in "Tell me you want me to stop" he adds, challenging you in the most delicate of tones.

You can't find the words, it felt too good. You murmur but nothing actually escapes your lips, it remains within, where he was moving you, keeping you, unable to escape through your tensing body.

"Disobeying your superior" he remarks with a mock irritation. Although it is rather convincing and begin to question it, he slips your fingers in and gripping your hand firmly. You buckle, unable to stop yourself. Pressing against his pelvis he keeps you there for a few intolerable moments, guiding you back and forth pointedly.

"So-" you try to apologise at which he tuts, slowly removing your hand and bringing it up to his face.

Then the unthinkable happens. Well it would have never entered _your_ head.

Levi, giving you that devilish look all the while, kisses your fingertips and proceeds to suck on them. Tongue traveling tantalisingly, he is testing you and by the gods you are trembling. He licks his lips and you are very much done there and then. Dear _lord_ he was insatiably magnetic. Before you can get comfortable he whips you round again. Next thing you know you are pinned on the desk, he moves and your hands, that are now miraculously bunched together, so they are held above your head.

"What shall I do, cadet?" he muses, hanging over your lips " What shall I do with my delicious _" Levi continues, observing every inch of your face, raking those godlike eyes over every nuance of you. They meet yours, contented and as far from coy as comprehendible. You imagine yours are wide and fixated on him, lost in him, his words. Levi kisses you softly on the lips, pulling off your boots as he holds you there. You wrap your legs around his middle, brining yourself against his hips.

He smirks "Impatient?"

"Please, Levi" you ask, as he plants kisses down your exposed chest. He brings you up to seated, hooking your arms around his neck and taking your waist and holding you there. He kisses you hard on your chest, being sure to leave his mark.

"Fuck" you manage, tangling your hands in his hair, clenching your legs tighter.

At this the tease is abandoned, you feel it as Levi speedily unravels your hands and launches into a passionate kiss. He ventures under your shirt, cradling the small of your back, fingers running up and down it covetingly. The purpose remains but is overwhelmed by a hasty want, clambering from his racing heart. You feel it is fit to burst under your palm.

"Well that didn't last" you comment jokingly between the contact of his lips .

"I'm human,_" he responds in between the kisses "you are just too"

He looses his words as he stands, scooping you up with him.

"Too?" you flush, resting your arms on his shoulders as he carries you toward his bedroom.

He lifts an eyebrow, keeping his thoughts to himself.

"Levi?" you press, kissing his jaw repeatedly and massaging his neck with your fingers, as though trying to tempt his words out. You feel his muscles cinch and he inhales roughly, kicking the door open with a bang and turning so you are wedged between it and him. Lifted from the ground he pushes up against you shutting it abruptly.

"You" he tells you, sweeping the hair from your gaze "are too hard to resist". His stormy eyes are tender as he speaks, tempering the lust in his voice from earlier. It is like a summer thundercloud, heavy, hot, passing over you as the pressure builds in it. You must have had an astonished look on your face as he chuckles lowly "Don't look so surprised" he instructs "You're" he stops in your gaze, studying it intently "You're perfection and I'd be foolish to do anything else but concede"

He has his forehead against yours now, grey focused on your lips and then your nose. His breath warms you, inspiring your flapping heart to calm. He looked different in the darker light of his room but you couldn't fully place how. As he stops speaking his kisses you delicately.

You want to tell him again, tell him he is everything, that you love him...but think better of it. He'd not said it yet.

_'Right here and right now' _your mind reminds.

"And there was me waiting to see what you did with the manoeuvre gear" you jest.

"I don't think you'd make it that far" he returns wickedly, referring to the heat he can feel against his trousers "All in good time, but right now" Levi deposits you on the floor. You stare up to him, awaiting what he is about to say "right now" he repeats, dabbling in your eyes with a dark seduction. You think for a moment he had read your mind but decide you were delirious from his intoxicating presence, as usual. Your hands wander over his frame, inspiration drawing them lower.

"_?" he questions, feeling you tug at his trousers.

Wordlessly you undo them, raising an eyebrow and mirroring the look he'd given you a few moments ago.

"Right now?" you return, guiding his hips so he is the one against the door. It odd how pliant he is, in training and on missions he was immovable, unyielding yet together, alone. Perhaps you'd perplexed him.

_'That could work' _you conclude.

Kneeling with a rather dirty gaze he loses his focus, you can see it in his brilliant eyes as your hand runs over his arousal. Before he can react you have undone his uniform and taken him in your mouth. He was ready, but evidently his mind hadn't quite caught on in time. You felt rather pleased to have had this effect on him; his hands bury themselves in your hair, gripping you tightly as you let him in.

"Enough" he grunts after a few ministrations.

You ignore him, continuing in your actions. He made you feel so fantastic and wanted to return the pleasure. If his lifted head and taught lips were anything to go by you were doing well. He moans, fingertips curling under your jaw.

"_" he warns, weakness warping his voice. Suddenly, he pulls you away to which you meet his eyes, they are recuperating a firmness they had lost as a result of you. Levi, with an open mouth guides you up and toward the bed, maintaining a masochistic meaning in his gaze "I need to be in you. Now"

His breathing is laboured, stifled, just managing to communicate with you.

Before you answer you are silenced with his mouth. You're both pretty much fully clothed but heated urgency has dictated your movements. He enters without a word, forcefully pinning you to the bed.

"God. Levi" you exhume, as his hands drop from your wrists. You're head was spinning yet stuck on his. He was leaning against your breast bone as he moved, striking you like lightening as he releases himself. You embrace his head, curling toward it "I love you" you breathe into his hair, unable to keep it in any longer.

Levi grips you a bit tighter, kissing your breast, your collar bone, your neck.

"_" he speaks into your skin like a secret.

"Hm?" you inhale, coming down from the dizzy heights he has driven you to.

He simply washes his eyes over you, panting. He doesn't speak, flicking his hair out of his eye line and kissing you softly, enveloping you in his embrace.

"Stay the night with me" he states rather than asks after a moment. You nod leaning against the strength of his arm.

* * *

"I love you" he whispers.

Your body stills, taking it in, the sound of bells ringing in the distance. You touch his lips and he watches you. The murmur of the metal, filling the dark around Levi. It's unimportant, all you see is his shining silver eyes set on you, looking down his bare chest. He repeats his words with more solidity, taking hold of them as he takes hold of you.

* * *

You awaken to the sound of a bell, echoing through your dream and pulling you slowly into consciousness. It was actually sounding? You were asleep? Your eyes flutter open to be greeted with the sight of a familiar door over the rise and fall of Levi's chest. He inhales dozily as you place a hand on his bare skin, calm surrounding his sleeping form. No disappointment comes from the memory of your dream, all you see is him and it fills your heart with love enough for the both of you. As you look to his face his eyes open with a start, pupils adapting to the light.

"Levi?" you mumble "Can you hear that?"

His hand smooths from the crown of your head to the back of it, his thumb running back and forth over the curve of it; Levi's stare remains fixated on the ceiling.

With that there is an intent rap at his bedroom door. You both remain frozen where you are.

"Heichou Levi" Petra calls, you soften a little, his eyebrow merely migrates a millimetre or so up his brow "Heichou, two abnormals have gotten through the wall" she informs voice quivering at the end.

Levi's grasp drops down your back resting on the base of it, those morning eyes slip over you, balmily taking in your face before he rises promptly. You follow suit, grabbing your clothes from around the room. You don't even recall removing them, nor his for that matter.

"Ral, ready the horses" he orders through the door, pulling on his trousers. You throw him his braces and belt which he catches effortlessly, slipping them on "Tell Erwin this one's just us"

"Heichou, Squad Zoe has been dispatched already" she answers as you dress. Your ears prick up, that means Jean will be there.

Levi rolls his eyes, irritation tinging his words "Have you called the team down?"

He rips off the shirt you are putting on and hands you one of his fresh ones. You blush, taking it.

"Permission to enter, Heichou"

Levi casts you a look shrugging on his shirt. You are doing it up with your back to him, missing the consuming and contemplative coal gaze. He selects his own from the dresser and pulls it on, opening the door.

"Heichou, everyone's heading down now, except I can't find-" not even a syllable of your name escapes Petra's mouth she paces into the room "Oh" she gathers and you spin on the spot with an identical face.

Levi doesn't react to your shocked expressions, simply buckling up.

You smile, unable to stop your cherry cheeks reddening. She knew this was happening, but not to this extent. What confused you with how easy Levi was with letting her in. Then again, she had practically set him to ask after you and 'open his eyes'. Had they been discussing you before then? Your mind was buzzing.

"Eyes opened Petra?" he says with a teasing edge to his boredom.

"Heichou" she nods, smiling at you happily before departing.

Boots on you lift your eyes to see Levi holding out your straps. You take them placing a fast kiss on his lips "I'll give her a hand?" you ask, expecting orders. He nods efficiently, allowing you to rush after Petra.


	26. Protection

**Thanks for all the faves and follows guys! Some more reviews would be useful, I want to hear from youuu! Right, enough from me, I dedicate this chapter to you, my lovely readership...I hope it doesn't disappoint!**

* * *

Protection

"About fucking time" Oluo notes, mounting his horse "Had a lie in did we?" he eyes, noting your mismatched top button.

"Something like that fuck face, now can we focus?" you return, not missing a beat as you lead Kahini and Levi's stead, Dante, over from the stables. Eren's eyebrow lifts with a knowing expression whilst Armin is busy talking to Gunther and Erd.

Olou's eyes shine with jest "I suppose" he adds drolly, attempting to copy Levi as he straightens his cravat. He nearly had it down but most certainly would never achieve his brilliance.

"Ready?" Levi commands from the other side of the courtyard, voice firm authoritative. Everyone snaps to attention in response, falling silent.

"Almost Heichou" Petra informs, opening the paddock gate "Hange's already gone"

"Lose the grin Oluo. We are meant to be humanity's best and yet we are lagging behind shitty glasses of all people…" Levi sighs, taking hold of the reins you offer without a second glance at you; he was in mission mode.

"Sorry Heichou" he mumbles.

You sort Levi's shirt out discreetly before mounting, holding its collar to your nose and taking in his scent that was encasing you. The heavy gaze you sense on your shoulders makes you stop what you are doing and get back to business, the blush in your cheeks forces you from meeting his enquiring eyes.

"Altert, Mike, you know where we're headed?" he continues indifferently behind you. You are unaware of his gaze remaining on the curve of your back under the guise of his hair. It shades them as he checks his manoeuvre gear.

"Hiechou" they nod in confirmation as you turn. You observe your lover ardently, noting the sharpness of his concentration as he surveys his unit. With that Levi simply looks to the gate, indicating for the pair to lead the way. In seconds you've all set off, departing HQ and heading for the disturbance in the neighbouring town.

* * *

You arrive a few meters out of the township, a fair distance from an un-repaired hole in the wall. Fastening the horses the unit wordlessly make for Hange; she is up on a nearby roof pouring over something on her knees. It becomes evident, as you shoot up to meet her, that it was a map of the town she was surveying. A pragmatic intensity mixed with indecision warped her expression.

"What's the issue?" Levi questions in monotone, landing with silent finesse. He was clearly inferring why this was necessary, surely they could take out the Titans like any other abnormals; with a bit more effort and slightly more consideration than the standard ones.

"Ah Levi!" Hange exclaims in relief, spying you all surrounding her.

"They seem to be protecting themselves" she says, unable to hide the excitement in her eyes, the problem posed following afterward, clashing with it.

"Don't they all?" he comments dryly.

"No. They are protecting _one another_" she returns, ignoring his manner.

His silver eyes steel in disbelief, hardening. It is only slight but you sense it, simmering from his body. Levi didn't like change from the Titans, it left room for unprecedented situations...unprecedented risk. They already had an advantage in their size and power, the only fact in our favour was they were incapable of strategy. This hope was slowly being unravelled, first with the attack by the colossal Titan five years ago, then with the armoured one...now this. Were they displaying loyalty or was this merely an exhibition of two abnormals' behaviour. Hopefully it was the latter, a weird incident and not a harbinger of what was to come.

Either way Levi was displeased.

With that two soldiers fly in, touching the tiles at Hange's side.

"Heichou. It's no use, we almost lost Sasha just going in as normal" Jean informs. Sasha, who was beside him, nods fervently, a little shaken. Your eyes set on Jean and your heart quivers in fear, hoping that his dismay had subsided.

"Tell me you have a plan" Levi orders, sounding inconvenienced more than anything as he crouches beside her "Altert" he beckons. Your blonde friend rushes past you, joining Heichou and Hange, speaking in hushed strategic tones.

"They are taller than usual" Oluo comments, gazing off into the distance.

"Why would they behave like that?" Eren questions to nobody in particular.

"Look how close they are" Petra breathes, in awe and uncertainty.

Mike sniffs the air in disapproval.

It is as this interaction carries, a panting Jean looks in your direction. You give him a soft smile, hoping for something in return. You got something; a foul look of hurt, piercing yours and deflating it. Levi can see the animosity unfolding as he meets your gaze between Hange's speaking and rising. His eyes shift, registering it. Annoyance at Jean slips over his lips and you give him a discreet deterrent of a look.

"It works" Levi agrees in a low voice, eyes flickering back over the map one last time.

"Right. We need to flush them out; two teams. Two pairs act as bait, heading in opposite directions. The supports in team have to make sure they don't get eaten" Armin explains, wide blue eyes encompassing you all as you circle the map.

"Once we drive them to here" Hange says, gesturing to at a market place "And here" indicating a town square about 200 feet away "We take them down. It is a shame we can't capture them"

"I don't like the way they behave" Levi dismisses sternly "They need to be destroyed. Besides, it is too risky since your last to subjects met an unfortunate end and we have yet to apprehend a culprit"

A haunted haze hovers over Hange as she concurs, you swear tears are in her eyes before she withdraws them. Coming to standing she looks everyone over, pointing as she selects the sub-teams.

"Jean you're covering Levi and _ with Petra and Eren heading for the market. Armin, you're with me and Sasha covering Mike and Connie" Hange ends decidedly.

"Gunther, Erd. Stay here with Oluo as back up" Levi instructs "If it goes to shit you know what to do"

Jean's hazel eyes wander over you as the soldiers take the orders. You can't bring yourself to meet it and instead opt to walk over to Levi. He is staring off to where the two Titans are moving back to back, they were not separating for more than 30 foot from one another as they attack amidst a few rogue 10 meter classes.

"_ stay on my flank" he orders quietly as you come up beside him on the roof edge. His eyes drop to look at you as he speaks, body unmoving. You nod, not tearing your eyes from the two Titans in the distance, captivated with confusion at their behaviour "Do not leave my sight" he adds conversationally. His presence sets your skin alight, the heat from his body this morning ghosting over you as he remains but an inch from you. You want to reach out for his hand, give it a squeeze but just as the group nears he shoots off. You and the new team follow with purpose.

* * *

The foul giant is on your course, stomping after you with malicious intent. Speeding through the air it rushes through your body with a deathly exhilaration. So far so good. It was only another 100 foot until you reached the market and everyone was in one piece. It had taken some effort but once separated, the Titans seemed to forget about one another and were more occupied with their teasingly close humans. Perhaps it was freakish circumstance that they were acting the way they did. Regardless, now was not the time to deliberate such things.

Yours, a large male with short hair and overly wide and absent eyes was hot on your heels. Levi was running along the side of building opposite you, its huge fingers a hairline away from his cloak. It made you feel sick how near it was to him but you had to focus. Sweeping across its path you catch the beast's attention. Racing along the roof above Levi, its steamy breath was on you, driving you forward, faster and faster. The stench would have made you gag of you were not so dead set on your mission. The whir of Levi's grip hooks sounds indicating his movement elsewhere.

Abruptly, the air turned cold, matching the grey clouds that covered the sky. Your brow furrowed, flinging it behind you; the Titan had become bored with you and Levi and was now chasing Jean for some bizarre reason. You send a glance to Levi as he pops back into your periphery, he was also observing Jean intently as he moved.

It was getting close.

Dangerously close.

Eren, who is now at your side senses the machinations of your mind set into place. He shakes his head warningly, green eyes fearful, before seeing a ten meter class in your new target's shadow. It was heading for Levi. Before you could even see it Eren dropped out of sight to assist. Petra was behind you and you tell her to follow Eren, just to be sure Levi was covered. As much as you resented your comrade, your friend, you couldn't let what was unfurling continue. You have to save Jean. It was too damn close to him. The course of action you are about to embark on was simply fulfilling your role as a diversion, except it was from Jean rather than the other Titan, or so you rationalise.

"No I'm staying behind you" she argues.

You hear Levi and Eren's blades unsheathing beneath and the sound of a monster falling, it settles the unease in your chest for a moment, rumbling to the ground with a quake. Wait. Why was Jean slowing down? He ducked ungracefully as the Titan made a grab for him, staggering awkwardly. The discomfort lodged in your throat, making it hard to breathe whilst your heart skipped a beat in a painful way; this was too familiar. Jean was trying to deploy his wires and nothing was happening. Stopping he skidded forward, regaining his balance. His expression had a flash of fear in it, that became known as you swung over, decision made before you could change your mind. Petra is shouting your name, it is followed by another.

"_!" Levi calls out after you from the ground, panic pierces his outburst along with the singing of his wires shooting in your direction from a great distance.

You press on, as the Titan turns back to its missed prey, launching feet first into Jean, kicking him off the edge of the roof. He falls down onto a lower level, unprepared, rolling across the tiles in a clatter of metal and clay and out of the Titan's grasp. Relief fills your lungs as you continue gliding to through the air, rounding skilfully on a chimney. It is then, as you wind around the stone, that your path is obstructed. Looming in the wake of the grumbling clouds was a large humanoid form, casting the most oppressive of dark shadows over you. Thunder rolled in the distance, the weight of the sky impressing on you just how tiny you were in comparison to your nemesis. The Titan obstructed your line of movement and seemed to close in the surrounding area to converge on you.

_'Where can I go? Where?'_

Your mind is drawing blanks as the wall of flesh grew nearer and nearer.

_'Fuck'_

You should have planned an exit, that is what you were told in week one if training for Maria's sake.

_'Hit the Titan or drop to the ground'_

Those were your only options and your eyes dart between the two too many times to count. It's fingers are now coming at you, vacant eyes set on your form.

With an intake of breath you retract your wires and drop fast, skipping like a rock over a lake as momentum carried you off the roof top. The loss of anything beneath you hitches your thoughts and nerves, stringing them high as you brace for impact on the ground. Something grabs your legs and with panicked eyes you look up to the sky for only an instant before your senses are shaken. The Titan is moving, swerving, running. You hear your team shouting around you, from all directions and distances while you are carried like a rag doll. Disorientated, you smack against a wooden terrace. You try to shield your face on impact, curling into yourself protectively. The crack of wood splitting echoes an internal agony that screams through your arms, you lose form, you lose your blades, bashing into everything in your vicinity. The roar of a Titan reverberates around you and the sound of flesh shredding shrieks in its rage as it races off again. There is an echo in the distance in a cacophony of commotion.

Then it all stills, your body retracting back like a slack piece of elastic as the world dips and rises. You are swinging, the motion is artless, where the ground and sky are is unknown. You open your eyes at the violent jerking, brain swilling in your skull. Sound is now drowning out, you hear some yelling and red is seeping into your vision. The houses are beneath you, along with the street. The cobbles are indistinct, distant, littered with debris. Determined, you force your sight to work, finding that the world is upside down and you are dangling helplessly from something. With that you are lifted higher again, a hot pressure on your ankle reminding you of your circumstance. Blearily, you look at your foot; and terror has you, _it_ has you.

The mouth of the Titan is parting and suddenly everything is quiet again, muffled by adrenaline and your erratic pulse. You are facing death and there is nothing that you can do to prevent it. No screams escape, no pleas, nothing. You simply stare at it, comprehending your situation with sudden clarity despite your splayed and sporadic senses. Your throat is dry even though you taste your own blood on your tongue.

A word forms on your lips. It is the one that dampens your fear with every heartbeat and summons courage in your soul. You let it permeate through you as it is the only coherence you can fully grasp.

"Levi"


	27. The Last Word

**So do we live? Ohhhhhhh...here...we...go...**

* * *

The Last Word

The last word of one's existence should be poignant. It would not do well to be begging, to pander to mankind's standing in the face of the Titans. You wanted a word that was strong, that filled you with courage and calm. Something that did not waver and did not break. The word that you had just uttered was the most important culmination of letters in your life, it was the pinnacle.

"Levi" you repeat, an accepting smile pulling at your mouth.

You delve into your memory, recalling him. His touch, his voice, his scent. Everything you were together and how wonderful he was. The heat of his body as you woke this morning. It was encompassing you now, filling you up. It was a naive thought but you could have gotten used to it. It was pricking your skin now, soothing it, coating you from the blistering heat of the Titan: a cocoon of assurance.

"I'm sorry Levi" you exhale, shutting your eyes tight, imagining his face and those beautiful grey eyes. You cry silently; by the gods you want to hold him. You want him whispering into your hair, telling you he was there, that he loved you and would always be with you. How you wished he had told you, that he did feel as you did. You hope you don't become a fleeting memory, that he doesn't forget you and whatever it was that you had. You will yourself to be in his heart, to watch over him.

The pressure on your ankle lessened and you feel the heat intensify.

Hell fire.

Falling.

Further and further.

There was no pain, only darkness. You could not bear to open your eyes for fear of seeing the inside of the beast that you had surely entered. Suddenly, you sense a presence wrap around your body. You blink, bewildered to see you were being carried through the air, dart your eyes up; Eren.

He is grasping hold of you with a ferociously set gaze on the middle distance. Teeth gritted there is titan blood searing and steaming off his face, falling behind you as you speed through the sky.

_'I'm alive?'_ you breathe, choking on the realisation.

Immediately you look back and see Levi rounding the abnormals shoulder. Its hand had been severed, charred on the ground while it clutched its mutilated limb in pain. He culled it quickly, slicing its neck with both blades. It was as though he was moving in water; the action appeared so slow. Nausea engulfs you as you knew the action was a lot faster. Perception, as purged as it is, told you Levi was following in Eren's wake before it even hit the ground. An almighty sound signifying its fall.

"Levi" you say in a gulp, trying to focus on his form. It was like he was becoming a shadow, indistinct in the red haze. What was this red? You try to lift a hand to touch your face but groan in pain.

"You're awake, thank Maria" Eren exhales at the sound, looking down at you "Hang on"

You land on the ground by the horses with a thud, the pain in your arm spasming as Eren holds you still. It confirms you are in one piece, or just about.

"Is Jean?" you manage, spluttering as he props you against the fence.

"Oluo and Petra have taken him back already" he informs, eyes wandering over you worriedly.

You sigh contently, it hurts. Everything hurts.

"We have to get you back to HQ" he states "Hange!"

She arrives and gasps at your wrist, blood dripping down it and onto the ground with a steady splatter "Your cloak Eren" she demands, binding it with a piece of wooden debris she finds. You look over yourself with delay. The red wasn't everything, just you. The smell of blood hit you as you came to this conclusion. It was over your legs, Levi's shirt, your hands. Where was it all coming from? Dizzied you clamped your eyes shut. A cough coagulated in your chest, the taste taking over your tongue. Wrestling with the cough you spit to the side, expelling the red liquid in disgust.

"Where is Heichou?" you ask Eren in a coarse croak, centring your panic and not really fully absorbing how profusely you were bleeding. Hange is too absorbed in tending to your arm to even lift her gaze. You see her lips move and feel Eren, tugging at your shirt. The fabric reef arches without much effort and presses it to your crown, green eyes gravely going to it. He wasn't listening. Why wasn't he listening? Hange's concerned eyes wander to your head as she continues binding your arm.

"Yeager!" you hear Levi call from somewhere "Fucking change, the other one isn't going down"

"Go Eren" Hange says in a low voice, taking over the pressure on your temple.

Eren rushes off reluctantly leaving you to look beyond the chaos at a lingering Levi. You can only see his silhouette before Hange has bundled you up on a horse with Gunther.

The unmistakable roar of Eren's Titan form rings through the town as you are taken away.

* * *

"Shit!" you seethe as Hange yanks out the final splinter from your right arm. It emerges just below the belt she'd fastened to minimise the blood flow. You are holding a fresh compress to your head, the cut turned out to be minute but apparently you happened to be 'a good bleeder' or so Gunther had commented on setting you down in the chair. Peeling it off you eye it over; thankfully it was slowing.

"Sorry" Hange apologises, not diverting her attentions. She lifts up your arm, running her fingers along it. You wince as she hits the wrist, where the incision ends. Her face formulates a frown "It looks worse than it is, Ithought that piece of wood was your bone in the mayhem. You just missed an artery"

You turn to the bowl of wooden, blood drenched shards on the desk. It clinks against the bottle of alcohol she is reaching for. It's been a good hour in Hange's office, having charged herself with the task of treating your wounds. The blood soaked attire was starting to become uncomfortable to sit in. Sticking to your skin, fusing the fabric of your uniform to you. It was still splayed over your face, itching as it dried, matting your hair. This paled in comparison to your gratitude for surviving with all limbs in tact.

She wipes over the gash in your arm with a now alcohol soaked rag. The pain is excruciating to a point where you start to weep. The cut, that is running along the flesh of your forearm, is a good half an inch deep. Ruby and crimson continues to seep from the exposed flesh, conquering the rag in her hand in a few moments

"Fucking hell" you whimper.

"I'd be lying if I said that this isn't going to hurt" she replies, getting her needles and thread ready.

Your stomach tightens, contorting. Everything in you wants to bolt but you know you must remain.

"You are lucky Levi went after you when he did" she says casually "I wouldn't be stitching you up but studying you in a glob of Titan vomitus"

Hange really had a way with words.

You nod fervently, taking the first stitch with a scream. You couldn't help it and Hange doesn't seem phased. However, a sound comes from the third person in the room.

"Then again Kirstein wouldn't be alive" she indicates with a sigh, going for the second stitch.  
Your flesh squelches together angrily, as though it didn't want to be reunited and bound "Thanks"

Your eyes wander to the bed behind her. Jean is sleeping, head bandaged. Solace at this served as a momentary distraction from Hange's work.

"Did he make it, Heichou?" you wince.

She pulls a quizzical expression as she sews "Of course, thankfully everyone made it back this time"

It is then the door slams open, making Hange jump. Luckily she had just tied off your stitches. She wipes over the wound with a fresh cloth, cleansing it.

"You done shitty glasses?" the visitor barks.

"Yes Levi, I've just got to dress her wound" she returns with a bit of bite.

"Give me the bandages" he demands, moving quickly to the side of her chair, bearing over her like a tumultuous cloud "You've done enough"

"Levi, how was I to know-" she started.

"Yours and Altert's half-assed plan nearly got a member of my squad killed" he states.

"You agreed to my half-assed plan, remember?" she hisses back, looking up to him and gripping the binding in fury. The fire in his eyes was not to be trifled with, it was reflected in Hange's glasses, blazing silently "You're needed in the basement, Eren is back" he dismisses, holding out an expectant hand.

Hange snuffs out of her nose, sensing one of Levi's rare but deadly rants emerging. Nobody wanted to experience it, nor witness it for fear of collateral. She planted the cloth in his hand, he snatched it irritably "I really am sorry _" she says, placing a hand on your shoulder, eyes sympathetic and wide.

"I know, it's okay Hange, it isn't your fault" you mumble, tearing your eyes between her and Levi. He hadn't even acknowledged you directly yet and was watching Hange leave, foreboding fiercely filling his features. It was rather frightening in comparison to his usual impassive expression. What made it worse was that it was definitely heading your way.

The door shuts and Levi takes to Hange's vacated seat.

"If she trained her squad better, this wouldn't have happened" he remarks with venom, not meeting your gaze. You stare at him softly, wanting to burst into tears of joy that you were sat her before him.

He looks over you as you don't make a sound, grey eyes tinged with a rose colour; you suppose it to be the blood coating you. His eyes fixate on the dark slash that was neatly fused together on your outstretched arm. You could hear his teeth grind and jaw set on observing it "You and that bloody arm" he growls irately, placing the bandages carefully on the desk. It threw you off, the stark contrast between his behaviour and voice.

"Are you angry at me or something?" you return. He refuses to meet your eyes again as he takes off the belt on your arm and starts to tear the fabric with his teeth.

"You disobeyed a direct order" Levi reminds you, winding it ready around his fingers. The motion was horrendously similar to last night and yet so far from it that you felt disorientated.

"I couldn't very well let him die" you indicate, gesturing to Jean with your fine hand "You saw it coming too, don't deny it"

He clicks his tongue irritably, placing the dressing over your ruined skin. You wince at the initial contact and he takes hold of your wrist. Unknowingly, you assume as his expression is serious, Levi's thumb traces back and forth over your palm as he takes hold of it.

"Are you jealous?" you pluck from the air, lowering your voice to a whisper.

His eyes glower over to the unconscious Jean on the bed "Do I have reason to be?"

You don't respond. That was ridiculous. You weren't even going to grace that insult with a response. Did he forget how you were last night? How you told him again that you loved him and once again you were met without a reciprocation. It angered you, frustrated you.

"I don't want to lose you because of some _irrational_ _impulsive_ _behaviour_" he tells you obstinately, words low and lips thin. He is now winding the cloth efficiently around your wound. His words sound like lead pellets yet his grasp remains gentle. The statement takes you by surprise, both in oddly placed content and annoyance.

"I thought you liked that about me?" you counter lightly, a hint of pointedness piercing your words.

"When you aren't in harm's way" he rationalises with an exhale, the white hot severity of his eyes cooling. They flit to yours for a second then back to your arm and inspecting his work. His expression is still fraying with discontent and rage.

"No missions or training for 3 weeks" he says in an offish manner.

"But-" you counter.

"That is an order" he overrides, still cupping your hand in his palms.

"I'll be fine, its only a cut. Hange said once the scar has healed-" you correct.

"No" he cuts you off, his voice raised. This stumps you. He has never raised his voice in such a way "Just because we are" he pauses, leaving you hanging on his words desperately. He seems to be deciding something as his countenance shifts slightly "Do not test me, _" he discerns. His eyes have hit yours, halting your breath. Severe silver slices through the air.

"Sorry, _Heichou_" you snap.

It is then his glare shuts down to the impenetrable and impassible it usually holds "3 weeks cadet" he repeats, releasing your arm "Ral will be in to help you clean up. My word is final" he continues bitterly, blustering out the room.

It takes a second but a tear trickles down your face taking some of the blood with it, sadness swells in your heart as you sit there, the sound of Jean's breathing being the only thing keeping you from breaking down entirely.

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews guys! I hope you enjoyed this one...nearly killed me to give us an argument with Levi...gahhhh...**


	28. Interim

Interim

The water ran red, pooling at your feet before disappearing down the drain. You placed your foot over the plug, causing it to fill and let tide lines form on your feet as you released it. It glugged into nothingness. Bizarre as it was, not that you had noticed, the action paralleled Levi's presence in your life. He filled you up until he consumed you completely; your thoughts, your actions, everything and then, now, it was all slipping away, leaving you with marks and remnants. You were an empty basin just letting the water run, impervious, numb, unable to cling to it. You watch the water becoming less clouded as the minutes passed, soon running clear like the rain outside. It was blustering, wailing, echoing through the castle. It echoed the emotions you refused to let surface. You had shut them off, seared them closed as though a flesh wound. The cuts and grazes up your back had stopped stinging, singeing. It was a shame, the pain affirmed that you were still alive and had the ability to feel.

Petra, who was unusually quiet, waited patiently on the other side of the curtain. She had run into an irritate Lance Corporal on her way to see you and was now witnessing unresponsive behaviour from you too. She hadn't got anything out of either of you but must have figured you were still in shock and Levi...well he was just being Levi. She hadn't pressed you, just let you be. You knew she wanted to speak to you, you could feel it in the air. However, the last thing you wanted to do was talk unless it was to Levi. That wasn't going to happen though, not any time soon.

Your tears join the fall of water, mingling, getting lost in it of their own accord. You wanted to wash away today, scrub it from your skin, erase it from your mind. He had ended it, of that you were certain.

"Are you okay?" she finally asks as your emotions overwhelm you.

"No" you weep meekly.

You hear her shuffling, grabbing a towel and turning the water off. She offers it to you, looking away and waiting until you were decent.

"Petra it's over" you sniffle, raking back the material across the rail, clutching the towel around you. Your body felt weak, wasted, it was all hitting you at once and this realisation was simply pushing it over the edge.

"Levi and I" you attempt, face creasing into itself as your heart stammers.

You feel her embrace you tightly, like a mother would, allowing you to cry for a few minutes and wetting her uniform with your damp body in the process.

"You can tell me all about it when we get you warmed up and dressed, hm? A cup of tea too?" she offers softly, eyes searching for yours. You nod as she guides you with a gentle sad smile out of the shower and over to the fresh pile of clothing she had prepared for you.

* * *

Sleep had come from exhaustion. Petra and you hadn't had your chat as she spied your eyelids lulling shut as she fussed about in the kitchen. Like any good friend, no...she was not just any good friend...she understood you more than you did. Wordlessly she had abandoned the tea and taken you by the hand to your quarters, prepped your bed and practically tucked you in. She always seems to know what needed to be done, call it female intuition or whatever; it was a gift that you would have to thank her for when you weren't wallowing in the mess you'd created. You had murmured a quick thank you to which she smiled, not that you saw as fatigue worked its magic.

The next morning you felt sore. The sunlight seeping through the window causing you to wince on waking. For a brief second you forgot what had passed. It was when you leant on your forearm to rise it all came flooding back.

"Fuck" you grit irritably, cradling your arm as you shimmied to a seated position.

You lull your head back against the wall, gazing at the ceiling in defeat with a heavy heart.

"I want to check on her"

"No. She might be asleep"

"Shut up Petra. I need to see her, she could be up by now"

"Oi! Don't get chopsy with me young man"

"I'm only a few years younger than you!"

With that the door clicked open and Eren popped his head around it. His searching green eyes lit up on reaching your face, a small smile spreading ear to ear.

"See I told you she'd be up" he told Petra, looking behind the door before entering.

Petra's soft smile met your stoic countenance after a second. She shut the door behind you, the pair of them eyeing you gently. You couldn't help it but tears formed in your eyes, falling silently. They both rushed over, Eren embracing you gingerly whilst Petra sat at your feet worriedly. That was when it all came tumbling out, when her hand rested on your blanket coated ankle.

Petra was reeling by the time you were done, her face flushing near the same colour as her red hair "He should be thankful you are alive" she muttered resolutely.

"I am so angry at him" Eren seethes "I can't do anything about it though..."

"You'll get disciplined or worse sent to the military police for dissection" Petra warns, cutting him off.

"No, she'll kill me" Eren replies, nodding at you as he holds your good hand. His bright orbs linger on yours for a moment, speaking with a resignation in his voice "You love him don't you?"

"It doesn't matter anymore if I do or don't" you comment under your breath, not allowing your expression to crumble. You'd done enough of that yesterday.

"You've got a nasty bruise or two" Petra indicates to the mark below your breast bone, changing the subject. You eye it, keeping its true nature to yourself. You don't want to admit it but you want him. Right now, holding you. You miss his touches, his breath, his eyes. Despite his behaviour and despite it all.

"Has he said anything?" your ask the pair.

Petra nudges Eren to speak. You look to him hopefully "He hasn't spoken to anyone since the mission"

It is at this there is a tentative rap on your door. Everyone stilled, eyes darting to one another before drifting to it. Your heart pounds, lips thinning with hope.

"Come, come in" you respond weakly.

A familiar face appears but it is not the one you were expecting.

"Armin?" you breathe. His wide blue eyes are filled with tears as they take you in, orbs shaking, quivering like a leaf in the wind.

"_?" he whispers, entering the room. His footsteps creak on the floorboards, Eren and Petra gauging your reactions and his slowly flailing composure. Armin's eyes have fixated in your arm as he stood before you, flashing with a terror he was reliving in his mind.

Unlatching your hand from Eren's you take his, meeting his turmoil ridden gaze with a small smile.

"It was my fault, not yours" you discern with conviction.

His eyes, that had hardened into glinting a sapphires softened, mouth parting as he gripped your fingers "It was my plan, I-"

"You couldn't have accounted for the Titan going after Jean instead of me and L. Heichou" you swallow, sensing Eren's brow setting "You couldn't have accounted for my decision to go after Jean. Armin you are a great tactician, even the best cannot forsee such variables. Do not lose belief in yourself because I wasn't quick enough"

He looks at you incredulously "I can't believe you can forgive me with your arm bound up like that"

"It's about the only thing I am capable of it seems" you say, words saturated with deeper meaning that most of the room were able to gather. Petra nods comfortingly whilst Eren's eyes sadden.

"Come on we better let you rest" he says, rising "Hange said to stay here for a couple of days to recuperate"

You are left with encouraging smiles and promises of food and tea after the day's training. When the room is vacated the hollow ache in your heart fills it.

* * *

Each time the door opens you hope it is him. The three of them must be getting tired of your disappointed face as they bring you food and tea along with tales of the day. They pass, marked with pretty much the same stories in terms of routine. Your visits seemed to be the only things interrupting the limbo you have found yourself situated in. When you brave asking about the man who consumes your every thought you are met with the same answer, that he is stern as always, a bit more irritable if anything and operating with a short temper and an even shorter fuse. You begin to question if time is actually passing or has just come to a standstill. Without the what had been the centre of your world for this whirlwind of passion you were at a loss, unsure of what was to come. You were lucky to have those who cared for you because in all honesty you didn't, not any more. Being cooped up wasn't doing you any favours. Not that boredom was an issue, just the incapacity to do anything. You could not ask Levi if he was okay because you were stuck in this bloody room and what's more were replaying the same scenes over and over again in your head attempting to come to terms with what had happened. It was tiring, as was waking up to realise you were crying. When Friday came you were thankful to be helping Hange with menial tasks such as organising her paperwork; at least you will be occupied then rather than dwelling on Levi completely.

It becomes apparent that evening, when you reluctantly enter the dining hall for the first time since the fiasco, that what you had suspected in your solitude was true. You had questioned more than anything how deep his feelings had run. The fact he you'd seen neither hide nor hair of Levi since your blowout was a pretty obvious indication to a bitter verification. Matched with the fact that he never said 'I love you' it left it as a singular possibility; that maybe he never did. It makes you feel like shit because you know every set of eyes in the room are on you except his and it adds conviction to this end. No other enters your boggled mind. It was loud. Too loud. Too loud to think, to concentrate. Inhaling you focus on an objective; food and out. People ask how your arm is; the boys are impressed and are flitting a round like you are some badass warrior, which you most certainly weren't, while the girls are intrigued about why you had done such a thing. What did ring through all this was that they were all thankful you had saved Jean. This annoyed you.

He still hadn't woken but everyone was acting as though he was back to normal. Fighting fit even. But he was far from it. You'd not been permitted to visit yet but Hange's reports to you didn't sound promising. A week had passed and your stitches were out and yet Jean hadn't improved or depreciated.

"Worth saving your boyfriend then?" Oulo remarks, taking a bite out of his roll.

"He isn't my boyfriend" you grit as you pass the head table at which Levi is seated, food in hand.

"Nobody would take a leap like that for less. I mean come on, you practically handed yourself over to that Titan_" he noted, taking a seat beside you.

"Oluo just leave it, yeah?" Petra interrupts from the other side of him.

"Alright Ral, cool your heels. Was just curious" he backtracks wearily.

"Yeah curiosity got you a fat lip last time didn't it?" Mike snuffed, sitting down with a pile of post opposite.

At this you stood, abandoning your dinner of which you had managed a bite or two before wandering off out the hall. A hand held to your brow and muttering under your breath you try to banish all the memories swilling through your head, straining your mind.

"Now look what you did" Eren hissed at Oluo.

"Petra these are for Heichou" Mike mentioned casually, sliding over the satchel of envelopes.

Petra would have said something if she weren't looking to the head table. A certain Captain was staring after the door you had just exited from in the most discreet of ways. She slowly turned back, taking the letters as Oluo continue grumbling.

"Not my fault she's being miserable. Between her and Heichou our unit is becoming a barrel of fucking laughs isn't it?"

It is as he said this Mike caught her eye. He sniffed, darting his eyes to Levi then back at her with a glint in them; deep thought and direction meeting her amber gaze.

Petra nodded quietly, busying herself with her food, casting a glance over her shoulder back at Levi. He was rising and leaving the room through the other set of doors. She rose, without explanation, following after him. Slinging the letter satchel over her shoulder, she put a comforting hand on Armin's back before departing, determination set on her face.

"Where the fuck is Ral going?" Oluo sighs.

Mike simply looks back to his food, feigning ignorance.

* * *

"You...are a fucking idiot" she announces, bursting into the office with purpose.

"You are speaking to your Commanding officer Ral, need I remind you again" he dismisses, not even bothering to lift his head from signing off papers. The lights scraping of his pen on paper is the only sound that fills the room for a few minutes. Petra stands there, waiting in the doorway expectantly. She clears her throat as chatter from the hall passes by.

Levi doesn't acknowledge her and continues writing.

Petra often wore her emotions on her face, this moment was not an exception by any means. Disbelief and irritation was etched into her usually gentle demeanour; brow and lips were taught and her nose wrinkled and wrought with wrath. Her little nostrils flared as she exhaled roughly, slamming the door shut behind her.

Levi didn't even flinch.

If he wasn't going to talk to her properly then fine. She wasn't going to play ball; this was serious.

"Why are you doing this, really?" Petra demanded indignantly, walking up to Heichou in fury "I saw you a watching her at dinner, you could hardly tear your eyes away for more than a few seconds"

"I don't know what you are talking about" he continues, sealing a letter without a care or glance to spare.

"Levi, you are miserable. Admit it" she enforced, slamming her petite palms on his desk as though attempting to jolt his eyes up to meet hers.

"Is that all, Petra?" Levi sighs, taking a fresh leaf of paper.

"I'm here to collect your letters for inner city and these are for you" she resigns, feeling like a child who's father was waiting her to run out of steam as she had a paddy. He wasn't going to get away with acting like an absolute prick this time, despite being in control now. The way he was treating _ was downright ridiculous and unwarranted. All she had done was save her friend, yes she had disobeyed orders but that was reason to give her a disciplinary not cut her off and leave her out to dry. Petra deposited the contents of the satchel on his desk and crossed her arms with a huff.

Sifting through a pile of addressed envelopes on his desk and selecting a few silently, Levi adds the recently written one to the stack. He hands them out to her sharply, finally meeting her stare with a distant glaze. Her amber eyes seared into his with no avail. He had that familiar front occupying the grey, sealing off his thoughts. Petra had seen this quietly defiant look before. It was one he used after unsuccessful missions, when their comrades had fallen and the dead most definitely outnumbered the living. It was unnecessary now, she knew as well as Levi that his behaviour had said everything; there was nothing to hide. He had not been the same since they had returned. She took the post with equal pointedness, stuffing it in the bag and stalking toward the door.

"Do you know why I committed myself to you Heichou? To your unit?" Petra says, lingering. She doesn't expect him to answer so continues speaking, looking to his impassive face. To her surprise it is stuck on her still "Because despite all the stories I heard about you, all the apparent unfeeling decisions you'd made in the name of the cause and continue to make… how strictly you adhere to your duties...I saw that you are a good man beneath it all. You care Levi and there aren't many of us who know that and fewer who witness it first hand. Not even all of us in your unit, those who like to think they are closest to you, have had that privilege…I daresay that you have not had such a privilege reciprocated and are uncertain of yourself. I say this because I respect you deeply" she breathes a sigh, summoning all her purpose in her amber eyes, aligning them with his cold steel "She really misses you Heichou" Petra ends "And if you aren't careful you'll miss her"

"Get those letters to the convey, they will surely be leaving soon" is all that Levi says without any sign of reaction to her words, voice deadpan.

Petra's eyes shimmer, disappointed and disbelieving. She swallows her reservations and disparate thoughts, collecting herself and the shred of respect remaining for Levi in her heart "Heichou" she nods, excusing herself from his presence because she feels as though she does not know her commander and friend at all, not any more.

* * *

"It's healed up fine, if you had an infection it would be showing there" Hange answers your concern in week three of your lock out from Levi. You'd been feeling peaky and still weren't sleeping.

"Is there anything else?" she asks, peering over the rims of her glasses with concern.

You shake your head in dismay.

'_Not now'_ your mind tells you.

"Perhaps a walk, some fresh air will clear your head. You have been bunged up in this castle for a while" she suggests "You're fine to get back to duty, when you're ready that is"

Hange gives you a hopeful smile and you leave, taking her recommendation on board.

* * *

Your wandering takes you to the courtyard, the evening air filling your lungs and blowing out the cobwebs within a few breaths. A ruckus sounds from the stables, catching your attention. You jog over to see Jess attempting to calm a rearing Kahini. She was having an almighty strop, kicking her stall confines petulantly.

"Oh _, I was meaning to come and get you" Jess begins, exasperated "Its Kahini, she's acting up"

There she is, acting as pissed off as you feel.

"I can see that" you agree, going up to your horse.

"Hey" you coo, putting out your hands. She shakes her head, nickering before slowly submitting to your stroking touch "She's restless" you note, quietly, meeting her large chestnut eyes with a comforting smile. She seems pleased to see you, the wild look in her eye winding down as you open the door and head in "I need to take her out for a ride, tonight" you tell Jess, concerned gaze moving from her and to him. His expression is weary, eyes fixated on the nasty maroon mark on your fore arm "It's healed, ask Hange if you must…" you yank the fabric of your sleeve down "I'll give her a good run"

"May I join?" an indifferent voice requests from behind you.

* * *

**Sorry about the delay guys, and it's a build up rather than a resolution, had a bit of a mission doing this chapter so it flows well; I hope it does! Love you all! Update will be very soon as I can't wait aha and as always reviews sustain my existence :)**


	29. What we knew to be true all along

**Ahhhh my. Oh my. Who's it gonna be? Tehehe, I think you guys know but what will transpire...  
Cheers for the support as always my lovely cadets; I hope you enjoy. Let me know if you do!**

* * *

What we knew to be true all along

"May I join?" an indifferent voice requests from behind you.

You whip your head around as Jess flings into a salute. As you suspected Levi is standing there in the gateway. He has adopted his usual stance with his hands behind his back, the tangerine light of the sun adding clarity to his unmistakable silhouette. It takes you a moment to register his presence as it feels almost alien to have him directly address you.

"At ease Jess" he nods, excusing the stable hand turned soldier. Jess sort of passes on the nod, sending you one before disappearing. You are left with an uncomfortable silence and decide to answer his impassive expression with an averted glance. As much as you've wanted to see him since the mission you feel like his presence is invasive. You'd got used to being on your own and your horse needed you. You knew how it felt to be ignored and didn't want to impose that on a horse, let alone another human.

"Unless I'm imposing" he adds, sensing your hesitation and walking nearer. It was as though he was in your head as speaks, electrifying the air around you. His features come to light, just as nonchalant as always. Your heart lurches in your chest at his proximity and the lead eyes that linger over you.

"No. Not at all" you assure, not meeting those magnetic eyes and busying yourself by stroking Kahini.

_'God he still has control over me' _you immediately chastise yourself.

Your mind had essentially been a punching bag since your argument, berating one's self wasn't an unfamiliar sensation it just inspired the same dull ache in the pit of your stomach. Occupying yourself, you let your fingers continue run over the satin planes of Kahini's coat, holding onto your reservations with all your might.

You hear Levi shift his weight on his feet, the hay shuffling slightly as you keep your eye of your stead "Good. There is something I wish to discuss with you" he replies, casually.

By the time you turn your head Levi has vanished. You poke it out the stable to see him greet Dante, smoothing his ebony coloured head with an occupied expression. You watch him for a few moments, taking in his profile with curiosity before he unlocks the gate and leads the stead out the stall.

You followed suit, mounting your horses without words. Throughout the entirety of this you could feel Levi's heavy hooded eyes on you, following your every movement. It was becoming stifling, inspiring a tension in your body. A steel rod had taken place of your spine and you were almost struggling to appear calm and unaffected. Wrapped up in this and your whirling thoughts sweat forms on your skin. Apparently you were exuding a lot of effort, this was drummed home by the irregular palpitations of your broken heart. Grimacing you stare up into the evening sky, dusted with red and orange, as though searching for relief. Dante's hooves clipped and clopped across the yard, Levi going to unlatch the paddock gate. It is as this happens something overcame you, something undefinable and desperate at the same time. You find yourself cantering past him, bounding over it and down the path to the fields.

You simply stare straight ahead, focusing on Kahini. She was relishing the fresh air as much as you, swaying her neck as the scent of the field flushes your cheeks. You could feel her relaxing, picking up speed, tearing through the tall grass.

"You are annoyed at me" he comments, catching up to you.

Your eyes remain fixated ahead, disregarding him completely and speeding up.

"Don't ignore me _" Levi calls, edging his ride forward as to keep pace.

"You really want to talk about ignoring people?" you dismiss in a shout, looking onwards. Trees lined the edge of the horizon, a final barrier to break. You could feel every negative sensation slipping from you with the sight of it and the scent of the fresh night air subduing your frustrations. Invigorating didn't quite describe the mixed feelings within but it spurred you on faster.

"Yes, now will you fucking _stop_ galloping?!" he requests bluntly, coming up at your side. You throw him a look, his raven hair clinging to his features with the speed you were going.

Pressing on you end up sighing with inconvenience; bringing Kahini to an unimpressed stand still as he cuts you off. She settles after a whinny, furiously flicking her mane about whilst you still refuse to look Levi in the face.

Instead, your eyes thin on the nearby woodland ruefully before gazing at him properly. He's giving you a thoughtful expression, the one a step away from indifference. Well at least it was a step. It's a familiar look to the one he'd given you on the roof all that time ago; as penetrating as it was sharp. Resistance and persistence is all you see in it and that isn't enough for you. Disheartened you turn Kahini to the side, heading for one of the dirt paths near the woods in a slow walk. She snuffs indignantly, aggravated that she was stopped, as though she was placing emphasis on her annoyance and your own.

"You've not spoken to me in three weeks Levi" you start, an anger bubbling in your chest. It was born from your isolation, your melancholy and it carried this weighting with every syllable. This seems to incite movement, trotting next to you to catch up.

"I was being your Captain" he differentiates, walking his horse beside yours and taking your statement in his stride.

You hadn't considered that but decide you still have grounds to be furious and upset with him as you come under the shade of the trees. All that sounds is the horses hoofs crunching a twig every now and then, along with their calming breathing. Eyes focused ahead you dare not look at him out of uncertainty. After such abandon it was hard to recall how to behave around your Captain. Your mind was conflicted, deciding what to do and you knew that looking at his handsome face will decimate your affront completely. The scent of the foliage around you swells in your lungs, moist and cool in its tranquility and that was tempering your maddened state, as much as you were bristled with it.

"Admittedly I was angry at you for being reckless" he admits sincerely into the serenity "for which I apologise" he lets that linger as you make your way through the pines, catches of dusk illuminating the path and the clearing to come "As much as I despise saying this, I am _envious_ of Kirstein"

He is looking ahead also, silver set beyond the fauna "and the loyalty you have to him" he adds in an undertone, almost spitting the realisation out in disgust. You cast your wide eyes in Levi's direction at this, his lips are taught as though agitated that he had let that slip. He meets you with a guilty grey, feeling your stare on him. It is as though the something else that was missing before was hiding behind the gauze of colour. That was it. Just as you predicted. You knew in your heart what you felt, despite determination not to and that he was sorry.

"Levi" you start, giving him a look of absolution.

"Good" he says, taking your forgiveness before you can change your mind. His grey eyes look over to you, absorbing your face as you come to the lakeside clearing. Both of you bring your horses to standing, meandering your attentions to the body of water: a lilac expanse that silkily reflected the cloudless sky above. It was peaceful, more so you belief from the forest having filtered your surface issues. You hear Levi inhale as your heart sighs, taking in the sight.

"So what else is wrong?" he asks gently, sounding less formal "I thought you would have come and confronted me by now for being jealous ass"

As much as you don't want to a smirk tugs at your lips. You sense his eyes searching it, awaiting your words to fathom. The clinking of Kahini's bridle distracts you for a moment and you release her reins allowing her to graze. Clutching the leather of your saddle you consider your approach, how to describe the way he made you feel and why you'd essentially given up on this...whatever it was..._this_ was the point you didn't know. That seemed as good a place as any to begin.

"I thought you didn't want to talk to me because you hadn't said that-" you stop yourself, rooting your heels into your stirrups further, setting your eyes on the lake's surface. This was like lobbing a stone into it, the ripples would disrupt the surface, alter it. You can only hope it would rectify what had passed. You bite your bottom lip in deliberation and a patient Levi is still quiet "I don't want to force it out of you" you say, suddenly embarrassed, diverting your gaze to water before flickering it back to him.

A surreptitious silver stare slips into your own and you find it to be soft and oddly open. You didn't know it until now but you had only seen fragments of this before, that warmth was radiating out, more present than it had ever been before. Levi, right now, was giving you all of his undivided attention, unwaveringly so. It confirmed he cared, after all he wouldn't be here if he didn't. That, however, still wasn't enough, you yearned for more "I just want to know where I stand" you resign "I told you how I felt and as much fun as we had…you never-"

He considers this, all encompassing eyes closing in on yours.

"Felt?" he repeats, interrupting you. It was a vulnerable word, a vulnerable utterance that conveyed his understanding of the situation to you. It was incorrect of course: you could never be rid of the intrinsic way he had become tethered to you, your life, even if it was unreciprocated. You give him a look, the look you gave him after your first kiss; full to capacity with all the devotion in your heart. You hope to rectify his reading what was going on. He exhales, bringing his horse around so you are facing one another, side by side.

"_" he starts heavily "I know how to be a soldier. I know how to survive. I don't like to speak about my past as I am not proud of it. But it was a time when sentiment was forgotten, or kept to one's self for preservation's sake. The same can be said with fear. Being me, being 'humanities strongest' " he snuffs the title with a curve of his smirk, satire sitting on it comfortably "it works for that too"

You watch the man you love carefully as he speaks so frankly, unease entering your stomach. What was he going to say? Was this it? Was it over? You could not guess what he was going to do as usual, his eyes betraying nothing which does nothing for your erratic heart and raw nerves.

"It worked until _you_" Levi amends, leaving room for a gentle breeze to roll between you. It tumbles into your anxiety, feeding it "You. Us."

You suddenly realise you are none the wiser as to wether you were to lose him or what was to come. Unsure where this is going, you let him continue, brow furrowing slightly. He is undeterred by this and speaks with mounting solidity "It terrifies me that I could lose you in an instant, and if I say..."

"Don't say it if you don't mean it" you brandish, the last thing you want is a false proclamation of his feelings. It would be worse than none at all or a retraction of it from your life completely.

"Do I look like someone who says anything they do not mean" he responds, lead eyes latched on your (e/c). Levi had a point. He wasn't one to overindulge in speech, dress anything up or speak simply to hear the sound of his own voice. Every word he uttered in that velvet tone was said with purpose. You are shaking internally, doubt diminished with his certainty and conviction.

"I didn't want to admit to myself how deeply my feelings for you run in case you were lost and I was left with only the truth in my heart and a shade of a memory that will fade no matter how desperately I cling to it" his eyes are on your maroon scar that is peering out from your cuff. His expression seems to harbour past horrors that you couldn't even comprehend. Levi lingers there before following the mark to your sleeve and up to your face.

It is speechless. You can't say anything, rendered mute. He says so little but how he has a way with words, not like before, not in a provocative sense but this...it was so elegant and beautiful it nearly tore your heart in two all over again. Levi directs his horse closer and he lifts your head up to meet his eyes that you had parted from. The contact is delicate, tender, your skin melting to his touch and revitalised by it. His voice follows as a hush, divulging his words to you "But if I don't say what I've known to be true all along, I could lose you before you're gone...and for that idiocy I could never forgive myself"

There was a pause. A long pause that expanded beyond the space between you, spreading through your heart and body, stilling everything. Even the light breeze had fallen silent as he looked at you, silver eyes saturated with what he was on the verge of saying.

"I love you" Levi tells you.

It is as though everything in your life had been leading to this moment. Your heart melts at its arrival, unable to cope as you smile, start crying all the while staring into that secure warmth. It is not being reserved or held from you. It is unbridled and all for you. Your Levi. Truly yours.

"I love you too" you breathe, tears streaming as you are unable to hold them in.

He smiles and it lights up your world. It is gentle and loving, vocabulary you have never been able to describe as gracing his face fully. His eyes dart to your lips and he leans forward, gingerly kissing you whilst banishing your tears away with his thumbs. You put your weight into it, taking hold of his neck, hands roaming over the fabric of his cravat and shirt collar, clutching him longingly.

Levi exhales with relief, not moving far from your mouth. You've never seen him like this before, his shut eyes reverting him to a young boy you wish you'd met and not the strong man you had grown accustomed to. He kisses you again and again, fingers curling into your hair with a desperation, clinging to you, lids not lifting. It is as though if he opens them everything would cease. At this the horses shift a little breaking you apart. His full black lashes, that you have never paid much attention to, too focused on what they framed, flutter open, observing the object of his desire. Meanwhile you pull Kahini back and dismount, missing this and tie her to a fallen log.

"What are you doing?" he questions.

"Get off your horse" you order, unbuttoning your shirt as you wander down the small hill and closer to the lake. He obeys, funny that. You see the cogs in his head turning over as he ties his stead beside yours. It is as though he is attempting to put a puzzle together but is being distracted, losing the pieces or muddling them up.

You stop a few feet short of the placid water, the cool air reflecting off it as it hits your bare skin.

"Here?" he asks, stepping nearer.

You look over your shoulder to him "Not exactly hygienic" he notes, looking at the floor.

"Unless you want to wait till we get back?" you confirm, ripping off your shirt and tossing back at him. He catches it without diverting his gaze and in a singular hand.

"Any time Levi?" you smirk, coining his phraseology from your first proper exchange.

His lips twitch with your tease, eyes consuming you from afar. You don't have a chance to raise your eyebrow to bring him nearer. It takes but few strides before Levi captures you in his arms, bringing long absent content to your heart.


	30. Rekindle

**For all my new author follows; I've been inundated with them and story favourites so this is dedicated to you! I hope you enjoy this, I'm feeling so elated!**

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Rekindle

Levi holds you there in his wondrous arms, crashing his lips to yours as though tomorrow may not come. You smile into them, inhaling his wonderful scent as his hands roam over your bare back. The nicks of the fall still mark you but he seems unfazed as his fingertips smooth over them; as though to press them out of your skin with want. If there were to be no sun rising on that horizon in the hours to come you could accept the impending darkness without argument under his touch. It ignites you, rekindles a part of you that had grown dormant in your separation.

"You'll catch a cold" he comments, forehead lulling against your own, winding his arms tighter as though to shield you from the cool wind. His words break your thoughts with aid of those penetrating eyes. Had they always been so able to permeate your heart and instil momentum beyond capture? Time served as a dilution of such things, the silver was duller in your dreams.

You don't respond verbally to shine of his stare and speech, instead kissing the join between his neck and jaw. Levi makes a noise, exhaling with the contact and leaning into it. His fingers slide under your bra in reaction as you push onto your tiptoes, bringing your mouth up, fingers claiming his ebony hair. You speak as softly as the haze of twilight sifts the sky above "Better keep me warm then, hadn't you Levi-chan?"

His eyes continue to twinkle like the starlight hanging overhead as you drift yours across the contour of his cheekbone and abiding it like a prayer. You lower yourself slowly, as the sun had done moments ago when submerging itself for the night. A missed sight occupied by Levi. Noting this, a thought crosses his mind. You see it, slipping through sumptuous silver like his hands that slip off your back. He unties his cloak, moving a few steps away and allowing his chivalrous nature to dictate his movements. On laying the cloth down, he looks you over firm eyes fading into something else as he offers his hand. You take it and find you are guided by Levi's grasp and the playful smirk dancing across his face. He spins you around, pirouetting you gracefully and takes your waist, holding you once more in the safest place in the world. You have never danced and there was no music, but somehow you didn't require it as you stared up to Levi in his tender hands. You position yours curiously complying to his behaviour.

He smirks at your dubious expression, taking the lead in your private ballroom. You stumble a few steps, preoccupied with your footing, to which he tuts, commanding your focus with his steel eyes.

"Up here" he instructs plainly.

Within a few seconds you are echoing his grace unwittingly, his fingers entwining with yours as you come to a halt "I promised you romance, did I not?" is his reply to your hesitant face.

Pulling your bodies flush Levi seizes your middle, lifting you in a twirl above him. He chuckles as you smile, collapsing into him and meeting the ground unsteadily "my balance is still off" you admit bashfully, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you take to the floor. His eyes don't part from you as he follows you now, his chaste kiss catching you on the way down. Clambering over him in high spirits that smirk is reignited and Levi's rare laughter subsides; the earth giving way and shifting under your bodies as you settle. You remain there, touching his face, tracing its handsome form. In admiration you covet the strength of his jawline, the little crease in his forehead from all his frowning and now the longing thinning of his lips.

A flicker of sadness invades your doting, a reminder of an errant thought that your would never see him at this proximity again. It had reared its ugly head more than once over the past few weeks, discouraging you every time it made itself known in the depths of night and disparaging distant dreams. You recall the empty grey that stared back at you in those warped imaginings, a visual of that agony ailing you as it is now, filtering betwixt this love and joy. It was like some detoxification process, a purging of your mind from doubt. It supplements that if you didn't have the bad then the good would not taste so sweet or so vital and recovers your countenance. However Levi, being Levi spied the flicker of this inner turmoil across your face.

"Hey" he comforts, catching it with his palm as he cups your cheek. His other smooths the small of your back, summoning your worries.

"I've missed you" you answer to his unsaid question, lulling into his hand, relishing the sensation.

He smiles up at you gently "I missed you more,_" he divulges "That day, if-"

Levi's eyes hold a weariness that wrenches the end of the sentence away from him. Out of habit he buried it, instead filling the vacancy with a desperate kiss. Rawness ached your heart with happiness and told you all you needed to know; that you yearned for more.

In his abandon, Levi begins grabbing at your remaining clothes and you disrobe him. He makes for your zip feverishly, slipping your trousers and underwear to your ankles, not even bothering to removing them fully. He clutches your thighs wantonly, biting on your lip as you make to move. You lift yourself, going for his collar with your lips, once he finally relented his bite on them, whilst your hands busy themselves with his lower half. A moan escapes your mouth in the midst of this heat. Hungrily you rip open his shirt, just enough to expose his ivory skin. The same went for his trousers. The cravat remained, loosened albeit and in the escalation it whispers a caress across the fell of your cheeks. It slows you as he shimmies the remaining fabric barriers, allowing you access to him. It is as he brings your hands from his chest to his mouth that you find yourself again. Levi looks at you, lovingly taking each finger and pressing a kiss to it.

Overcome you ease onto him and break his control. His gentle grip tightens on your hands. For you it was as easy as breathing and came with an apt a breath. You gave Levi no warning, it was apparent, his body was ready but his eyes seemed to be playing catch up. They dart at you with a murmur. It seemed to signify all the hurt and pain, all the time you'd missed one another, releasing it into the ether. Entangled fingers culminate.

Levi groans, as you rise and fall, his hands now supporting you where he can clutch tighter. You are sure he is littering your skin with fresh bruises but welcome them, squeezes and traces mingle to make for a saturated experience. You moan his name in a plea, his heat searing you from within. Everything was constricting, your walls, his pressured hold on you. It bizarrely meant you were unfurling, coming to a close. His ragged breathing lets you know he is near, a false crest jolts your over him, guided by his grasp. You steady yourself with a hand beside his head a hold on his left shoulder, as though bracing for continuing to shift your hips in sync. Enigmatic eyes encompass your taught expression, mirroring signs of strain. The cloak is coarse, it only helps as you bunch it in your fist.

"Levi" you exhale, as though his name is pressing you on.

A shimmer of a smile shades the silver but it can't quite surface as he attempts to speak. Pained pleasure presides over it, his leg moves, kicking off your trousers impatiently. Allowing you to grind deeper. It incites a wave of ecstasy causing you to practically collapse, back curving with a gasp, throwing your head back to the sky as you soar into it.

"_Harder_, _" you think Levi grunts in request. His words are a low rumble, striking a chord in your euphoria. With all the control you can muster, which isn't much in this blissful state, you move to ease him, draw him to the brink. When that familiar wetness takes over his iron grip winces, further creasing your skin. You dig your nails in as Levi expels your name, you are quivering again as he gasps. His teeth are gritted, dark eyes drawing you from the sky above. Delayed in your delirium you bring them down dizzily and by the time you reach them they have moved from your face.

Levi runs two fingers along your scar, enveloping your right wrist, subduing your pulse as a bead of clammy sweat rolls from his brow. His mouth lavishes your cut, clinging to you "I love you" he whispers into your flesh like a secret, still recovering from his laboured breathing "I love you" he repeats, eyes going to yours "I love you my beautiful _" he continues, placing his lips to you between his words. You imagine this is what teenagers were like, high on love and life.

"Say it again" you mumble into his collar bone, removing himself from you and slumping into his arms.

"I love you" he obliges, watching your movements.

Your nose delves under the fabric, lips pressing themselves our of necessity. It is here you see the red droplets that have pierced his white shirt. Your eyes widen "I've made you bleed"

"I don't care, I adore you" Levi smiles, kissing your dewy crown, pulling you down to his side and away from your concern.

"And I adore you" you grin back, certain grey dismissing your apprehension.

"I adore you more" he persists, breathily, placing his lips on the bridge of your nose.

"Not possible" you retort lightly with a peck on the lips.

"I beg to differ" he ends as you break, kissing the fading yellow bruise he had left you with the last time you were entwined.

"Going to show me are you?" you pose as he reaffirms his brand on you.

He doesn't speak but simply rolls your body so he is on top and using his lips to worship your forehead, your nose, your chin, your neck, your stomach.

"Repeatedly" Levi answers after a moment, cheek resting against your inner thigh.


	31. Spread Wings

**At risk of repeating myself I love you all, your support for this fic is inspiring me massively! Reviews still welcome - hint hint ;) haha. Seriously though I had some lovely ones recently, literally making me squeal/cry with happiness. ****On that note. More fluff! And more to come in 2 days - this is a short one so don't want to keep you waiting too long!**

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Spread Wings

The small fire he'd made was charred: as spent as you both felt. Slumber had come to you out of need: a flippant remark you made while resting in Levi's arms about wanting to remain there forever. The next thing you knew he had moved, venturing up to the woods wordlessly to return with those safe arms filled with kindling. You'd lost consciousness to the crackle of timber and the creasing of his cloak, surrounded by warmth; his body's and that of his work. The insistence that he would not see you get ill from impulsive behaviours filtered into your mind somewhere in the midst of this and the loose pulling of your shirt back over your resting body. Smoke sifted through the air in wisps, reminiscent to that expelled from the husk of a Titan. Hot. Faint. Losing its form in the fresh morning dew. You awaken to the sun rising and the sensation of a finger twirling a lock of your hair. You knew yourself to be under the weight of familiar eyes as he curled it, gently touching your cheek and brow every so often. Levi you see, when you peer from under the cover of his cloak, had adopted an absorbed expression whilst carrying out this tender caress. His stare flickers over your form with a contentment. Satiated silver serves as their colour. You don't open your lids enough for him to notice you are witness to it.

"I know you're awake" he accuses casually.

Or not.

You shuffle closer, if that were possible, using him as a pillow to wallow in the rising light. The green wool emblazoned with the wings of freedom continues to cocoon you from the chill as does his body. Those dexterous digits settle on your hips as he assumes your focus on the low hung sun. It strived ever higher with each passing breath.

"We should head back" you mumble into his shirt after a moment.

"No, let us linger a little longer. Moments like this are rare and fleeting in this world" he states, inhaling deeply.

Accepting this without need for persuasion, you fully come to register how relaxed he is, your hands that are already tucked under his cravat splay and retract to feel the flesh they know so well. With a dreamy sigh you recognise the peace dwelling in his calm breathing and inhabiting the creases around his eyes that seem to have softened with the dawn. In your heart you know that Levi, in this instance, is at ease with the world and it permeates from every pore. The role of soldier had been discarded with the night and he is simply a man; your man. You and Levi are just a couple, lovers lying together without the limitations or expectations of the turbulent world you live in thrust so heavily upon your shoulders. There was no pressure to being here, you were anonymous with only the sun and lilacs that surround you bearing witness to your love. When they rustle with a whisper, divulging what they have seen to the wind, their petals sway smoothly without constraint. You remain in this hush as they echo the ministrations of Levi on your skin beneath the cloak, moving in no way in particular yet rooted to a purpose.

It occurs to you, as you watch the morning creep over your lover's features, that this precious time was as golden as the sunlight cascading through the clouds and onto these flowers. What you saw was freedom. You were both blessed to have it granted to you, be it only for a night, and knew it glorious to behold. You could move in the wind for now, lying on a viridian verge and enjoying the endless expanse of blue and white above. When the time comes, as inevitable as a change in the breeze, you could cherish it in your hearts and allow its memory to console woe, grief, pain, whatever adversity fate would surely bring.

Rather aptly two birds soar overhead, headed for some unknown destination.

"What would you be doing if there were no Titans?" you ask simply.

He sighed deeply at the impossibility of your proposition "I'd be up to no good in Sina most likely"

You look to him questioningly and Levi gives you one in return to say he's not going to elaborate; not yet at least "Erwin is a good man" he tells you, dark eyes gazing up at the sky and following the birds.

"Not as good as you" you add, curling up into him, leg winding around his under your makeshift blanket.

He laughs dryly in response.

"You can be so naive about somethings _-chan" he says, tracing a finger along your hairline as his eyes take to you in a sideways glance. You would have thought he said that by mistake but he hadn't missed a beat. You take it, an affirmation of his newly shared feelings.

"I'll take that as a compliment" you return jovially.

"Just don't hit me like you did Oluo" Levi states, nuzzling his chin into your hair roughly. He inhales your scent deeply, lungs filling then falling as he speaks "Remind me to thank Petra by the way"

You nod, no doubt Petra had said something to prompt his approach yesterday. There she went again with that knack for knowing what needed to be rectified. You make a mental note to do the same, what would have transpired without her? You smirk to yourself with thanks to the gods for what did.

"Levi?" you mention, mouth against his ribs, nose hooked over the top of them.

"Hm?"

"How old are you?" you question, readjusting to look at the lake past your entwined boots.

"34, I think" he replies directly. As odd as it may seem it was common to not be sure of your exact age. Part of you expected a response such as this from Levi, unveiling of another mysterious circumstance about the man in your arms. Speaking of which you can feel him grinning "Don't tell me now you're ageist?"

"No, just curious, you don't look 34..." you dismiss lightly as 10 years was neither here nor there. Your spread palm moves to linger over his heart for a second or so, just appreciating its steady rhythm.

_'I would follow it anywhere'_

"Besides, I like an older man to take control" you continue, gripping at the cotton, acting on your musing.

"That I have noticed" he comments lustfully, satire silver sauntering down to you. He tickles your sides at this and you giggle as he does so, rolling about in his cape. His mouth joins his hands and your combined carefree laughter is soon being carried on the breeze. Your flailing protests fall on selectively deaf ears as he kisses you playfully on the neck, nipping at your skin and recounting ground he had most certainly covered last night. You kiss him on the forehead tenderly, fondly fiddling with his now red tipped ears. Your never noticed they did that under all that black hair.

"What would you be doing?" Levi returns to the conversation, relenting and pulling the cloak back over you protectively. He cuddles your close.

"Well" you deliberate as his grey eyes graze over you "I'd still be in my village...or have started a family elsewhere"

A coy smile floods your expression, fidgeting with the straps he'd slipped back over his shirt. As you run over the leather you vaguely recall clinging onto them in the dark before your mind wanders elsewhere. Why you got so broody all of a sudden? Images of a family with Levi slip past your rational mind. You had never considered such a thing in your life before now. You put it to the wind, as it made way for the whimsical today. Along with it, and the hope it carried, came a deluge, sadness. It turns your thoughts to Petra and the possibilities she would have if not for the Titans. She would want to start a family with her betrothed but the pledge to the king was something taken with a willing heart, a heart that you commit to mankind and where one's own dreams and ambitions come second.

Your lost family pops into your head, their faces ghosting through your reverie. What would they have made of your life, fighting the fight...being with Levi? They abhorred violence but perhaps that would perception would have changed with death. You believe your mother would have seen past the warrior, past rank and reputation. Seen his resolution and conviction and welcomed him with open arms. Your father probably would have made a remark about his height, in jest of course, but would have also accepted him with a suitable front of weariness. They were quite similar in that respect: reserved and aware of people. It inspired a gentle smile in your eyes. He would approve of such a man, of this you were sure. But this was all hypothetical. Ghosts had no bearing over the future. Equally if not for the monsters beyond the walls would you and Levi even be together? Would you have ever met? Probably not.

You hear him swallow. It breaks you from your introversion.

"You miss them?" he asks, decisive eyes locking with yours.

"Always" you sigh into the void they left in your heart, letting your e/c eyes wander over his face. Levi remains there for a few seconds, studying you but keeping his findings to himself. It was amazing how he just knew sometimes. It baffled you how he could read you, those slight egregious eyes detecting your thoughts as though visible things he could capture and analyse.

"I never knew my parents" he comments after, turning back to the sky.

You, without removing your stare from his face, take hold of the hand resting on his stomach. Levi observes your action, orbs harbouring another undisclosed thought as you give it a comforting squeeze. His thumb runs over your skin automatically for a few seconds "Come, we better get back before people wonder where you've gone" he adds, rising and taking you with him.

"Me? What about you?" you say, scooping up his cloak as you go.

"I'm Heichou Levi, I can do as I please" he dismisses with a bored tone, raising an eyebrow as he takes it from you. He inspects it, a few grass and mud stains splattered across it "Ugh..."

"I bet I can beat you back though" you share airily, distracting him from his distaste with amusement.

His eyebrow lowers at the challenge, surveying you doing up your shirt properly and walking back toward Kahini and Dante "Is that so?"

"Yep" you nod, mounting her while he whips on his stained cloak.

"We shall see about that" he accepts, checking her bridle for you. With that she licks his hand, excited to get going.

"I think she likes me" he indicates flatly "How disgusting" he adds inspecting his soiled sleeve.

You laugh and take the advantage, rearing her on her hind legs and sending her into motion.


	32. Clipped

Clipped

You beat Levi back, despite him contesting the false start you took upon yourself. However your healthy debate draws to a close as you meet the silent grounds. It echoes nothingness, the stone walls sharing nothing. The smile you'd held throughout your return fades as you speak, along with the remnants of Levi's glints in his grey eyes

"It's quiet, I think we even beat Petra rising" you comment, eyeing up the empty courtyard cautiously. It must be about seven in the morning but even so people were usually milling about by now. Levi's suspicious stare states this observation as he searches his surroundings with it "It's too quiet. Something is wrong"

The horses are stowed quickly and together you hastily head into the castle. A few corridors later you finally run into someone. It just so happens to be Hange.

"Levi, there you are! Erwin has been looking for you" she greets, startling you both as you round a corner.

His flat expression takes stead of asking where he was required.

"Your office" she answers, following his unbroken path. He does not turn back, nor do you expect him to. His pace remains steady as he departed, Hange was silent in I is wake. Something was off.  
The air reeked of it.

Stiflingly tension rife, you spy Armin. He had been following after Hange with a clipboard, presumably having assisted her in her experiments.

_'Oh god is Eren okay?'_

"Armin?" you call, nodding to him. His eyes are heavy, troubled, they didn't often harbour such things. It scared you and didn't discourage your instant thoughts as to what is going on "Where is everyone?"

"It has been decided" he starts ominously, you having broken him from his own contemplation it seems. Those blue orbs shift to yours precariously, piercing the space between you "We are heading outside the walls again" he answers.

"So soon? But we've hardly had time to mourn the dead" you respond, bewildered. People must have been fearful, hence the deathly quiet enveloping the castle and the lack of movement. The same had happened last time; an eerie edge to the air before preparations could begin and the whispers formed into orders.

"It is the mission upon which Eren's fate is decided" he elaborates quietly, sapphire eyes quaking with concern.

Your expression suddenly becomes grave, internalised much like Armin's had been before you interrupt. He wants assurance but you can't give any. You all knew this was coming but clearly both of you hadn't anticipated how fast. His grip on the clipboard tightened. Had preparations already begun? With that, as though he knew he was occupying your mind, Eren barrels down the hall. A relieved pant and a small smile later his emerald eyes flicker between you. He is followed by Connie and Sasha, both wearing the same quiet smirks. Why were they smiling? This was terrible news.

"Jean's awake guys" he informs.

No words were exchanged, you simply follow the group onwards. Eren hangs back to speak with you, jogging a little slower as to slow you down. You have never been so relieved to see him in one piece.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asks as you as you rush to Jean's bedside in Hange's office, urgent tone interrupting his collected demeanour.

"Out" you breathe vaguely.

"_Out_?!" he asks incredulously. You shoot him a look and he understands, voice warbling with disbelief "And you just got back?"

"I was mad at him, he came after me…we…we sorted things" you try to explain as discreetly as you could. Nobody was in direct earshot but if you said something along the lines of the truth; that Levi told you he loved you and had banged in a field until you had nothing left... more than one set of ears would prick up, that was for sure.

"Okay I don't want to know the details…but I'm glad you resolved it" Eren winced, shutting his eyes as though shielding himself from the mental image "Maybe training won't be so painful to endure now" he adds in an afterthought as you enter the room.

"Hey how you feeling Horse Face?" Connie meets your collective invalid.

"Shut it Corn Cob" he returns, that sharpness in his voice you had all missed penetrating the quiet. Chagrin flashing across his lips.

"Jean" you smile, breaking through the harem of your comrades.

He looks at you with soft wide eyes, they were like toffee, melting as though he is as thankful to see you as you are to see him. After a second something absorbs his expression, perhaps a recollection that he was pissed off at you.

"_" he exhales, his tone indeterminate.

Silence sears through the air. You had forgotten that other people in the room until Sasha interrupts the lost look on your face "Um…. we'll leave you to it? Yeah?"

She nudges you suggestively as everybody filters out; it feels like a dull weight smacking you in the gut rather than the gentle movement it was.

"Thanks for saving me" Jean says in a low admission, not meeting your eyes. He looked thin. Thin in his mind as well as his face. He had been asleep for near a month so it was to be expected. Grey circles swelled under his eyes despite this rest yet their colour, it still burned with a ferocity you had become accustomed to. It gave you consolation that your efforts were worth it, your near sacrifice of Levi...it told you Jean would be the same man he always was, after some nourishment.

"Don't mention it" you shrug, guessing he remembered the weight that had smashed into him "Do you remember much?"

He pauses, racking his brain, ochre eyes are searching a no place in his palms. He stares down at them, brow furrowing in thought "You were arguing with someone in here"

_'Oh God'_ your mind bleats.

You stare at Jean, using what control you have to maintain a somewhat impassive stare. Your eyes are threatening to widen like saucers. The pit in your stomach is growing, consuming your blaring heart and the heat in your cheeks.

"It was you and Levi" he continues softly, curiously. He pauses again, decidedly flicking his gaze up to you "Are you _nuts_, _arguing_ with Levi Heichou?!" he snaps, eyes ablaze.

"It was nothing" you discourage casually, hoping to bypass this topic if there was any luck in this world.

"It was…about…" he attempts, clearly aggravated with his hazy recollections. Uncertainty frustrated his features and his rosy lips thinned.

_'Now really isn't the time to discuss this. He wakes up and you tell him that not only are you not interested in him but you were most definitely in a relationship with the very Lance Corporal that he has issue with...oh and all those issues were to do with you...welcome back? Glad you are okay...yeah right!'_

You sigh.

"Forget me, are _we_ okay?" you intervene.

Those bright brown eyes swell with water, scanning you slowly. Your heart stammers, on the edge of a precipice, nearing it with each passing second. Had he worked it out? This isn't the way you wanted him to find out. This wasn't the time you wanted him to find out.

"_"

You nearly jump out of you skin as you spin to your name. Eren is in peering in, carrying a concerned shade in his countenance.

"What is it?" you practically hiss.

"Heichou needs to see you" he tells you but part of you knows there is more.

"Can it wait, we are kinda bus-" you return only to have Eren shaking his head. It is then you see the seriousness of the expression etched into his youthful features.

"It's Commander Erwin too" he practically croaks.

_'Fuck'_

That was the only word for it...and this morning held such promise. Something must have moved over your features because Jean is giving you a suspicious look, attempting to deduce what was going on.

"I'll come back, get some rest" you tell him. You are met with a dazed expression as you attempt to walk calmly out the room "Yeah" is all he manages.

* * *

"What the _fuck_ Eren?!" you reel in suppressed tones as you click the door shut.

"I...I don't know" he replied quickly, fearful of the intensity in your eyes "I haven't breathed a word"

"I know you wouldn't, neither would Petra" you answer, walking briskly toward Levi's office.

_'Where is she?'_

You need to see her, get some form of counsel or one of here intuitive ideas. Maybe even thank her before you are stripped of the opportunity to.

"Who would have informed Commander though?" Eren questions As you reach your destination.

"I dunno. But I think I'm about to find out" you answer, staring at Levi's door. Never had you been so nervous in your life. Save telling Levi you loved him that first night perhaps. Eren must have seen the terror in your eyes and gives your hand a squeeze. It is amazing through all of this Eren is giving you comfort. He was the one whom humanity's hopes had been pinned to, who's very existence was dependent on a mission, who was some kind of unknown monster that did not know how or why he had such powers. Yet there he was, your little brother, giving your a look of assurance.

"It'll be fine" he states, as though it was the surest bet in the world. He opens the door to your nod.

You enter the office to see two men in conversation by his desk. Levi is leant against the farthest wall, the sunlight streaming past and catching on his shadow concealed form. That was where your eyes went initially, instantly, instinctively. Nothing could be ascertained from his usual calm face. Then, they drift forward to the hard faced blonde that you knew to be Commander Erwin Smith. His thick set body was illuminated by the warm morning light, it towering over the space and exuded power. Not a silent power like Levi but one that was moving from dormancy, ticking away under the surface, brewing. It did not speak loudly but instead whispered, assuring the atmosphere that he was in charge, that he had a knowledge that others would never be graced with, that he could roar like a lion or be as brazen and fierce as one if he so wished. You straighten, registering the Commander's presence with a salute, hoping it not to be your last as part of the Recon Corps...if he knew what was going on, it was surely going to be.


End file.
